non-functional after childbirth, am i alone????

[Downmum]

feel helpless with pain at the moment. Pregnancy was tough as in 3rd trimester i sufferred from everything from low iron so low b.p, dizziness, carpal tunnel (hands&legs) & well practically immobile in the last month. After researching epidural made a firm decision not to have it, even went as far as making sure it was in my pregnancy notes. On the day pain was unbareble & all pain relief useless so ended up aving epidural after all. 1st inj went into wrong space, 2nd only worked for 30 mins. Change of anaethetist and third attempt finally worked. Was put onto a drip to help me dialate followed by managed delivery with forceps. Tearing so lots of stitches!!!

Did i mention i did all this alone!!! now 2 months on my back is completely non-functional, constant pain in legs& pain in buttocks. I cannot walk/stand for more than 10mins or sit for long periods :( dr keeps telling me to have paracetamol for the pain & warm baths, tells me over time it will get better. Only i dont think it will. Today i couldnt even lift my dd properly as my fingers froze, so it seems carpal tunnel hasn't gone yet!
Sorry for the long rant but needed to get it out.
Am i alone in this misery,any new mums ave similiar experience???????

Hi Downmum

Yes the old "back to normal in 8 weeks" just doesn't help. Certainly made me feel even worse.

Honestly, Downmum, you'll be back to yourself quite quickly.

Mind you, I'm not saying the physio is easy. It can be hard work but you feel the benefits each time you've been and you do feel progress quite quickly. However, even now, if I'm a bit naughty and miss out my exercises for several days, I do get a few twinges and feel sore and stiff again.

Also just wanted to let you know that I've lost about 3stone (back in my prepreg clothes) and I swim 2.5km (1.3miles, I think) about 4 times per week.

And yes I do have days where I feel "mummy tired" if DD has been up teething or such like. But other than that I honestly feel great.

You will too.

xxx

Me again, sorry thought I'd come and rant some more.....

Also wanted to mention that I had a useless 1 sided epidural. Sooooo wish I hadn't bothered - what a waste of time.

I had been in active labour for almost 40 hours and I think the hospital staff were thinking of imminent Em CS and really sold the epidural to me on the basis it would give me a rest before pushing.

DD was a bit too large and just couldn't get down so 12 hours later I had the section.

But that epidural was just false hope and promise. I also belive it was responsible for some of the pelvic issues after the birth.

I think the worst part of the birth was that once in theater, the surgeon had a feel and called in a consultant and they were discussing whether to make a final attempt at natural delivery. It was decided that "as we were already in theater and had had a spinal block" to just go for the section.

And when I say decided, I had absolutely no say and no one listend to me.

It was just such a disappointment to be fully dialated andd having DDs head pushed back up prior to being cut open.

Do not feel bad or down at all. There are so many of us who have had, shall we say, less than positive birth and post natal experiences.

It will get better and you will feel better and like your old self again (not in 8 weeks tho - more like 10 to 12 months).

Skandi,

Thank you so much for you posts and advice. When you saw your private private physio, you say you saw them twice a week - how long was each session for, how did you find them and what sort of thing roughly did they do?

I was inititally referred for pilates, which massively aggrivated the problem. I'm now starting out again with a different physio.

On good days I'm so relieved that I'm now at the functional stage. On bad days I get so upset at how my life has been turned upside down by all this.

Old friends are still surprised that I'm not better. My new mummy friends I think can't imagine how fit and active I used to be.

Downmum, swimming with DD is fabulous, as the water takes her weight as I can play with her physically in a way my back won't tolerate on dry land.

Hi KatyS36,

My DH suffers from slipped disc which was completely brought under control by these physio guys.

You need to find a physio practise who employs someone who specialises in Post natal physio. Otherwise you'll just make it worse.

Standard pilates is very very very bad. What you need is Clinical Pilates done with a post natal specialist.

Not sure where you are in the UK but I get my physio from Six Physio in London (They have about 6 branches dotted across London).

I do 2 hours per week now and its a Clinical Pilates session.

Initially I did what they called "Rehab" which were very gentle 1:1 sessions with a postnatal specialist for an hour at a time.

In the beginning I also saw someone who did "manual physio". This is where they give you massage, stretching and actupuncture to release the muscles in your body who have gone into spasm due to incorrect use (when some of your other muscles don't work properly or in synergy).

The "manual physio" would take pain away and the "rehab physio" will help keep it away.

I wont lie to you all, it has been expensive. I estimate we've spent about £2,000.

