First time mum needing some honest advice from mums!

[Vickisbump]

Hello everyone, i have a very big concern - it might not seem like such a big deal to most of you and it may be an unusual thing for someone to ask about childbirth, and you will probably laugh and think i am being stupid, but i am worrying myself sick about this.
I have a great phobia of blood. Now i know that childbirth isn't blood free, obviously, but i'm so worried that i am going to be laying in a bath of my own blood. I am so unaware of what goes on at childbirth, i've never planned on having children (untill i met my partner :) ) but i have been doing loads of research and getting advice from my sisters who have 4 kids between them. I recently was made aware about the after birth and after googling this and coming across a very distressing photo with so much blood i have gotten myself into such a state and a panic. I have about 5 months to go and do not want to spend them stressing and worrying over this as i know it's not good for my baby.
My sisters told me it's not going to be a blood bath, but i can't help but think they are only saying this to calm me as they know my fear of blood. I would rather be advised honestly so i know what i am going to be in for and can try to deal with this. I'm honestly not worried about the pain, it's just the blood part! Aaaah!
Can anyone give me an honest answer about the amount of blood that i will have to see? If any?
I feel so silly posting something like this , but i dont want to be stressing and harming my baby.
Any advice anyone? Please?
Did anyone else have this concern?

Thank you soo much for any advice xxx

you shouldn't feel silly for posting, that's precisely what MN is for. you have a phobia, so you are absolutely doing the right thing by addressing it.

as far as i am concerned, your sisters are not lying to you. i've had one normal birth and one caesarean section, and in neither case was i aware of seeing any blood.

i think afterwards with the normal birth i needed a wash and i suppose that blood will have been there, but i never noticed it as i was too busy admiring my lovely baby.

however, afterwards it is like a heavy period for a good few days so i don't know how you feel about that.

congratulations about the baby and maybe ask the midwife if they can help you access nlp or hypnotherapy for the phobia?

Thank you for the reply :)

If it is just like a heavy period then i will be fine! I know i have to expect some blood, like you say when having to have a wash afterwards, but i couldn't bare seeing loads, i'd probably pass out and miss my little arrival!

I feel so much calmer now, i think i just had to hear it from someone that wasn't aware of my serve fear and knowing they are not just trying to keep be calm!

Thank you so much for this :) I will deffo be talking to my midwife, she has already put in my notes about my phobia for when i have my bloods done, but the midwives didn't seem to care too much, they left the tubes of blood beside me! Nightmare!

Again thanks so much for this :) xxx

i had 2nd degree tearing and even then there wasn't much blood - i don't remember it. certainly not pools.

i would tell the mw at the hospital when you're in labour though and i think they'll be a lot more sensitive.

Hi, I had a natural birth in hospital back in Sept so it's fairly fresh in my mind: during the pushing stage I did see some drops of blood as I was standing / squatting. Not masses though. Then for the afterbirth there was a bit more, which the mw collected in a cardboard container so they could estimate how much I'd lost. That was more visible but I'd expect it could be handled in a different way, maybe by your DP standing near you and distracting you, or something?

In any case it wasn't a case of lying in pools of blood, but there was some to be seen, to be fair. Who will be supporting you through the birth - they need to know, so that they can help make sure that mws, drs etc are aware. (I had a doula, which I think was some of the best money I've ever spent!)

I lost a lot of blood after my birth and I didn't even see any, I just heard it all splat fall on the floor, but at the time I wasn't aware of what it was. Hope everything goes well for you

Like sunnydays I lost a lot of blood and needed a blood transfusion. I dont mean to scare you as a PPH (post partum haemorrhage) is rare but it can happen. That said, I didn't actually see any of the blood myself and the transfusion was done under GA so I didn't even see the blood bag.

I had 2 C sections after that delivery and didnt see any blodd either.

With both my DDs I didn't notice any blood at all during labour. The only blood was afterwards. When you are lying down after giving birth the blood can pool inside ,so when you stand up it can gush a bit. Good idea to let your mws know about your fears so that they and you can be prepared.

You should deffinitly tell your midwife about this phobia and she will put it in your notes. She will also help you with what to expect.

I think phobias like this become more heightened during pregnancy with all your extra hormones and stuff courseing around your body and I think we all start pondering and obsessing too much on certain things about our pregnancies. I have fibroids and it is very hard for me not to obsess about them, but everytime I see my midwife I get it off my chest and she makes me feel alot better about it.

