Birth too quick!!!!!

[Funkycherry]

Sure you're all going to think I'm mad, but I feel like my labour was too fast.

DD is just over two weeks old and and starting to go through stuff in my head.

Day of the birth; Waters broke at 5am. I knew that I could have a couple of days to wait yet, so told DH not to panic and I phoned the birth centre. By the time he got out of the shower I was in agony and nearly made him call an ambulance. He drives me to hospital with me rolling round the back seat.
I didn't think I was having contractions as there was no gap in the pain. Struggled to let them examine me but when they did, found out I was 6cm.
DH goes to move the car. By the time he comes back I'm 10cm. They say its too late for any pain relief other than G&A, but would I like to try the birthing pool? So in a get. Slump over the side of it with my eyes closed for nearly an hour and a half of pushing, during which time I wimper that I can't push and want a CS several times.

All in all, baby born in a little over 4 hours.

So what's the problem? I have a healthy baby girl and should be happy.

I know no labour goes exactly to plan, but I thought I would have a few hours to be with my DH and let it sink in that 'this is it'. I was in so much pain that much of the experience is a hazy blur. No timing contractions, no hand holding. I don't even really remember her being put on me, even though I know she was. I can't remember how that felt.

She was born 3 wks early at exactly 37wks. Maybe I just wasn't ready. (Didn't have birth plan, hadn't discussed birth with OH)

It wasn't a traumatic birth, so why do I feel so cheated?

Congratulations!

I know just what you mean.

DS1 who is now 8 was born 5 weeks early and in five hours (7 pounds 13 ounces), my waters broke and labour was progressing, I was 3cm, 45 mins later I was fully dilated and had to push.

I was in such shock I was convulsing, DH held him for over an hour as I was in total shock and shaking. I had nothing but my handbag and husband!

8 years on, I look back and think that was 'my birth experience' I think you get led in one direction all the time eg: it takes ages, hours even days and the POOF you have a super fast early baby and you feel odd.

But please don't every birth story is different and you have not failed in any way.

FWIW DS2, now 3, (8 pounds 14 ounces) was 3 weeks early and came is 7 hours (I had a full on packed bag at the ready!) still did 3 - 10 cm in 50mins, midwife told me 'I had a cervix like a Ferarri!'

I just have big early fast babies!

Well done you!

PS:

I meant to say my oldest son loves to hear the story of his birth, how quick it was, who held him first, how we had no clothes or a nappy and we had to borrow some, how Mummy had only one set of toenails painted as I had given up the night before and thought I'd paint the other foot in the morning, but I went into labour in the middle of the night. How DH noticed he had some of my sick on his shoes when he went to get me some cold bottle water from the hospital shop; lots of little things.

So you will eventually see all the good, fun, silly points. Do talk it through with DH too, we still talk about it now. It really helps.

Congratulations!! Yes it was fast and yes it was traumatic for you. There's nothing wrong with saying that. Do you have someone you can talk through the birth with to de-brief yourself? You may find it helps.

One of my ladies birthed so quickly that she went into shock for a while.

I'm glad you had a lovely healthy baby and an uncomplicated birth.

This thread has really helped me. Thanks all.

I hadn't really acknowledged how annoyed I was about the little things...
Not having a hospital bag packed.
DH not knowing where the hospital was (we had tour booked for that week.)

Just helps to know you don't all think I'm weird!

BabyGiraffes I totally agree with you about not being believed by mws. Ds is nearly 9 months and I still feel upset and angry about what happened. I was sobbing and literally begging to be allowed in to hospital just 1 hour before he was born and the midwife was so rude, telling me that I wasn't in labour and had to "get a grip" ffs!

Funkycherry I definitely recommend a debrief, I had one recently and it was so good to be told it was ok to feel the way I did and that they had failed in some areas.

Hi Funky,

well I would actually think that sounds fairly traumatic, tbh!

I think it might have sent you into shock, a little bit. I was in shock after my second birth, which was similar in a way but happened at home.

Contractions started at 6.54am, I thought it was wind but it happened every few minutes so I realised it wasn't. After about an hour it got quite bad and anyway, he was born at 10.32. So roughly the same as you, Marjee - 3 and a half hours.

I was totally, totally shocked and felt as though I had been hit by a steamroller - and I had spaces between Ctx, which helped although they were very close together from the start (7 minutes, 5 minutes then 3 minutes then one or two very quickly)

I lay there shaking as I was stitched up and really felt very bad indeed. I didn't feel I could forget it and just wanted to cry all the time despite everyone saying 'you did so well, you had no pain relief' and there was me thinking 'You wouldn't want to be me right now'.

I am still terrified of ever going through it again. And yes, feeling cheated was/is part of that, though try to bear this in mind - which helps me -

I had already had one baby, and he took 8 hours, and I had an epidural and it barely hurt at all. I felt I had cheated after that, with friends having had 30 hour labours ending in C section, etc etc

I felt I'd failed to prove I was a proper woman, a proper mother. Ridiculous really. But then I knew the second time that it had been a totally different experience and I still felt it/I wasn't good enough!

Do you see a pattern here?

Birth is something that is different for everyone. If you consider a barn full of cows, and the various things that happen to them when they give birth - interventions, problems, things getting stuck - we are just the same really. It's not predictable and it's not controllable. You get what you're given, really.

You did FINE, you really did. But you will still have this feeling of traumatisation for a little while, maybe. I feel much better now a few years on, I'll not forget it, but then I suppose it is just part of my life story.