I know that sounds a lot but you don't need to continue doing the clinical pilates with your physio once you've gotten to a certain point. I have done (and therefore spent a lot more cash than perhaps necessary) but this was also to deal with the unsightly "shelf stomach" situation.

You can get much cheaper help but given the amount of pain I was in, I would actually have paid a lot more/spent more. It was just so so bad and miserable.

You do need the very gentle "rehab physio" and "manual physio" so deal with initial pain before you can even think about clinical pilates.

And never ever do the type of pilates they offer in gyms. Its actually for fit people only.

Six Physio charge between £70 to £120 per hour dependent on who you see there and what you're doing.

Once you're doing the clinical pilates classes its £25 a pop which is somewhat more doable.

All of this is available on NHS - but you do need a sympathetic GP or you'll be in my shoes with no referral.

Incidentally, the Consultant Physio I saw at Six Physio, wrote to my GP outlining my issues (and suggesting that I was wrongly denied treatment which was badly needed and I could have been left disabled as a result - also leaves the door open to make a claim against NHS for withholding treatment).

I then was able to get a referral from GP for an MRI scan so ascertain that my spine wasn't damaged (got the referral and used our private medical insurance to speed up process).

Many thanks for this skandi1.

If I was in London I'd chuck in what I'm doing now (even with new physio), and go straight to six physio.

New physio is very highly qualified manipulative therapist, who has successfully treated a couple of problems previously for me.

What you have described is the type of help I think I need (and bluntly can very fortunatly afford). I've sort of been made to feel that this level of treatment is unnecessary if that makes sense?

Fortunatly I'm now functional, but I want to be able to walk further than just to the bus stop / round a department store, and I would love to be able to ski again.

One the one hand I've very fortunate to have the time, motivation and finance to go through a program such as you have described, but its finding somewhere that will deliver such a program if that makes sense (large city, not London though). My husband would be fully supportive as well, but I've sufferred so much from the 'you'll just get better' I almost feel like I don't deserve that type of help. Does that make sense?

Thank you so much

Katy

i just wanted to say to both Katy and Downmum, every time you feel like you've lost your confidence, remember this: you gave birth to a baby! you did it, you went through all the pain, you stayed strong, and you got through the other end. my husband would tell me early on when I felt down, that really I should look at what i've achieved by giving birth, and use that strength to face the world, and basically he was saying to me, now that i've given birth, the world's my oyster!!

also think of every time you've been in the most excrutiating pain, and then you've had to push through it to do something for your baby. each time i've had to get up from just having laid down in the most agonising pain, because DS has just done a poo and i need to change him, or he's just woken up at that moment so i need to feed him, i think to myself i must be a pretty strong person to be able to do that.

i was successful in my career but for me, my priorities have changed a lot now and as i've not had the lovely 'enjoying your time with your baby' phase during maternity leave much (don't get me wrong, i love DS to bits, but what i mean is it's been hard) so now i can't really think about work.

i too had a useless epidural, well not entirely useless, it worked for 50% of the time,a nd for 50% of the time i had to manage oxytocin contractions with no pain relief whatsoever. i don't know what i would have done without my yoga breathing techniques, that's what got me though it.

i think most people understand that i'm ill right now but what i'm finding hard is that i used to be size 6-8 and now, well, i'm a lot larger and i still have a pregnant body 15 weeks on. i know the weight won't go straight away but it's hard having been so slim before. and when i see friends that i havne't seen for a while and who didn't see me in teh late stages of my pregnancy, i know they're shocked by my weight even though they don't say anything. i thought that as i'm breastfeeding id lose weight no problem. the onlyway to handle this issue is to think as i have done all along, that the weight is the least of my priorities, getting better is much more important.

I had SPD whilst pregnant with dc3 which got a bit better after having her and but nothing like normal and at times totally unmanageable, especially with 3 children under 5. I went to see GP's, NHS physio, pain management.... the list is farily endless and always resulted in "it's from pregnancy, try and manage it."

I ended up taking Diazapam, Tramadol and an anti spasmodic day in and out. Then we decided to go private, I had a MRI scan (my first!) and was told there was a small mass, but probably nothing, but it might be worth having a cat scan, but even at this stage and £500 down it was still "you will have to make the most of a bad situation" Anyway, I had the second scan and it turned out I had at some point broken my back in 2 places at the bottom, one side has healed nicely and the other has just kept making more bone, joining together facet joints and presiing on nerves. This was the "lump" on the initial scan. I am currently watiting for injections and possibly surgery.

