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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Posterior/back to back baby and home birth - any experiences?

157 replies

QueenOfFlamingEverything · 27/07/2010 17:31

I know I've already started one thread along these lines but I really need some reassurance. I am terrified of hospital/instrumental delivery and really really upset and worried now.

I am currently 40+5 with DC2. Have a DD already who was born at home on her due date with no problems - 12 hours established labour, 2 hours pushing (but I was not in a great position in hindsight). This baby however has been back to back at most (but not all) appointments since 28 weeks, and today was still completely posterior. Midwife said she couldn't feel the back at all, only tightly folded limbs. Head is still high and free.

Midwife tried a sweep but no joy, cervix is still long/thick/closed.

I have been doing lots of walking/kneeling/leaning forwards/rocking on birth ball for weeks now but it seems to be making no difference. I've been reading spinningbabies too, and taking it all in, and trying it all out, but no joy. I'm so worried, I feel (irrationally I know) like maybe this is what I get for having it so easy last time round.

Is home birth still a realistic prospect? Please be honest, I need all the time possible to get my head round this if not. I feel panicky and rather hopeless tbh, have spent most of the afternoon in tears.

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mamasunshine · 27/07/2010 20:22

Hi, I had a homebirth at 40+4 with back to back baby. It was a very long labour, and very painful on my back. But I managed (somehow ) and it was actually the most amazing experience, even with the back pain/exhaustion etc (previous EMCS). My dh was an absoulte godsend throughout. He was there through every contraction to rub my back with a wooden massager (vvv hard). My contractions were irregular throughout and never lasted particularly long. The closest my contractions got were 4 mins apart! It was really hard going though, my cervix was not dilating and I was made to be completely up right during contractions/walk up and down the stairs/be forced into all sorts of wacky positions etc etc. I think it took about 3 days in total ...but I loved it and would definately do it again [mad woman]!!

So i obvioulsy can't answer your q, but that was my experience. You sound like you're doing all the right things. I would try and stay focused and positive as this is very important. But try to accept that if you have to labour in hospital for any reason (?) then that's the best for you and your baby for your circumstance. I really hope you get your homebirth - STAY POSITIVE

And please let us know the outcome

mamasunshine · 27/07/2010 20:26

Can I add that I had reflexolgy to "bring on" my labour too, as I was being threatened induction pretty much after 40wks due to pregnancy induced hypertension and previous pre-eclampsia. As soon as I left the reflexologist's my contractions started Maybe a coincidence but I'd definately do that again too

EldonAve · 27/07/2010 20:30

All 3 of mine were back to back and required no intervention

You have done this before and you can do it again and at home

mololoko · 27/07/2010 20:36

dd was back to back and I had a homebirth. 'twas an on-off (mostly on!) labour for 5 days in my legs and back as well as my front. if I'd gone to hospital they would definitely have induced me. as it was, although it took forever and I was hallucinating from lack of sleep by the end, the birth itself was lovely and it was great to be at home.

I had a lot of support from my doula reassuring me it was all perfectly normal and dd was just getting herself turned round, that really helped. I'd play it by ear - you can always go to hospital if you really have to.

good luck.

QueenOfFlamingEverything · 27/07/2010 20:43

Thank you [sniff]

I just keep thinking, why won't this baby turn the heck round? And my midwife said, the pressure of the baby's head on the cervix is what triggers labour - but if the baby's head is bobbing around not engaging because its the wrong way round, what then?

I really really really hope I manage to gp into labour naturally and do this at home because I truly feel that if I end up in hospital that will be it, they'll have to cut me open, because I will just freeze up. Just thinking about it I am in floods of tears again. I don't know how to get my head round that at all.

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thisisyesterday · 27/07/2010 20:52

i had a homebirth with a posterior baby.
i didn't realise the midwife attending me didn't know he was back to back, and I supposed he would turn during labour.
he didn't.
i had a lot of back pain which was actually easier to deal with than my tummy contractions with ds1!
i found that I really wanted to be mobile and upright the entire time, which afterwards the midwife said was a really good position to be in tho i didn't know that at the time
anyway, he was born still facing the wrong way, with a very squished head after a mere 6 hours or labour! pushed for an hour and a half
he was 9lb 5 and also had a giant head which didn't help lol

but it is possible. was my best labour actually out of all 3

mololoko · 27/07/2010 21:03

i know plenty of people who've had breach babies or posterior babies and gone into labour naturally! hang on in there - baby's not quite ready to come out yet.

i spent an awful lot of time stomping up and down the stairs two at a time trying to hurry it up, but she came when she was ready, and not before (i was 40 + 5 when i went into labour, 41 + 3 when she came so plenty of time yet).

it's such an emotional time and it's horrible waiting - I really feel for you.

