Birth too quick!!!!!

[Funkycherry]

Sure you're all going to think I'm mad, but I feel like my labour was too fast.

DD is just over two weeks old and and starting to go through stuff in my head.

Day of the birth; Waters broke at 5am. I knew that I could have a couple of days to wait yet, so told DH not to panic and I phoned the birth centre. By the time he got out of the shower I was in agony and nearly made him call an ambulance. He drives me to hospital with me rolling round the back seat.
I didn't think I was having contractions as there was no gap in the pain. Struggled to let them examine me but when they did, found out I was 6cm.
DH goes to move the car. By the time he comes back I'm 10cm. They say its too late for any pain relief other than G&A, but would I like to try the birthing pool? So in a get. Slump over the side of it with my eyes closed for nearly an hour and a half of pushing, during which time I wimper that I can't push and want a CS several times.

All in all, baby born in a little over 4 hours.

So what's the problem? I have a healthy baby girl and should be happy.

I know no labour goes exactly to plan, but I thought I would have a few hours to be with my DH and let it sink in that 'this is it'. I was in so much pain that much of the experience is a hazy blur. No timing contractions, no hand holding. I don't even really remember her being put on me, even though I know she was. I can't remember how that felt.

She was born 3 wks early at exactly 37wks. Maybe I just wasn't ready. (Didn't have birth plan, hadn't discussed birth with OH)

It wasn't a traumatic birth, so why do I feel so cheated?

I know how you feel, my ds was born in 3hrs 45mins from the 1st twinge and I felt totally shellshocked! People drive me crazy saying how lucky I was to have such a fast labour but it was so intense and, like you I had no time for stronger pain relief than gas and air. What made it worse for me was the fact that the hospital kept telling me to stay at home so when I eventually did get there I was pushing already.
Its still very early days for you, its natural to want to process exactly what happened. Have you talked to your dh about it? He may be able to fill in some gaps. Don't feel guilty for feeling the way you do, you had planned for a completely different experience to the one you had

I think feeling the way you do is normal under the circumstances.

I was induced with dd (now 18 months) and ended up going from first twinge to her arrival torpedo style on the bed, complete with her waters an hour and a half later. I had been telling them I needed to push and effectively trying to hold her in for half an hour. They said they could see I was in a lot of pain and felt my contractions were coming too thick and fast due to the prostin. I knew different (dd is my 3rd child and I ^knew what I was feeling). They kept trying to get me to let them inject me with a muscle relaxant to calm the contractions down - because "they aren't doing anything - its just the prostin". They were back to back and full scale (I was still hooked up to the monitor and there was no break between contractions.)

They didn't move me into a labour room and I had no pain relief available to me, because I was still in the side room where they take you to induce and monitor. I was in a lot of pain and really frustrated that no-one would listen to me - right up until they came at me with the needle of relaxant and a different midwife came in and said - "let me just check" then "OMG she's fully - PUSH!". Dd was born approximately 2 minutes later!

Like you, I felt it happened too fast for me to take in (I was in labour for 3 days with ds1 and 24 hours with ds2) and I think that's the crux of it really. You are in such a lot of pain and it all happens so fast that your brain can't process it. I don't really have many clear memories of dd's birth at all and like you felt cheated for quite a while afterwards.

You have the additional shock as she arrived a lot earlier than you were expecting, so you weren't mentally prepared for labour - let alone such a dramatic one. (All mine have been roughly two weeks late.)

It does get easier though, as she gets older the birth will still matter - obviously, but will become part of a much bigger picture of all the lovely 'firsts' and experiences that you will share with your daughter.

Please don't feel bad, allow yourself to feel the way you do and to process those feelings. Then you can move forwards and enjoy your beautiful new little girl.

Congratulations by the way.

Congratulations!

Firstly, I think it's the shock of experiencing your first childbirth as well. I mean I knew childbirth would be painful but I never knew it was going to be that painful! My birth story with DS1 was very similar to yours. Got into hospital at 12.45am and was left in agony in the waiting room after being dismissed by MWs on duty that I was in a lot of pain... By the time I went into the delivery suite at 1.45am, I was 7cm and DS1 was born at 2.40am . Too late for any pain relief and I couldn't remember anything other than I was completely hazy with pain.

With DS2, I got into hospital at 6.45pm and he was born at 7.30pm! My memory of his birth was better but I don't think it was because it was less painful but because I knew what to expect. I also had gas and air (rubbish IMO, did nothing for the pain!), which only made me feel drunk afterwards... We left the hospital with DS2 at 11.45pm!