I can't even begin to tell you how much the "live with it" "most women have babies" general get over it attitude pisses me off. My MIL said "it takes 9 months to make a baby and you should give yourself at least that long to feel like normal again." I think she is very right, sadly for me it's been more like 3 years so far but hey, I do have 3 lovely children.

I have learnt that you do have to make yourself heard, and that it is amazing ow much more you can do than you imagine. Also, say yes to any and all help and never ever play down your problems. I have a tendency to try and make the best of things. This works well at home on your own to try and rally along, but is a definite negative at the GP's. You almost have to lay it on a little thickly to get across to them it isn't a bit sore or a bit achey.

I hope you/we all feel better soon and Downmum please remember it is really very early days and I am sure things will get better for you soon.

Take care.

ps. sorry about the awful spelling and punctuation!

hi katy.
you do deserve the help and treatment. we all do.

i'm sure with research you can find a similar practise near you. just look them up and phone them and ask whether they specialise in post natal physio.

i've found NHS totally useless and downright unsupportive.

it has taught me to question issues relating to my health and that of my family which isn't a bad thing.

issue is that NHS cannot afford to run the kind of pre and post natal physio prorammes which are badly needed.

this is why you'll find the very best post natal physios are from overseas, mostly australian.

muslimah28, you sound like you've had a tough time. i read the original post by your DH and its awful how little effort was made for you postnatally. i do hope some of your pain has subsided @nd you're feeling better.

xxx

sorry spelling on stupid phone....

katy perhaps you could ring six physio on tuesday and ask whether they have a recommendation for a practise in your area.

just a thought.

downmum, if you can afford to go private while you wait for nhs app for even a few sessions, do it because it will help you and lift you.

xxx

Lovely, lovely thread, thank you so much for all the contributions.

For the first time I'm starting to geuinely feel angry with the medical profession, instead of with myself.

I had been getting to the point where I've been feeling pathetically grateful that a private physio would even see me as I'm obviously such a failure as I've been unable to 'just get better' as I was told I should / would.

And I feel like I'm not alone in being someone who had no significant health problems, and then, one pregnancy later, total wreckage.

And not the only one who has total breakdowns in front of health professionals, despite being able to hold my own very nicely in the boardroom at work.

skandi1,

hum had actually considered contacting them. feeling very pleased that brain now functioning :)

I think I'm going to stay with my current physio for a couple of weeks. I saw him when I was pregnant, and he did an absolutly fantastic job of helping me cope and providing the perfect balance of compassion and firmness. I know opinions vary, but I had the hormonal form of PGP which isn't really treatable in pregnancy, so instead he took me down a really strict management route which actually kept the pain under control.

the issues started when he was on a sabatical for a few months, coinciding with the need to pick up the pieces after I had had DD, adn I was referred to a new staff member who turned out to be nowhere near as good.

Hi Katy,

So glad to read of other people's experiences. I have had burning back pain whenever I walk for longer than a few minutes since having my DS by section over a year and a half ago. Got a referral to NHS physio, the first one was good but moved and the second one was not good, didn't listen to me and never seemed to really understand the pain and that it was not there all the time, just when I walked. I'm not seeing a chiropractor but am half expecting it not to work, which is not a good frame of mind. Probably more likely that it will take much longer to fix because it's gone on for so long. Doctors have told me to take painkillers but I have never wanted to, as a) it doesn't really help, and b) I know it's not fixing the problem.

Hope your current physio works for you.

skandi1 thanks so much for your thoughts. just wanted to say that the other thread wasn't posted by my DH, it was someone elses, but it describes exactly what i have been going through and what happened, with remarkable similarity, so the thread was just a brilliant support.

sonia, whose DH posted that thread, had her baby about 6 weeks after mine and that was the only clue that i had that the thread wasn't indeed posted by my hubby- i did actually ask him when i first read it because it was just exactly the same experience! it's a shame that that thread has died down cos i often think of sonia and her family and i wonder how they are getting on.

i also echo what pantaloons says, i too think my own ability to manage my pain is a double edged sword. i think it's why the drs haven't understood how much pain ive been in in the early days. and i think it was also why i was allowed to push for three hours in the 2nd stage of labour under oxytocin contractions (seriously strong) with absolutely no pain relief due to failed epidural. we women put ourselves down too much- when you think about what we went through, we're amazing!!

