non-functional after childbirth, am i alone????

[Downmum]

feel helpless with pain at the moment. Pregnancy was tough as in 3rd trimester i sufferred from everything from low iron so low b.p, dizziness, carpal tunnel (hands&legs) & well practically immobile in the last month. After researching epidural made a firm decision not to have it, even went as far as making sure it was in my pregnancy notes. On the day pain was unbareble & all pain relief useless so ended up aving epidural after all. 1st inj went into wrong space, 2nd only worked for 30 mins. Change of anaethetist and third attempt finally worked. Was put onto a drip to help me dialate followed by managed delivery with forceps. Tearing so lots of stitches!!!

Did i mention i did all this alone!!! now 2 months on my back is completely non-functional, constant pain in legs& pain in buttocks. I cannot walk/stand for more than 10mins or sit for long periods :( dr keeps telling me to have paracetamol for the pain & warm baths, tells me over time it will get better. Only i dont think it will. Today i couldnt even lift my dd properly as my fingers froze, so it seems carpal tunnel hasn't gone yet!
Sorry for the long rant but needed to get it out.
Am i alone in this misery,any new mums ave similiar experience???????

I think two months is still very soon after the birth.

I still had carpal tunnel for a few months after the birth, and probably didn't feel back to normal in all aspects until about 6 months post birth.

It will get better, it will just be a gradual thing. If you continue to have worries, let your GP or HV know and I am sure they will be able to do something such as get you referred for physio, but they probably won't do so until at least 6 months after the birth.

Do you have some emotional support in RL?

thanks pioneer, at least i now know to expect this for at least another 4 months. Yes i've recently had a councelling session and im on medication. Going through a bit of a rough period as split from partner amongst other things im currently going through!!!

Sorry to hear that downmum .

Do you come on to mumsnet often?

I was quite low after the birth of my DS and I found it really helpful to be able to get on here and speak to a large group of people without fear of embarrassment or even having to leave the house!

It might not last for another 4 months, it's just that I think that GP's etc are reluctant to intervene with anything before 6 months, as there is still the chance that things could solve themselves before then IYSWIM.

We are all here if you need to talk .

I had terrible probs with my back before and after the birth of my first child, literally could not pick him up, my mil had to help me so I must have been bad that I needed her help.

Anyway I had a few sessions with a chiropractor and that did the trick, had a numb area on my thigh which resolved as well.

I was also very swollen up during pregnancy due to PET so the carpal tunnel took a good few months to go away completely.

Sorry you are going through this. Keep going back to your GP - your pain ought to be better managed even if he/she thinks over time it will improve.

thanks all really appreciate d advice. Pioneer im definitely becoming a mumnetter as hearing from u all has really helped. It may sound weird but i feel a bit relieved :)

Glad to hear you feel a bit better downmum - loads of advice on here, plus funny stories to cheer you up!

Hopefully see you on here again

Sorry to hear your having a tough time. I second Dinahrod. Get back to your GP and get onto the health visitor too and ask ask ask for more support, especially with the pain.

I had trouble with loss of sensation and holding my DD due to carple tunnel after she was born, it lasted a while but did go after 3 to 4 months.

Is this your 1st baby? Do you know any other new Mum's around where you live who you can getogether with. Sometimes your health visitor will have list's of local groups. You probably won't feel like it right now but when you do they can be a big support.

It doesn't sound wierd getting relief from Mumsnet it helps me hugely all the time and did do in the early days at home with DD.

Downmum,

You are not alone, this is horrible. this is similar to what I had, in wheelchair for SPD plus carple tunnel like wrist problems.

Its horrible as the books never mention it, its not suppost to happen, noone acknowledges it, and you're suppost to 'just get better'.

Can you go back to you GP and request a physio referral? This is what you really need. They should be able to make a realistic assessment of what has happenned and what your treatment plan should be.

I couldn't pick up my baby for the first week, but after a physio visit he manipulated my wrists enough to give me enough movement (and enough confidence). I had similar back problems to you, and again the physio really helped.

At 10 months I'm still having problems (actually been feeling really down about it today) but I am now what could be termed functional.

Take care

Katy

Katy - thanks for the physio idea, I've got a midwife visiting tomorrow to check up on my progress so I might ask her about pain management and referrals!
Dinahrod and Dotty - you guys are right my pain should be better managed by my G.P I will go back and see him if the midwife is of no use.
Dotty - yes it is my 1st making the experience all the more painful :(
Katy - could you not go back for more physio if you still having problems, is it your back or wrist or both?

