born at 23 weeks.

[mumbar]

Hi mners. I'm not sure if this is the right place to post.

My cousins baby has been born early despite trying to halt labour she's been born at 23 weeks. She is breathing unaided and has a strong heartbeat. She is 15oz.

I know of babies born this early and surviving but with major disability. (Im an sn lsa)

Any mners have experience of extreme premmies they can share and how we as a family (we are a large family aunts/uncles/cousins etc) can support my cousin and his girlfriend at this time.

Sorry I have no info for you, but wow breathing unaided so soon is a really good sign imo, hope everything goes well for your cousin's baby xx

I've got everything crossed for the little one. I know the BLISS website is aimed specifically at supporting parents and families of babies born prematurely so prob worth a look. Take care all of you

Oh wow. She sounds like a real little fighter and I wish your cousin and your family all the very very best.

I can highly recommend Kangaroo Mothercare www.kangaroomothercare.com My friend had her twins at 29 weeks and she stayed with them and kept them on her 22 hours of the day (she demanded as she was their mother) and they left hospital 4 weeks later! This has proven to be amazing and helps them gain their strength and the bond.

an incubator remains a constant temperature whereas the mother's body temperature fluctuates to suit the baby. Do look into it as it has been proven to work.

All the very best
xxxxxxxxx

My daughters best friend was born at 23 weeks and a few days - don't remember now how many.

She's 7, attends mainstream school, has a few relatively minor issues and is a lovely wee girl.

Oh and she's taller than my DD who is almost a year older!!

breathing unaided at 23 weeks is remarkable, and 15oz is not a bad weight.

It's a long haul when the babies are early, mine was 29 weeks, and usually they will come home at around the due date. Between now and then is a rollercoaster (it is later too). Bliss is great and there is lots of information there.

In the meantime how can you support your cousin and his girlfriend. Lots of texts, messages of support. Don't expect replies. I found one route of communication through one person was the best way. Lots of food , go to the supermarkets shops, cook food they just need to reheat. Offer to drive your cousin and his girlfriend to the hospital especially if she had a section. She is highly likely to be discharged a long time before the baby and will want to go back in a lot. If she can't drive that's a real pain.

As and when the baby comes home do the same things, cook, shop, drive.

Get your cousins girlfriend nice thigns for her - shampoo shower gel, choclate anything that makes her feel more human.

Remind them you are there for them, keep reminding them. Tell them you are thinking about them, often, and keep telling them.

Finally is money an issue. Its often a real financial issue to have a prem as you don't have time to save, you are on mat leave much earlier than you planned, there are additional expenses going in an out of hospital. If money is an issue try to get them whatthey may need (food again, stuff for the baby when it comes home - they won't have had time).

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you all.

xxx

thankyou for all the kind words.

thankyou hildathebuilder that is wonderful advice. My auntie has had to rush back from holiday bout 1 1/2 away as most of the family are there she doesn't drive so I'm sure I can offer to drive her to the hospital to support my cousin.

I had thought about things for cousin and girlfriend as I remember after just having a ecs how much wanted to feel clean and refreshed and how much more able I felt to care for ds when I was feeling that way.

Food too - hospital usually have a room for parents don't they so tea bags mug milk etc would probably be appreciated.

We are a large family my mum is one of 7, I am one of 17 gc and this dd is the 5ggc. Im sure we could all club together a collection for help them buy clothes etc when she's big enough. We usually do a sweepstake guess the sex and weight for £1 each - winnings split between new parents and winner.

Its awful not knowing tbh. I cannot imagine how my couson and his gf are feeling as we are all just waiting hoping she continues to be strong.

Are you sure she is breathing without a ventilator? That is incredible if it is true, I've not heard of a baby so early being able to breathe unaided for any substantial amount of time due to how under-developed the lungs are.

My own babies were born at 23 weeks and are now nearly 7 months so we are still playing the waiting game with regards to disabilities but it is apparent from the way they move that all isn't entirely normal with them.

We were lucky and had no issues with brain bleeds, heart problems or eye problems but this is very rare.

Fingers crossed your cousins baby does well.

I have no advice but wanted to wish you all the best anyway. It sounds like your cousin and gf have got a lot of support which I'm sure they really need and appreciate.
Fwiw a good friend of mine who is now 24 (and completely healthy) was born at 26 weeks, when technology was obviously nowhere near as advanced as it is now.

Just spoken to my mum. My aunt has been at hospital all day and says little princess is doing really well.