i wish i had the money to go private but unfortunately im in a "every penny counts scenario" so not an option:(

muslimah i understand what you mean about the weight. I wasnt as tiny as you more a size 10-12 before pregnancy but during it put on masses & ended up being between 18-20. Someone very cruely came to visit me at hospital day after i gave birth & said "dont eat anymore fried food now you have to get back in shape" i cant begin to explain how traumatised i felt & didnt even say anything back to this person. I was sooøo out of it because of the birth, not to mention the pain, it upset me so much that it led to me stoping to eat completely! When i came home i still could not eat properly for weeks. Lost quite a bit of weight & now im a size 14-16 id say but still a way to go to reach size 10-12. Anyway now ive just stoped caring about my weight like you muslimah im just concentrating on getting better for now.
skandi1 great that your back to your usual shape now :) keep it up p it has obviously given you your confidence back. Pantaloon thanks for the well wishes. Lookslike going private worked for both you & skandi1.

downmum
if can't afford private physio you need to literally make almost daily appointments with your gp so that they will hassle the physio people into prioritising your case.

also the weight thing. i was size 16 after birth (am 5"11) but was blamed by gp for pain issues due to weight gain during pregnancy at 6 week check up. i still think thats totally out of order as they could see on their records that my BMI was under 21 before getting pregnant.

anyway i could rant and rant about the whole thing as i was left is severe pain unable to sleep and more or less disable by NHS who just couldn't be bothered to do its job.

while i was in hospital post EmCS i was told that i would need physio by consultant who checked me before discharging me (30hrs post sectio.....) and i asked if they could sign me up. she literally laughed a very loud belly laugh and said no as there would be no point as my daughter would be at school before i would get to top of waiting list.
talk about being denied treatment....

alao Downmum do release some of your pain, do some Glute stretches. you can google to see how to do. i literally have to do twice a day or my pain comes back.

xxx

wow that sounds scarry , i wonder if the whole "you will get an appt within 2-3wks or sooner" is the general line my g.p surgery uses. Im going to ring the hospital myself on monday to see what the real story is??? Thanks skandi1 im gonna look that exercise up.

Downmum,

I've had NHS physio within a week of referral when I hurt my back in a climbing accident. it can and is possible. It may well be easy and just happen, or you may well have to push and push until you get through to the right person who can just mack it happen.

Think of it in a work context - EVERY large organisation had someone who can make things happen. In some ways its almost a game that needs to be played to track them down (it shouldn't be). I'm not medical, but I know in my organisation if the right buttons are pushed an expert can and will be summoned at 2am.

I'm sure skandi1 means well, but with what you have described I'd be very wary of just trying something off the internet. It might help, but it could just agrivate things.

Thanks all

Katy

Katy,
Your GP service must be very good. Perhaps living in London means everything is very oversubscribed hence all the waiting.

I know a lovely lady living locally and she has now waited over 2 years for postnatal physio despite daily phonecalls to her GP. She was recieving physio though her Corporate medical insurance however this stopped when she was made redundant on return from maternity leave (she was a lawyer).

I don't think there is any harm in chasing up your physio appointment, Downmum. The sooner the better and if you're able to get hold of the right person could help.

Katy, In terms of the Glute stretch, its not an exercise in any way, its a gentle stretch for essentially your bum.

It is however difficult to describe how to do in words hence google to see a picture. But here goes, you lie on your back, put 1 leg up in the air (about half way up - not all the way) and hold your thigh area with your hand almost pulling towards your body and then cross your other leg over so that the ankle rests on the thigh. This will stretch your bottom area.

And I recommended it because when you're pregnant your Glute muscle stops working (hence the pregnancy waddle!). Once you've given birth, the glutes slowly starts working again and as the muscle has atrophied (shrunk) it needs to build back up and using it (walking standing etc) can make the bum and side of the hip area very painful. Your ligamanets in that area are also tightening which adds to stiffness in the area.

The glute stretch is a little something you can do to help with stiffness just like you may have a stretch when you get out of bed in the morning. As Downmum was describing how she would experience pain walking and standing even for short periods this could help a little. Not a cureall by any means but it does make a difference.

x

Thanks Skandi.

I'm not sure how other areas work, but when you manage to say the right thing to the right dr (and then chase up with phone calls to request reception kindly retrieve the referral from the in-tray....)

And it's so ironic seeing what I'm writing, and realising I've completly failed to take this 'I want this solved' approach this time around. With my climbing accident (which was completly my own fault!) I was far more assertive, but at the same time noone expected me to 'just get better' by myself.

This thread has brought out a lot of anger for me at how badly all my care has been managed, and I think thats a good thing as I've reduced the amount I blame myself.

Thank you lovely ladies

Katy

Hi Katy

I see what you mean now.

There is something about childbirth that makes you feel like you should be hugely greatful for any care you recieve however awful. I think its the old mantra of "millions of women have given birth before you....." and therefore you are by implication not allowed to feel pain or in any way make a fuss.

