Dads at birth??

[kleggie]

This is probably going to sound ridiculous as we're not even pregnant yet, but since dh and I have started ttc, we have been discussing our hopes, fears etc.

DH has always been very honest and I know that although he really wants to be at the birth, he has never wanted to see the 'business end'. I assumed that he was just squeamish (and was fine with it) but he admitted last night that he was very concerned that seeing 'down there' would alter the way he saw me. My own dad was present at my birth and- without knowing too much about what goes on in my parent's bedroom- I know that he regretted looking down there and in all honesty it affected his sexual relationship with my Mum.

I have no problem with him staying at the head end, but always envisaged an active labour and birth. I would imagine that there is a high chance that while I'm merrily waving my bum in the air on all fours he may just catch sight of something he doesn't want to.

Have any of your dp/dh's been there and regretted it? Am I best just taking my Mum with me? Sorry if this all sounds a bit ridiculous, but I want to take dh's fears seriously and let him know that I'm addressing them.

Anyway, I've got a smear test in half an hour. Oh the joys of chit chatting about the weather with 'legs apart, bottom down!' (anybody remember this Ben Elton sketch?!) Oh the joys of being female....

Please let me know your thoughts, I'll check back later.

Kleggie - Thats just my brash nature! I wasn't saying that your DH was shallow and selfish.... I was saying that if that trully was more important to a Dad than seeing his child born and supporting his wife then.... THAT is shallow and selfish!

BUT

I think your DH is probably just using that as an excuse coz he doesn't want to show any weakness if he's really not able to cope with all that goes hand in hand with labour.

Is your DH that Hugh Feely- Whathisname? Hospital food is bad, but not that bad

Kleggie - As long as its properly prepared and served up to your friends at a dinner party without their knowledge.... then thats fine!

Toothache love I think you're spot on. Sorry for taking it personally, I remember not so long ago he kept getting all weird about table arrangements at our wedding. A subtle subterfuge as he was in reality really quite worried about being emotional and 'unmanly' in front of people. He cried all the way through the ceremony, his speech, my speech. Stopped long enough for the wedding night cried as we were waved off on the train.

Men, honestly, admit you're scared/squeamish/emotional/usually wrong and things'll be just peachy

Hugh Fernley-Whittingstall? Wrap it up in a straw bale and cook it outside by the light of a moon, in a field, on midsummers day? That the fella?

Jamie Oliver's recipes are so much easier...

My god I feel physically sick now - I know it's tradition or whatever but has anyone actually eaten it? Not dissing them but would be interested to know what it tastes like without having to experience such culinary delights myself!

My god I feel physically sick now - I know it's tradition or whatever but has anyone actually eaten it? Not dissing them but would be interested to know what it tastes like without having to experience such culinary delights myself!

Whoops sorry - bloody computer!

Chloe55 - I think that warrants a whole thread to itself! Shall I??

my dp is very nervous..he can't even watch nip/tuck because of the blood..and thats not real! heheehe
he plans to be there but stay at head end and hopefully my mum will be there as back up in case he wusses out.
who knows though..maybe he'll end up elbow deep in gunk and loving every minute..teeheee

I was very, very surprised by my DP. He stood back while I was labouring and just let me get on with it, just stepped in when he saw the opportunity. Then as the head crowned he couln't resist having a look! Even though he swore he wouldn't. But he was wowoed by it. And then once Lottie was born he cut the umbilical cord. Something I had suggested while I was pregant but he said he couldn't do, but he was straight in there with the scissors once she was with us!

dh was at both of my dd's births and he absolutely loves the experience - if we have another he wants us to have a home birth so he can be more hands on