Oh Downmum I'm in the same situation Ive been in lots of pain and not able to stand or sit or long at all. DS is 15 weeks old today and I spent the first 12 weeks pretty much in bed apart from getting up to look after DS. it was the only way to manage the pain.

the problem for me causing the pain was my stitches which opened up and also now it's suspected nerve pain.have you examined your stitches to see if they've healed well?

i really feel for you. i hope you can get some help, fromfamily, friends or other mums cos i don'tknow where id be without my DH and mum.

Yes, now back again. It is now being agreed that I have not managed to 'just get better' so fortunatly more active diagnosis and treatment is under way.

What I find hard is that I feel like a double failure - first that I managed to get into such a state and then I didn't manage to just get better either :(

Oh Katy - it isn't your doing, unfortunately childbirth has not turned out to be as straight forward as people make it out to be! Think positive and don't give up..... funny i'm saying this and I need to start doing some of it myself.

Muslimah - my stitches had superficial gaping around them so from 3 weeks form birth about 10 weeks I was on 2 sets of antibiotics, antiseptic spray and 2 sets of painkillers, basically have bed bound like you. I've just this week started to move about a little mostly taking dd to Dr for jabs/check up's. I wish mum could help but unfortunately she has severe health issues herself so is bed bound :(

Midwife is due to come soon so hopefully will help me figure out a way forward........

Katy don't feel like a failure for not 'just getting better'- I too was told the same thing, so many of us are. I actually think its the health professionals who are failing us when they don't take our issues seriously, when they quite plainly will not just get better. I feel frustrated and like I lost a few weeks by being told I would just get better when 3 surgical interventions later it is quite clear that I would never have just got better. So dont feel bad, it really isn't your fault!

Downmum, you're sounding more positive that's really good. The advice given to me was to take one day at a time. Also I would say, be prepared for fluctuations in your pain levels. I thought I would get better as a gradual process, getting better each day, but no, I have a few days of being OK and then the pain comes back and then it goes again. It's very hard, but you have to prepare yourself for that and look at the bigger picture,that you are getting better overall.

muslimah - your right about the fluctuations in pain, today i feel worse than ever...........
Health proffesionals always think they know better until we scream for better treatment, why cant they just listen in the first place.
So the midwife has also suggested i get a refferal for physio through g.p, the only way aparently!!!! Great god knows how long i'll have to wait for that to happen????

Downmum that's really sad, i feel for you. It WILL get better. just hold on to that thought. I also feel pretty rough just now but I know if I rest then I'll hopefully feel better by the morning.

That's strange re the referral. Over here you can self refer straight to a physio. Though they never made that clear, I just went through some bumf that I was given on discharge from hospital and discovered that. So maybe you still could go straight to a physio? I guess it does depend on each area though. If you go to your GP, don't accept the 'just give it more time' line if they try to throw that at you!

Also, try to see if you can notice any patterns to the pain. Be more aware of it and see if you can identify any triggers, it may help you to manage it.

Downmum,

A few tips for speeding the process up:

Be very clear to the GP how much pain you are in (shouldn't be too difficult). Tell them that you cannot cope. Say how this makes caring for your baby difficult. Also point out you've waited for it to go away but it hasn't.

After they have hopefully written an urgent referral wait a couple of days. Call physios to check they have the referral. If necessary just say that you wanted to check everything had gone through as you are in considereble pain and unable to cope. Ask when your appointment is likely to be. If notin a few days offer that you could come in at short notice if there was a cancellation (if this is possible for you).

If no physio appointment within an acceptable time period, return to GP. Sit there. Cry. Say how much pain you are in. Say how it affects caring for your baby. Sit there.

I hate the fact that the system makes us do this, BUT, this type of approach often does work, and there are ways around any system.

I'm very lucky as I now have private medical cover, but I have used this approach successfully in the past after hurting my back in an accident. Physio depts often do have emergency appointments, and it sounds like you really do need one.

The NCT also run a post birth support line. I haven't used that, but have used their breastfeeding line when alot of this came up for me as an aside. They were lovely and I found just being able to talk to someone (or initially bawl my eyes out whilst they listened) really helpful.

___

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Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, 9am ? 3pm.

Speaking to someone else who understands what you are going through can be a lifeline. Our helpline is run by volunteers who have had challenging experiences of pregnancy, birth and parenthood and can provide a listening ear and support for you.

Topics include early miscarriage, postnatal depression, bereavement, stillbirth, disability, behavioural problems, sleep issues, colic, health problems and pregnancy after infertility. All calls are welcome.

