almost convinced by homebirth article in the Guardian this weekend...

[elportodelgato]

I don't know if anyone else saw this article by Sali Hughes about homebirth on Saturday in the Guardian Family section? probably there is a whole thread about it somewhere but I can't find it...

I've never considered homebirth before but this article has really made me think again. I had a straightforward pregnancy with my DD but she was induced at 41+3 so I was in hospital so they could monitor the induction. Besides, it was my first baby and I would not have wanted to be anywhere except hospital. The whole labour was 7 hours in total and I did without any pain relief (not out of choice btw, would have loved something to take the edge off) until G&A for the pushing stage - I tore and had stitches but otherwise all was normal. It's entirely possible that I will be induced this time around too but if I'm not then I am really considering homebirth - can someone come and tell me if I am being silly and it's my hormones?

I almost cried when I read the bit about her being tucked up in her own bed in nice clean pyjamas with her new baby. It has made me really realise that my hospital experience last time was 'OK' but not amazing - busy London hospital, laboured for the most part behind a curtain in a ward which was not at all private or pleasant and I remember being hugely embarrassed when my waters broke on the floor. In the night following the birth the call button in my cubicle didn't work and no one came to help me. Because of my stitches I needed help to get to the loo etc but no one did this. I'd like to avoid all these downsides if possible and suddenly homebirth looks attractive. Can anyone offer a view?

I haven't read this thread but just my 2cents - I've had all 3 of my babies at home and it's been wonderful. The option of gas and air was there but I didn't feel I needed it, possibly (but of course no hard evidence for this) because I felt so relaxed in my own environment. Best of all, after each L&D I was able to shower in my own shower, get into my own bed and drink my own tea!! and my existing dc were present (not in the room) for births 2 &3 so were able to meet their new siblings immediately.

Highly, highly recommend but as with anything re: childbirth you have to feel comfortable and secure with your choices and the available support.

Thanks for the advice EdgarEllenpop, I'll definitely consider hb for dc2 but make sure they know I want them to come asap (3 3/4 hour 1st labour ). I read a post on here a while back from a mner who was told the mw was coming but she didn't turn up! Apparantly she didn't think she was really in labour which is what happened to me when I called the hospital in labour with ds . One of my friends was told she wasn't in labour after she arrived at hospital, they sent her home and her FIL delivered her ds on the bathroom floor 30 minutes later . I seem to have developed an irrational fear and mistrust of mws and doctors since ds' birth which I'll have to get past or ds will always be an only child!

"But as DH puts it a HB is about making it a better experience for me, he just wants a healthy baby and wife."

Er, you say that as if he thinks a better experience for you isn't desirable. Even if we discount potential detriments or advantages to your mental and emotional health (and if DH does, he's an ass)...

You're planning to do a massive, intense, physical thing, involving muscles and hormones and a certain amount of pain. Negative emotional and hormonal state, physical tenseness brought about by fear, and adrenaline (which apparently slows down labour) would all, I'd have thought, put you in a far less useful position to have a healthy labour that isn't complicated by potentially harmful interventions. (And some inteventions can cause harm and complications. Not always, but they are an added risk.) Ultimately, wherever you are most likely to be relaxed and comfortable will be the physically healthiest place for you and by extension, for the baby.

Let me start by saying my DH is not an ass...he is fab, and he is just trying to make what he thinks is the right decision, and in the end I will take his opinion into account.

We did have a lot of 'debate' about this last night and it mainly comes down to the fact that from the way he saw it my first labour wasn't that bad. He says I even told him that straight after labour and said it didn't hurt that much. I told him he shouldn't pay too much heed to things I said in post delivery euphoria! I'm sure I ^didn't say than anyway! He says I coped amazingly well and he can't tally up what he saw with the way I feel now.

I really am in two minds about it, being pg with my second. My first was a v quick labour, which was actually pretty shocking in its violence/speed, and I have been advised to have this one at home. Having said that, My son was in need of resuscitation and then special care afterwards, that I am not sure I wouldbe able to relax during a homebirth. But then I am not sure I am looking forward to racing to the hospital at top speed at the first sign of a contraction, and somehow getting my son looked after. I can see DH will have to look after him and I could well end up on my own. It's so hard - plus DH is very much against the idea, mainly because of how DS was after birth, although he did recover v quickly and this was all probably due to meconium in the fluid which, if it happened again, would rule a homebirth out anyway....