QueenOfFlamingEverything · 27/07/2010 21:42

The waiting is just grim I have to say. With DD I hadn't even got to the stage of feeling 'ready', never mind fed up. Just woke up on the due date in labour and hey presto - a baby!

I just want it to happen, because I can feel myself getting into a tizzy already, and I know thats not going to help. I'd love to go for reflexology but we can't afford it unfortunately.

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QueenOfFlamingEverything · 28/07/2010 09:30

Well I've spent 6 of the last 24 hours on hands and knees/draped over a birth ball, and 8 in bed on my side propped on pillows as recommended by spinningbabies.

No idea if it has worked though. Limbs seem to be more to one side than the other if that means anything?

Going to go for a looooong walk in the woods in a bit. Still very teary

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japhrimel · 28/07/2010 10:20

Have you read the stories on the Homebirth Reference site? They have BSs under all kinds of circumstances so I'm sure there must be back-to-back stories.

AFAIK, having a posterior baby doesn't rule out a homebirth in anyway. It could just make things more prolonged and possibly more painful, but personally I'd want to be at home in my comfort zone with water, etc even more in that case!

It sounds like you're doing all the right stuff, so keep doing it. If the limbs are moving round, that's positive!

lifeistooshort · 28/07/2010 11:19

QOFE my DD was back to back and labour was longer than DS but then she was my first and I suppose she had to turn. They can turn in labour so it doesn't mean no homebirth. If you can though I would try to get hold of a pair of TENS as they are really good to relieve back pain

QueenOfFlamingEverything · 28/07/2010 14:33

Well the loooong walk in the woods was nice though I'm not sure if it achieved anything.

I do have backache now but tbh that could easily be a result of too much walking/kneeling/gyrating/rocking rather than anything interesting.

I feel like I can cope with the idea of a long labour at home, what worries me more is that I might not go into labour naturally by 42 weeks - we are a long way from the nearest hospital (22 miles) and so I need to think very hard about how long I want to leave it before admitting defeat as it were. I need to look into risks etc I suppose.

Oh baby just swivel and drop

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mololoko · 28/07/2010 18:35

a walk in the woods was a very good idea! just checking in to see how you're getting on. let's hope the backache is "something interesting"

QueenOfFlamingEverything · 28/07/2010 21:59

Just got in from an evening at the festival in our nearest town, swaying my hips to some dodgy country music. The baby seemed excited by the volume anyway.

Backache was clearly nothing interesting as it has gone away now. I also have sore chest, boobs and top of bump from leaning over my sodding birth ball.

I just want my baby to be here.

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QueenOfFlamingEverything · 29/07/2010 07:33

Still here.

Been awake since 4 this morning when I started crying in bed and then got up and went for a walk so as not to wake DP up. I am utterly miserable and self-pitying and very fed up of myself.

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mamasunshine · 29/07/2010 08:26

Oh I really feel for you! You're doing all the right things, I suppose you just need to keep doing them? Maybe borrow or hire some funny dvds or something to take your mind off? Laughing is really good and you could do with some of that I'm sure. What about going for a nice swim - surely good for positioning baby, and gives you something else to do? Ru having sex too? Sperm good for softening cervix! I know prob last thing you want to do but may help?

QueenOfFlamingEverything · 29/07/2010 08:31

I have had sex and managed to enjoy it too

I did think about going swimming but it would mean Going Shopping for something to actually wear in the swimming pool which is more than I can face [wuss]

I just feel so despondent and useless and worried that DP will get tired of me being a weeping blob.

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mamasunshine · 29/07/2010 09:41

Oh good, well that's something at least ! When is your mw going to try another sweep? Re swimming costume, could you just nip into your local supermarket and but a large size that may {just!} do the job? You could pick it up on your way to the pool I'm sure your dh won't get fed up of you...and hopfully it won't be too much longer Have you had any pains/discomfort yet?

QueenOfFlamingEverything · 29/07/2010 10:19

No pains. Not a sausage.

Not due to see the midwife until next tuesday so I guess she'll have another go then. She warned me last tuesday that the hospital would expect her to book me for induction at term+14 which is a week today - she said I should come armed with my argument

I think partly I'm just worrying because I am very aware of the fact that we are faaaar from a hospital - 22 miles plus a long bumpy track that puts The Fear into anyone who isn't used to it (to the point where the post doesn't get delivered here - we have to collect it from the nearest PO a mile away). It has been a concern to the midwifery team all along that we are so rural and have poor access. So it would take an hour to transfer if it became necessary and I just keep thinking, the baby ain't getting any smaller in there, and if s/he is in a less-than-optimal position... well lets just say my confidence in my body and mind are starting to waver somewhat now.