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Keep posting and let us know how you get on.

Katy

so i went to dr today & saw a lady dr rather than my norm dr & she was very helpful. She examined me properly, gave me stronger painkiller to tackle the pain & did the referral for physio which i made sure they faxed straightaway!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just got to make sure i get an appointment sooner than later.

thanks both for the advice i did exactly that and made sure the dr understood how much pain im in.... Should be seen by physio within 2 wks or even sooner if they have an earlier appt.

Pain doesnt really have any pattern but i have notice it is worst @ night. Muslimah im holding onto the thought it will get better

How are both doing????

Downmum,

That is fantastic, I am so pleased for you. Whenever I go to the physio, especially if its re a new problem, I always make a few notes, when it started, what makes it worse, better, etc. Also ensure you get a further appointment or know exactly how to get one. If necessary again point out how much pain you are in and how difficult it makes everything.

I've just taken DD to her swimming class which was lovely. If it gives you a sense of hope, I could only walk 10m on crutches by the end of the pregnancy and my hands were so bad I couldn't pick DD up for the first week (this changed after first physio appointment). It took 6 weeks before I could load both of us into the car successfully.

Also, from everything I understand if you are going to have a hand problem carple tunnel is the one you want. It should go away and if it doesn't it is completly fixable by simple surgery under local anaesthetic (have been directly told this by consultant hand surgeon).

Have appointment with hand/neck physio next week.

I have had in the past really excellent physio on the NHS, nut I have found you really need to push for it.

SO glad to hear your good news. I love this thread adn it has really helped me.

One other thought, I fortunatly no longer have pain at night, but I really sufferred when I was pregnant. I had a relaxation CD which I found really helped. Mine was from my hypnobirthing course but I'm sure there are others out there - your local library may have one.

Katy

Downmum that's fantastic news. It's such a relief to be taken seriously and to have a direction, that you're moving forward. I remember how relieved I felt when I finally got a gynae appointment at 8 weeks. I had gone in with all my arguments for a referral prepared, and ready to do whatever it takes to get it, but fortunately my Dr could see that it just didn't make sense for me to still be in such pain by 8 weeks and she said she would refer me without me even having to ask

Now, to get the best out of your appointment, KatyS36 is spot on. For my gynae appointment I wrote down everything that I thought would be relevant beforehand. I then got my husband to read through it to make sure I hadn't been too 'emotional'- I wanted to make the best possible use of hte appointment and include all the relevant info but nothing irrelevant. Anyway, I got to the appointment and the dr said to me 'I heard you've had a tough time' and I just burst into tears and couldn't speak for 5 minutes! So the document Id prepared was even more useful than I ever thought it could be, as my husband just took that out and handed it over...

I too am finding this thread so helpful. Although I'm going through something quite different, for me it's episiotomy problems and nerve pain, it makes it easier to see that other people go through the same thing and get through it. there was another thread I found enormously helpful, starting with the title 'midwife shrieking at extent of open episiotomy wound'- that was my support base for a while but that thread's died down now.

katy i will be definitely making notes in beforehand and taking along to the appt, muslimah like you there is a good chance i will breakdown into tears when i get there. As soon someone mentions the words "tough time" which happens quite regularly with the various amount if people i see i find myself sheading tears straightaway, glad to know im not the only one. Mind you i probably do it more often then others :(

katy swimming lessons sounds great, glad to hear you & your dd are enjoying it. I know what you mean about nhs dept's that's why im preparing myself but hopefully it wont be too much of a struggle!!! Im pleased to hear your not having pain at night hopefully that means your getting some rest & physio is going well :)

Muslimah sorry to hear about the rough time you've had but i'm glad were keeping this thread going for all our sanity & dont worry i fir one am not about to stop as like you it helps me a great deal!!! My dr suspects nerve pain aswell so it will be interesting to see what happens at this appt.

I had another thought today before all that has occurred in the last year i had a successful career, brain functioned fully, i didn't break down in tears, was confidence & v.well organised in all aspects even with a small thing as scheduling time for shopping..... Now all that has dissappeared. What is that saying "i've lost my mojo" do any of you feel like that???? I'm even thinking about whether i should even return to work as im sure all my brain cells would have died by then.

I've burst out in tears in front of my (male) physio and he's been lovely. (It's a sports physio I'm currently seeing as it's primarily a joint issue rather than a pregnancy issues IYSWIM) There have been a few bits of tears but holding it together, and one full on breakdown. He's been really sympathic when its been needed but has always treated me as an intelligent adult if that makes sense, albeit one who is having a tough time.