Congratulations on your little girl, btw

TBH I remember very little of DD2 birth, woke in labour, 48 mins later she was there. Felt over odd for a while but as time passed I had less and less time to mull over it. I guess its like everything of having a baby, its nothing like you think it will be
Hope your ok

Congratulations Funkycherry.

I had 12 hours of contractions and managed to get through to waking hours before going to hospital. Contractions were 3 minutes apart. MW examined me, said I wasn't even 1cm yet and sent me home. Told me to call if the pain got unbearable or my waters broke.

As it was, the contractions died away and I just pottered round the house, got some rest and sent DH to work.

Contractions started up again 10h later, but only 30 minutes apart so I didn't think about it too much. I went to have a bath when they started and spent 90 minutes there-only 3 contractions! My waters broke in the bath. Ds was born in the bathroom 10 minutes later, delivered by dh who was still half asleep, with the mw on the phone! Ambulance arrived 10 minutes later and the mw 10 minutes after that.

We managed to wrap ds in a towel and get him on my stomach (he was attached until mw cut the cord) but I couldn't move for at least 30 minutes, I was so in shock. The after pains were excruciating, it took both the paramedics to get me off the bathroom floor.

It was completely shocking. Thank goodness there were no complications and dd was staying with my parents.

If we have a 3rd I don't know what I'll do. I'm glad I had such a quick birth but I feel we were very lucky nothing went wrong (apart from me getting an infection in my womb soon after which laid me low for 2 weeks), and I wouldn't be in a hurry to repeat the experience. What if I was on my own, or if it was just me and the children? Dd went straight to SCBU when she was born, so that 20-30 minute delay for ambulance and gettin to hospital could have been fatal in her case.

shudders

i went into labour with my first on the 15th august 2007 let the contractions build up couldnt bear the pain ne more and went to hospital they gave me a painkiller so i could get some sleep woke up at six in the mornin with slight pains by dinner i was in absolute agony on my knees screaming the place down not one midwife came to check on me luckily my partner and his mum arrived just in time they fetched a MIDWIFE AND SHE WAS SAYING she wont be that far yet with it being her first i was 9 cm dialated it was a horrible experience with my second my community midwife felt sorry for me i was bang on my due date and was huge couldnt move feet were that swollen couldnt walk so she pulled my cervix forward for me woke the next morning covered in blood went to hospital and she was born a few hours later i am now on my third at 39 weeks keep getting massive pains then nothing ive not rang the hospital to tell them as ive already had two false alarms and they look at me like im an idiot can ne one else tell me if their third baby caused braxton hicks this painful as i didnt really get them with my other two and congratulations

I'm another quick one who wasn't believed.

My first major contraction was at 5pm, by 5:20pm I was having them less than a minute apart - my midwife said "other women cope" and offered me a paracetamol. It was quite clear to me she didn't believe me... in fact I was only taken seriously when the ob/gyn heard me wailing as she was walking past the room...

At 8pm he was delivered by emcs due to the both of us going downhill fast - I do wonder if it was the shock & speed.

Two weeks on I'm in shock at how close the both of us were to losing our lives - I didn't take it all in at the time. I'm also pissed off that my house/me weren't ready - I'd only had one day of ML and had planned that week to get everything in. As it was I came home with a newborn and no milk in the fridge for a coffee.

Skihorse

How lovely though that you have had him, I remember on threads about a year ago, you know, before it happened and I was so thrilled for you when I read you were pg

I hope you manage to get past the trauma. It sounds very frightening.

Congratulations on your baby.

I always felt it a blessing mine came quickly so i didnt have endless hours of pain lol.

Fwiw i had mine in 2h 20 mins, 1hr 40, 1hr 11, and 22 mins.

Thank you GSXR1100! I never thought I'd find myself just a year later with my son.

1hr 40 mins here!

I was in shock at how fast it was. Though after when I went over it, I did recover more quickly than my other childs birth, where I had an epidural.

I did want one with this baby, but when the anaesthetist came in, I was crowning!

Congratulations!

I woke in the morning at 3am to my first contraction and had DS2 40 mins later on the bedroom floor, poor hubby! I had no huge contactions until 20 mins in then just felt the urge to push and couldn't move out of the house. I was also 37 weeks and 9 months on it is still a bit of a blur. We are planning on a 3rd but am worried that I might have it when walking around ASDA or something LOL. Also hubby works 25 mins alway so would have to call him on the first twinge.

I completely understand what you mean.

DS2 was born last Tuesday and I'm still in shock by how fast it was. I woke at 6.30 and went to the toilet, had my first contraction and then another 4 minutes later.

At 7.30 I called the hospital and they told me to stay home for another hour as I wouldn't be in established labour yet - ctx were every 2 minutes now.

Got to hospital at 8.30 and was 8cm dilated - when they told me I had a strange hysterical moment at how far on I was - couldn't stop crying (not like me at all). Got into pool and DS was born at 9.51 weighing over 11lb.

Congratulations Norky.
11lb - Ouch!

It does help to read all the other posters. MNet is fast becoming my life line!

I randomly had a nightmare about giving birth last night! It was horrible, I was screaming and begging for help.

I think when the birth is quick its hard for people to understand how scary it is. You may have to get used to insensitive comments from women who had long labours but imo it is traumatic to have a fast labour.

Aw Marjee, Hope you sleep better tonight.x.