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Billy2Rivers · 29/07/2010 21:29

I really feel for you, I'm 32 weeks and had a homebirth with my first baby which went ok and I'm beginning to worry about this baby being back to back, breach, late, huge, etc, etc. The first one was 8 & 1/2 lb.

Could you try to get an appointment with your midwife or another one sooner than tuesday to get another sweep?

Like the others say, you are doing all the right things, you've done it before, your body knows what it is doing.

If you agree with the midwives that it might be harder having your baby at home because of all the things you mention then you should make sure it is your decision to go somewhere else to have it, not theirs. If you have a birth centre maybe you could go there, and if you make the decision yourself you might feel better immediately, even if it's not what you originally planned. Tell the staff there how it is, you want a home birth style birth in their establishment. You are the boss!

It sounds like you could try driving up and down your drive all day - the bumps might do some good!

Good luck

QueenOfFlamingEverything · 29/07/2010 22:18

Unfortunately my midwife only works tuesday mornings here and is based at the hospital 22 miles away the rest of the time. She said she'd ring tomorrow to see how I am getting on so I think I might ask her if one of the community midwives could come out here to do another sweep. Tried myself in desperation but couldn't reach

Its so miserable, after having it go so smoothly the first time round, to have doubts like these set in now. I'm sure you'll be fine though - is there any indication your baby is anything other than well-behaved head-down etc? Its hard to get out of my mind that the baby is getting bigger every day ('specially with all the cake I'm scarfing) but then DD was only 6lb 14oz so not exactly huge - 8 1/2lb isn't massive either though, you've done it once so you can have confidence your body can do a not-tiny baby

If I have to go to the hospital it will certainly be on my terms, I will not have them fiddling with me more than the absolute necessary and they can stuff any protocols that I don't feel comfortable with. Its a big hospital, the busiest in the region, and from their website I can see that though they do have a midwifery suite only 40 out of nearly 3000 women gave birth on it last year. From earlier dealings with them it doesn't seem like a vey flexible or woman-centred place

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hairymelons · 29/07/2010 22:41

Don't worry about the back to back bit- as this is your 2nd baby, they'll have plenty of space to turn around once labour kicks in. Remember that most turn during labour- my SIL had her 2nd baby in a couple of hours last week. Was also B2B for weeks in the run up, engaged v late (also typical of 2nd babies) but she did lots of rocking/all fours when contractions started and she was born in no time.

You've done it before so you know you can handle the labour part- even if it takes a bit longer or is more painful you'll manage fine because you know what to do to help yourself wrt positioning etc.

So, the B2B bit isn't a problem, ok?

The overdue bit..I've seen your other thread and I think you're beyond fed up now, you seem really worried.

I had planned a homebirth last time but ended up transferring late in labour. Although I'd gone for a homebirth partly because I was scared of being in hospital/having a c section, it was fine- I was glad to be looked after over night after such a long labour actually.

It might be worth thinking again about how you could make having a hospital birth as nice as possible. It probably won't happen, but if it does you don't want to be too stressed about it. It is possible to have a perfectly lovely birth experience in hospital, especially if you are clear about what you do and don't want. Also, mention on your birth plan that the hospital environment makes you nervous and you would like help to remain relaxed and focused on your labour- apparently it is easier for MW to work with a list of fears and please don'ts than a list of requests.

I'm sure you'll get started soon and baby will arrive at home. Am planning on going for a homebirth again this time (baby is currently breech, as was DS, will prob have to go for ECV and end up with another B2B labour but I'm game!) but I also now know that it would be absolutely fine if I had to be in hospital instead.

Sorry about the rambling, I'm a bit past proper sentences at this time of night. Have LOTS of sex if you can face it, worked for me!

hairymelons · 29/07/2010 22:43

Er, took me about an hour to type that so x-post about the hospital stuff, gah.

QueenOfFlamingEverything · 30/07/2010 06:15

Thank you [weak smile]

You're right, I am really worried. That in itself is making me even more worried, as I am not one of life's worriers usually, and I am getting scared by how scared I am iyswim? I don't know why I'm not my usual calm rational self about this anymore.

Plus I'm trying not to let DP know just how worried I am because I don't want him to start worrying too. Its bad enough that I am losing all faith in myself without risking him doing the same.

And I can't stop fucking crying over everything all the time.

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mamasunshine · 30/07/2010 17:12

How are you today?

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