Yes she is breathing completely unaided and has a strong heartbeat. Her Mum has been in hospital a week trying to hold on so had steriods for lungs etc.

Apparently she is better than could be expected but I know the risks re brain bleeds, eyes not developed etc but she has breathed unaided now for 13 hours and still going.

What an amazing little girl.

No advice, but best wishes to your family at this time. It must be very hard.

My brother was born at 26 wks, and also didn't have significant respiratory problems. My mother was told he would have Severe disabilities, and never live a normal life. He has hearing problems in one ear, but otherwise is completely healthy. Hope it all goes well for your family.

Gosh, what a little fighter - I hope she keeps doing so well.

I just wanted to add that my DD1 was born at 32 weeks (a lot later I know...) and the birth was very quick and caused a Grade 3 brain bleed. The prognosis was not very good at all...

She is going to be 4 next month, wears glasses and an eye patch but, apart from that, she has no other medical issues at all. She is now average height and weight for her age (although that has only happened in the last 6 months) and as bright and sparkly as any other little girl her age.

So even if your cousin's baby does have some drastic medical issues now - they may not be long lasting.

Oh, and another thing, I remember when I came home it was lovely that a couple of close friends came round within an hour or so. I dreaded coming home to an empty house without my baby and friends who just let me talk about her and show photos and gave me flowers or something got me through - and then I went straight back in.

If your cousin/his girlfriend do not drive, be ready to drive them in at any time.

Oh and another problem I had was that NICU is (understandably) very focussed on the baby and seemed to forget about the mum! My DP had to speak to the midwives on the maternity unit who spoke to the NICU staff - so do support your cousin in being proactive to get his girlfriend the access/support/care she needs.

Good luck to the baby.

thanksdysgu.

Im gonna arrange from me and all cousins (17 of us) to put cousin and gf a hamper together with shampoo, deodarant, towels for them both etc and found a great tiny photo album called mums brag book as well for those first precious photos.

Then when little fighter is bigger and stronger do the hamper we would normally do with all baby things. I think that this time we will set it up in the nursery with storage etc for them and definatly be on hand to babysit while they get some sleep.

This may sound awful but we have agreed although she is doing well its best to wait before buying too much baby stuff. NICU has all she needs at the mo for her.

15 hours of breathing unaided now. What a superstar.

Mumbar - how is she doing?

That is phenomenal that she is breathing unaided. I hope it continues to go well.

any updates?

she is doing very well. She is still breathing unaided and feeding well

Dr's have said that until her 'due date' any infection or illness could cause problems but hopefully as she gets stronger she'll fight off any infections.

My mums been to visit - just aunts at the mo and then in a few weeks when she's stronger we are going to visit her.

Offered cousin support but they are just in a bubble at the mo - sort of its happening but not iyswim.

Its all very positive.

Thanks for asking everyone.

Thanks for the update mumbar thats fantastic news! Shes obviously a very strong little girl xx

this might be a new record! the most premature baby to survive (23+4) has just this year celebrated her 21st birthday, maybe tell your cousin that story.

Hi mumbar,
No advise just wanted to add my well wishes for the little princess. My cousin had a baby girl who was 3 months premature but she was on a ventilator for a while. She is now 8 years old and is the brightest and healthiest young girl and has had no developmental issues at all. I remember dr's told us her survival rate was very low but she turned out to be a fighter!
keep thinking positively & if your family believes in prayers then keep them going :)
keep us posted.

i knew a 22 weeker in scotland who attended the same sn group as my dd2 (not a preemie but has cp)

he was a little fighter, too - rocky start but at 2.5yo had a few minor developmental delays and some ongoing digestive issues, but was doing really well.

fingers crossed - sending healthy growth vibes x

Oh I'm so glad to hear its going well... and the breathing bodes very well for the future.

your family have some gene pool.. I'll keep my fingers crossed for a good outcome. For what its worth one of my DS consultants told me that he would get an infection as effectively all NICU babies do, but ds was the exception which proved that rule, and 24 weeks later he's not had a sniffle.

I think that LO is a similar fighter from what you've said

Anynews on the little one Mumbar?

I hope she is doing as well as she was.
You and your family have been in my thoughts.

Best wishes x

Unaided breaking at 23wks is amazing. Hope little one continues to get stronger

Hi thanks for cheacking up. LO doing brilliantly and opened her eyes last week. Very wriggling little thing too .

Just waiting and praying she continues to develop and get stronger.

That sounds great mumbar.

My cousin's girl was born at 24+0. We are going to her 4th birthday party next week. :)

Hope she keeps going from strength to strength.