Downmum, I so know what you mean. I'm a highly qualified successful professional, plus I used to do a lot of sport. One thing that has been hard is how much this has thrown some of my friends, from 'are you better yet' to 'have you taken DD up any mountains in a rucksack yet'. There was generally so much shock about me being on crutches that the wheelchair remained a big secret. That has made it harder to deal with.

Got to go, DD waking up....

Katy

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear your troubles.

I very much felt totally floored after birth of DD just over a year ago.

Had issues with SI joints after birth and very bad diastisis (7 fingers) which was made worse by a partial repair undertaken during my EMCS, so that the lower part of tummy had the muscles knitted back together but the upper part didn't and therefor hang over like a shelf at the belly button(painful in the extreme as well as very unsightly and impossible to hide under any clothing).

So was in lots of pain with round pelvic pain etc etc too.

GP were useless and refused to refer me (apparently I was making it up! And the terrible tummy situation "was just one of those things you get after birth"! Argh).

Thankfully we were in a position to go private.

Have spent the last year having physio twice a week (did have a break for a few months as I didn't have anyone to look after DD while I went which delayed my recovery lots).

Physio has completely done the trick. I still attend for what you might call "maintenance classes".

I felt very down about it all and suffered so much thru pain and was unable to sleep properly for a long time as there was no comfortable position to lie in and I was unable to turn over unaided.

Getting my body to function properly has changed all that.

Before I got pregnant I was a sporty size 10 and swam lots every week and was reasonable fit. During pregnancy I swam 5 times per week and walked lots every day and felt just fine. So to be completely incapacitated after the birth was such a huge shock to me and I did feel like I was living some sort of nightmare I just couldn't wake up from.

And yes I wept a lot of bitter tears (welling up just thinking about it all) - both in private and at the physio place.

As you've already had a physio referral, I'd say you're well on your way already towards feeling tip top again.

It will take time for the physio to kick in and you will have to keep up the exercises they give you and strictly follow any advice they give you.

Honestly I'm a new woman for these past 3/4 months now that the physio has really helped not just with the SI joint issues, pelvic pain etc but also sort (more or less) the diastisis so my tummy actually looks normal.

To celebrate DH, DD and I are off on holiday next month (yes am wearing bikini but look normal now so should be ok apart from stretch marks).

Like you and KatyS36, most people/friends etc have been surprised at how I've not been out and about much and why it took me 10 months to take DD swimming for the first time (shelf tummy, need I say more....).

I know you're well on the road with getting help etc but I wanted to let you know that once you get the right help and it starts to really work, you'll be back to your old self in no time. I honestly did no believe I would ever even feel halfway normal (pain free) never mind look normal (shelf stomach again) and I am and I do.

Wishing you speedy recovery.
xxx

Sorry forgot to add, that like KatyS36 said, no one acknowledges this and we're supposed to miraculously heal by the time our babies are 8 weeks old.

Not a single book or midwife mentioned to me that this type of thing is so common.

Other friends of mine who have had children didn't say anything (perhaps they've not had any issues). I felt quite judged by some of them actually and I'm still annoyed about that but hey thats a whole other tread

It wasn't until I went to the physio (who told me that this was incredibly common and that it wasn't somehow "my fault") that I started to realise.

I also found a lot of support here on MN, mostly by lurking around on threads to see what others had to say but still very helpful to me.

Am going to stop rambling and wake DD from nap.

xxx

katy and skandi1 i totally hear about how shocked ppl are when i say i'm still recovering usually followed by "normally by 8 weeks woman recover and go back to their usual self" the amount of times i've heard that! It doesn't help either when it's coming out of the mouth of new mums, they of course did not go through the trauma i have been through. Almost makes you feel as if your making it up thats why now i've stop saying im in pain to any1.

Skandi1 thanks for the well wishes & hearing your story has given me more hope. Once physio starts i do hope i start getting back to normal like you & katy but i also know it's going to take time. Im horrified to hear your g.p didnt take any note of your situation! Its just awful and these are the people that are suppose to help/treat you after birth. Sorry to hear you had to go private, you should not have been put in that situation at all. Im sure this added to you feeling more low about yourself. Glad to hear you've almost completely recovered :) enjoy ur holiday y deserve it, im sure your shopping for it already:)

i also refuse to believe this isnt common as you said the physio guys know its common then why does it not get mentioned??? Surely mumstobe should be better informed....... If i didnt lurk in here then i would never have thought of physio etc.