I think the attitude must be drilled into us all as I keep coming across women who've had really bad experiences of poor care but made to feel like they should have been greatful for it.

And you're correct about the assertiveness. I broke my arm some years ago and was assertive about seeing the right specialist and recieving physio after. It wasn't even an issue.

It appears that we're not allowed to mention all the bad bits about birth or complain.

I do think Mumsnet is changing this. Or will in time. Whilst we're posting I'm sure many are lurking and perhaps they'll tell their friends.

I have felt at a loss over what happened and I also (wrongly) felt that I was singled out for poor treatment. It turns out others are in my boat too.

I do wish I had known about some of the issues (SPD, Diastisis, SI Joint issues etc etc) which are common after childbirth. And that being fit beforehand does not in any way protect you against any of this. Books do not really cover this.

It would have made it easier to bear and also helped me to not feel embarrassed about asking for help.

I do agree that you generally can get the treatment you need thru GPs if you're willing to do some pushing. I still don't know why it was so difficult after the birth of my DD.

Suffice to say that I managed to get the treatment needed by paying for it, the pain is more or less gone and I am fit. Mostly the bitter tears have dried too .

xxx

Skandi,

Yes, yes yes yes yes yes !!!

Every bloody pregnancy book recommends 'that walking is a excellent exercise for new mothers'. The number of books I have wanted to throw out the window.

And I'm gradually hearing of more and more women who were fit (in some cases very fit) and healthy, and either pregnancy of childbirth caused major health problems. That is never acknowledged. Its almost the opposite that if you don't return to sport at your previous level you've obviously been lazy and just let yourself go. I mean, Paula Radcliffe can still run marathons, so obviously thats possible if you try hard enough.

I love being a mum, its the best thing ever, but I always envisaged that when I got a break from DD I'd be out on my mountain bike etc.

And I really want to be able to take her skiing when she is bigger, teach her to ice skate and take her up mountains (as long as she wants to that is!) I don't want to be the mum who 'goes to the spa' whilst dad does all the fun things. (Have no objection to lazing around in spas, but its not the be all and end all).

Thanks

Katy

So know what you mean about Paula Radcliff. Amazing and nice for her that she can run marathons at 5 months pregnant and as soon as she has given birth. Little does she know that she's just really really lucky!

You will be able to take your DD skiing, skating and mountain biking! I honestly thought I wouldn't even be able to swim again and now I'm doing 2.5km about 4 times a week just like I used to. Never thought I'd go diving again but am going on hols end of next month to dive (just retaken PADI).

Just 3 months ago I thought this would be just impossible or something I'd have to work for years to do. But here I am ready to go again.

You get to a certain point in your physio/rehab/recovery where it seems that muscle memory kicks in and everything is suddenly much easier. It happened to me when DD was nearly 11 months and I got to the end of a week and realised how much I had accomplished and didn't feel sore, stiff or tired. It was all change from then on. I could push myself in the pool - really go for it.

I love being mummy too. Being so wrecked really surprised me and scared me. I wish someone could have told me in the early days that if you do you physio and follow their advice, you'll be back to your old self very soon.

Clearly I still have twinges and days where I wake up feeling stiff - like today. But I know its no different to before DD when you had a bad day after having overdone it/late night etc (had big swim last night and went waaaay to late to bed).

You'll get there sooner than you think. You must be persistent with the physio though. Every week and twice a week if you can and do the "homework" exercises every night.

xxx

Skandi,

Thank you so much, your post is so inspiring. Its so nice to start to feel like I'm not imagining all this.

Katy

well Downmum, i was telling you about fluctuations in pain and i've just had a difficult couple of days myself...its hard when i get the pain at night because then i know it's bad because i've rested,i have had a bit ofsleep so i shouldn't really be in pain. its really hard. but each time it happens i get better at being patient and waiting for the time when the pain will go away.

i was thinking,the physio will probably really help you as others have said,i do hope you get it soon. i started yesterday doing a super-gentle postnatal dvd,it's just 15 minutes of stretches and toning each day, nothing cardio vascular at all. it's erin o brien's postnatal fitness fix, i bought the double dvd set when pregnant and did her pre natal fitnessfix before.

it's such a lovely feeling, and it's really manageable, and she really encourages you,with motivational stuff that tells you she knows what its like to be pregnant and to have had a baby. i don't know whether to recommend it to you though because i don'tknow if it will be appropratiate for your conditionthough.

sorry for the dodgy space bar btw!