Not for 1st timers.

[TheBreastmilksOnMe]

Why didn't anyone tell me just how utterly painful, agonising and brutal giving birth really is?

I wanted a VBAC so much, to do it 'au naturell' but half way through I had to question my logic. My God!

Is it possible to become phobic about childbirth after having experienced a relatively straightforward labour and birth?

Does anyone else want to share their shock with me? My DD is 4 weeks old now and I still come over in a cold sweat when I think about it. I really wanted a 3rd child too!

NoWayNoHow
I am not at all trying to say that it is a woman's fault (for lack of preperation) I think out maternity services are remiss for not usually supporting women well that have long difficult labours, usually malpositioned babies.

gloyw
I agree that women who opt for epidurals etc are more usually having difficult labours

aliceelinsmum
All the women's records that I used in the study started labour low risk, I excluded all women classed as high risk and consultant led from the research.

S

I feel full of sadness when I read posts where people have had a traumatic first birth, and are desperate for an elcs.

Dd1 was 3 day labour, gas and air, 6 hours pushing, episiotomy, ventouse 3rd degree tear.

dd2 induced due to meconium in my waters, epidural, constant monitoring, passing out due to bp crashes, second degree tear.

Managed to get an elcs for ds (due to damage sustained from previous births), which turned out to be the worst of the lot.

Low bp, allergic to the standard pain relief, constant nausea and vomiting, lost tons of blood, ds taken to nicu straight away, then in scbu for 8 days. I developed inflammation of the veins and an infection in my scar. It was fucking awful.

8 months on, and I still have nightmares and feel in shock. I have just been referred to a birth trauma counsellor, and am on anti depressants for ptsd.

Have decided I'm just crap at birth, however I do it.

hazeyjane, that's awful. I'm really sorry you've had three (different) bad experiences, it's just not fair.

I don;t see why this thread is "not for first timers" when most of the content is "i wish i had known...."

We are not idiots. We realise some people have terrible labours, some have relatively easy ones. We never know where in that spectrum we will fall, so why as a first timer should we avoid a thread that can only serve to prepare us for worst case scenarios, and make us realise that if it happens to us, we are not alone!

Everytime i read the thread title I bristle.

Fair enough Selina - good study size for your research!

two days after giving birth my mw asked me to describe a contraction and i said it was like having your insides ripped apart by wild animals whilst being set on fire! she laughed and agreed! the thing is that i actually enjoyed giving birth after the epidural, i had planned a natural birth but had no qualms about my decision to demand pain relief when i realised i needed it. i don't feel like a failure, i feel i made the right decision and the fact i was laughing and smiling between pushes meant i have lovely memories of my son's arrival into this world.

i wish women were told that a) contractions can and often do hurt like nothing they've ever felt and b) they have a right to any pain relief/ delivery they need even if they hadn't planned it beforehand. i know it's cliched but there is only one medal in childbirth and that's your baby.

(apologies for non capitals but feeding again..... )

OP & balsam I don't want this question to sound unsympathetic because it's really not intended that way - given that no-one can predict how a birth will go, what would you have liked to have been told in advance to help you feel better prepared for the experience?

nowaynohow I didn't get the impression from selina's post that interventions could be avoided - I say this as someone who had an intervention filled horrible birth experience ending in emcs.

selina I can completely agree re the bf results - in my case, I didn't even hold my baby within the first hour as I was having a reaction to the epidural and after that, she was so drowsy maybe from the pethidine, we couldn't establish bf.

gloyw I knew pethidine would have an effect on the baby but it also has a pain relieving effect on mum and that's what the focus in it's use in labour. Do you believe it would be better not to offer diamorphine or pethedine and just go straight to epidural if they do need something stronger than G&A & paracetamol?