I was just worried because it sounded to me from your post that 'a better experience' was somehow not being seen as, well, better. Sorry if I sounded accusatory though, it wasn't intentional!

Don't worry, he obviously does have different priorities for me. If something did go wrong and he hadn't been on board with the idea idea, well, I hate to think...

Katster, similar situation here, there was meconium in my waters with DD, probably as she had the cord around her neck, though she was never in actual distress, her HB didn't falter for a second. My worry is how will they know if there is meconium in the waters, my waters didn't go till I was pushing!

I said to DH that if we went for a HB which we probably will plan for, on account of the potential speed of my labour, we will say to the MW that any hint of an issue and we would like to be transferred. As experienced as the MWs are I don't want to push through potential problems for the sake of getting a HB. DH seemed happier with that caveat. Does that sound sensible?

I'm not saying that the MW would be risky and try and get me to stay at home, but from what I have read on here and other sites that they might try and see how you go if they think you can see it through. I want DH to feel secure, as I need his confidence to see me through.

Bumper - I'm sure my DH would be happy to talk to your DH if he was still worried and wanted a Dad's perspective.

I've had 3 brilliant HBs, and only have good things to say. I'm convinced that my birth with DC1 would have been very different had I not had expert birthing partners with me and forceps would have most certainly been brought out.

If you've had a good pregnancy I'd say go for it. It also makes for a very, very positive experience with older DCs.

Do email or FB me if you want to, I've been wondering about you lately!

Hello foxy me ol' mucker! Thanks for the offer. Not sure DH would talk to a stranger, as in over the phone. He doesn't like me 'interfering' or matchmaking (i.e. not the 'asking for help' type). Would your DH (oh, that's weird, how did the wedding go BTW?!) put something in an email perhaps?

I will email you to properly catch up to too :)

Has your partner seen these-

www.homebirth.org.uk/blokesven.htm

www.amazon.co.uk/Fathers-Home-Birth-Handbook/dp/0956071104

Selina

I have the book in your second link. Our 'debate' last night was about his reluctance to read it despite me having had it for 6 months and the birth being 4 weeks away! I told him I felt on my own with the whole thing, and I was happy for him to have an opinion as long as it was an informed one.

He has also looked at the HB website but said it gave him even more things to worry about that he'd never heard of before

Not sure what will allay his fears really, or even mine. It seems like people who have HB don't really have those fears in the first place, which makes me wonder if I can do it?

hmm, a difficult one. As a doula, I do feel I'm there for the partner too, so I do try to tackle their fears and support them with that too (whatevwer they are). Any friends who have had HB's with partner's that he knows?
I usually describe it like life, does he like to do things which are theoretically risky but fun/exciting? (e.g. motor bikes, diving etc etc)
Have you got any hypnobirthing cd's, you could get him to listen to them with you, might allay some of his fear!
S x

Nope, wouldn't consider a home birth. I like the reassurance of technology being there if I need it and know of cases when homebirths would have been a problem.

I know a homebirth would be relaxing and lovely, but for me the end goal of a healthy baby is all that matters. Plus I loved being on the labour ward with lots of babies and new mums.

Often with DHs its about a sense of control IMVHO. They need to feel that someone is in control when they can't be.

DH wasn't with me when DC2 was born but was with me during labour, and I had a good friend there. He was with me for DC3, and for DC4 I was on my own (with the MWs - happily so). He was making the MWs a brew. The only slightly negative thing was when it was all happening too quickly, and he was thinking 'shit, I'm going to have to deliver this baby', and I was thinking 'shit, he's going to have to deliver this baby'.

DC4 was 2 weeks over. The MW took DH out for a quiet word, to say if there was meconium in the water we'd be off to the hospital ASAP. No need for it, but she very discreetly make him away to be prepared to move quickly if necessary.