Deffinitly tell the midwife during your labour and make sure your birthing partner knows and that they tell the midwife and doctors too, so that it really sinks in. Just in case your phobia takes over during the birth.

But most of all try not to worry yourself silly about it, and dont beat yourself up about having a phobia. Who knows this whole experience might help you beat your phobia or get along with it better.

good luck

Everyone is different but in my case I didn't see any blood at all. MWs reckoned I lost maybe 50ml, about what you'd lose during a period. And that soaked into the navy blue towels I'd put on the floor to give birth on (which they whipped away and put straight in the washing machine).

Afterwards is a bit weird though - you will probably pass large clots for a few days which is a bit icky, but by then you'll have other fish to fry.

Hope that helps. You're doing the right thing to think about it. Good luck.

Ive had 3 and dont remember much blood. Only like a heavy period. If some does appear, the midwives deal with it before you notice it (in my experience) There are lots of absorbent sheets around that they tend to remove as they go along keeping the area clean.

I lost a lot of blood with DS1 and didn't see ANY of it. With DS2 there was barely a spot of blood - I know bevause it was at home and DH had to clean it up! Both times afterwards the lochia was like a heavy period.

Have you considered hypnotherapy? I had a lot of birth fears and did an antenatal hypnobirthing type day and it made the world of difference.

I had a lot of blood but I have very heavy blood loss in a normal period, so if you periods are normal you should be fine.

The midwives are very good at clearing up as they go and you will be very busy. In my case I think they had a stack of absorbant towel things under me that they whip away as needed, revealing a clean one underneath. i think that's what they did anyway, didn't see any blood untill later like a heavy period.

I don't really remember much blood at all. I think the MWs are quite discrete (sp?) about whiping sheets away and things and you're too busy as others have said admiring the baby. I did have a heavy period for a short while after but that was it.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, enjoy it and post whenever you need to ask something on mumsnet. It's a wonderful support network.

I apparently lost a fair bit first time round but honestly was not aware - it was only when dh bagged up the tshirt I'd worn that I realised it was bloody. The midwife will whisk any mess away very discreetly.

Thanks so much to all of you for your replied, i really do feel so much more relaxed! Phew!
My partner will be there at the birth - he already knows about my phobia, he has has broken hands at all the blood tests (haha)! He keeps reasuring me that he will do his best to keep me focused on him and getting the baby out! I know i have to expect to see some blood, i am trying to come to terms with that, i think i will be ok with little bits.

I really didn't expect so many replies, i really do feel a hundred times better, thanks to you all! :) xxx

The only blood I saw was when they put the cannula in my hand, some blood did spurt out of that, but just a bit. It did shock me though so if you have to have one of these in at any point make sure you close your eyes and look away then.

FWIW I did not see any blood during the births of my DCs.
There must have been some, but it must have been at "the other end" of me IYSWIM.

I saw NOTHING horrid at all.

I have had 2DC and have never clapped eyes on the afterbirth. Can't say I was looking for it tbh.

Didn't notice any blood either, although my partner did.

The bath afterwards was fine too. I noticed a little bit of blood, but no more than a heavy period type thing. And the blood flow still slowed right down in the bath too.

I did see a lot of blood at my births, I bleed a lot normally with injury or periods.

I was at the birth of my DGDs and neither of my DDs lost a lot of blood.

I have a friend who has a phobia of blood and the MW made sure she changed the draw sheet under her regularly. Even if there is a lot you don't need to see it.

I know its not what you want to hear but I lost a lot of blood both times, more the first time. I had a PPH which was quite bad and there was a lot of blood everywhere, I get the impression that it is fairly rare but can happen.

I won't give you all the gory details but if you think you wouldn't cope could you spend some time practising some calming breathing techniques/calming music or something that you know you will use if you end up in a frightening situation? Then you will know that you are prepared in advance.

Apparently I had a post-partum haemorrhage, plus a tear, but I didn't see any blood that I remember.

I remember a bit of a smear of blood on ds when I first held him - you could perhaps ask your dp to take your baby first and just see that there isn't blood on his face? Though I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't worry you at the time. It really wasn't dramatic.

In the photos of the birth afterwards there is a sheet with some blood on it - again you could ask your dh to try and make sure any photos are blood free.

Glad you're feeling more relaxed. Oh, and congratulations

I had a forceps birth and didn't see any blood at all - there wasn't even that much bleeding afterwards, no more than a heavy period.