Thesecondcoming, no-one is saying your births weren't natural so don't get defensive, no-one said only HBs are natural.

The natural thing is a red herring for me anyway. Believe me, if I thought having an epidural or an elective csec would give me a better birth experience I would do it, but I don't, I would feel out of control. Nothing to do with natural or not, I don't give a shit, I just want to be as relaxed as I can be under the circumstances.

I was induced with DS1 and ended up with a forceps delivery (lift out, so not too severe).

I opted for a homebirth with DS2 and laboured at home for 12 hrs. In the end I had a feeling things weren't progressing normally (nothing had been flagged by the mw) and transferred. It turned out there was meconium in the waters and I had a small amount of syntocin to move things along. Pushed DS2 out myself with no stitches, so very pleased with the outcome.

I would try for a homebirth again, but not disappointed it didn't happen this time.

I would try for a homebirth if I didn't live in such a small and badly sound proofed flat. I think I would feel intimidated because of that so would kind of defeat the purpose.

Luckily, my local hospital (literally across the road) has just opened a new midwife led unit which I hope to use. Private rooms, ensuite, birthing pool or bath in every room. Discharged after 6 hours, unless complications. As close as I can get to my homebirth. And as the hospital is so close I will try and labour as much as I can at home.

If I end up transferring to the main ward, then fair enough. But hopefully it will all be fun.

Are there any similar units near you Bumperlicious? Possibly a compromise between hospital and home?

The thing is you are no safer in a MLU than at home AFAIK, if something went wrong you'd still have to be transferred to a hospital if the MLU isn't attached to one. The closest MLU is a lot further from the hospital than my home is.

No not safer, I just thought it might sound better to your partner? Mine is actually in the hospital itself, some hospitals do have them.

I've read the whole thread through as pg with DC2 and have been considering HB. However, found out I am Group B Strep positive although will not know until 36 weeks if I am still positive or not to make a final decision.

I had pretty much decided on a HB, mainly due to difficult first experience in hospital and the other lovely things people mention - being able to tuck up in bed afterwards, DH not having to go home etc. Also because I really wanted an epidural first time (had back labour) but as anaesthetist was busy elsewhere I didn't get one. The level of pain was, for me, extreme and as I now know I can't count on epidural I wanted to take every measure I could to cope with the pain without drugs second time round.

But...but... I just can't get over the 'what if'. I know the risk of something going badly wrong is very small, but to paraphrase a comment on the Guardian HB thread, 'it's not so much what is the risk of something going wrong, but rather if it does how bad will it be?' And I think I would rather be in hospital just in case. I am still hoping to have a positive experience - I think second time around is easier generally, I have booked a doula, I'm doing yoga, I am going to find out about birth pool etc. It's a shame I feel that the choice has to be between a more positive experience for me at home in surroundings where I am comfortable and the knowledge that in hospital every medical option is available immediately if something were to go wrong. One factor is that hospital is about 20-25 mins away from me, although quicker if ambulance had lights going...but then ambulance has to get to me first so I think from phone call to arriving in theatre we're talking at least 20 mins.

Personally, I think the best solution would be for hospitals to be better staffed so labouring women aren't left alone, for midwifes to encourage women to move and change positions and for materinty units to be more homely and supplied with things like tens, balls, mats etc.

nantynan "An uncomplicated delivery can only be diagnosed in retrospect".

I couldn't agree MORE. Childbirth is unpredictable. I agree women should have the choice of a home or hospital birth, but for me personally I can't see why I would want to deliberately be miles, rather than metres away from surgeons, doctors and sophisticated technology ready to save the life of myself and my baby. In the 15 or 20 minutes it takes to get to a hospital it could be 15 or 20 minutes too late for the baby. I personally can't risk my baby's safe entrance into the world, and life or quality of life thereafter, because I wanted to give birth at home and not in a hospital.

I don't expect everyone to agree, but it's how I feel about it.

Few people can address some of the uninformed points like Beverly Beech can so I am linking her insightful letter here as there is nothing I could add.

It is old but still applies.

X posts wholelottalove, I totally agree with all your suggestions of improving labour ward conditions.