With DS2, I looked into doing a private birth at a birth centre cos I felt cheated as well of the experience with DS1 but in the end, I decided that as long as my children are healthy, the birth experience doesn't matter... I do sometimes still feel a bit cheated as a lot of my friends (especially those in countries with private healthcare as the norm...) have these lovely stories of their childbirth experiences.. I.e. The daddy bath the baby afterwards in a nursery with soft music playing blah blah blah... We had to persuade a MW to wash DS1 before we left the hospital after staying there for 3 days! But as time passes, the pain/ache softens a little... It's early days yet... Take good care of yourself, talking about it to other people will probably help as you will be surprised at how many 'bad' birth stories you will hear!

My first big contraction was at 3pm, my after birth was delivered at 3:47pm......

I know exactly how you feel. DS1 was a 4hr labour/birth. He was also a week early and I had convinced myself he would be late.

I was in total shock when I went into labour and also complete denial. My waters broke and I was in complete denial that anything was happening. Even once DS1 was in my arms I still felt like it wasn't real.

Congratulations, you will feel fine soon.

I would really recommend Birth After Thoughts service if they have one in your hospital...helped me alot to come to terms with things. Congratulations x

I was going to post something similar after DD2 was born.. two hour labour (DS 19hrs, DD1 50hrs so I was expecting a long one) and I didn't make it into the birthing pool as DH couldn't blow it up in time let alone fill it!

One of the midwives in hospital (we had to transfer in for unrelated reasons) asked if I was getting flashbacks and said it's common in such quick labours. It is a huge shock to the system to go through something that intense that quickly. I felt the exact same sense of 'quick labour + healthy baby should = blissfully happy so why do I feel like this??!'

It will pass but it's definitely worth talking the whole thing through with someone to de-brief and make sense of it all. Could your ante-natal midwife help?

Congratulations on the birth of your dd.

I felt exactly the same as you. My dc1 was born four and a half hours after the first twinge, nearly three weeks early. It was unbelieveably painful. (It was only during my second labour that I realised that pain is meant stopped between contractions - this hadn't been the case for dc1's birth.) Like others on this thread, I was also ignored in hospital by staff who hadn't bothered to check, but assumed that I couldn't be that far along as this was my firt. I only saw a midwife when I was fully dilated despite being in hospital for two hours and my husband frantically trying to find someone to help for the previous hour. Was a pretty shit experience.

My NCT teacher later commented that people who have very quick labours are often "in shock" and that was exactly how I felt.

However, in retrospect, and having heart a lot of other people's birth stories, I now feel that I was pretty lucky to have got it all over and done with in such a short time. It could have gone on for days.

I would also say, be prepared for subsequent speedy births. DC2 arrived in 4 1/2 hours from first twinge in lovely relaxed home birth, but DC3 arrived in 30 mins and was delived by my dh in the kitchen with no medical back up.

DS1 and DS2 both born a bit early - emergency at home (DS2 - 20 mins approx thankfully DH at home and v calm person and thankfully no probs). Became a bit of a local celebrity!!! DS3 was induced early - my choice and it took 26 hours and it was no worse! Everyone thought I was mad and had been so 'lucky' before.

I think it is pretty traumatic whtever happens - especially with DC1. It's not only the birth but the feeling that suddenly you are on the hook 24/7, that you'll never eat a normal meal again etc. But the birth issues will fade with time (I bet it's the main topic of conversation with baby friends etc at the mo). My advice is to leave it a bit - and do talk to someone if you need to then.

best of luck - there are loads of us on here

yes - watch out for super speedy further births!!

I would endorse everything everyone else has said on this subject.

My first labour was also quick and I was therefore lucky. I remember after the birth I could barely move, I was in shock. I got very frightened during the second stage - it was all moving too fast and I felt very out of control. Second labour was much quicker, but of course I knew by then what to expect.

I had dd1 within 4 hours of first twinge. Had a similar experience to neolara. Contractions were very close together from the start so I went to the hospital. Was examined at around 6am - was told I was only 2cm and as it was my first it could take hours before anything really happened.

Within an hour I had a huge urge to push but the midwife was very dismissive. Luckily another midwife overheard our converstion and as she was free said she would check me again. I was 10cm and pushing! DD was born after only a few pushes.

I had very mixed feelings after the birth. On one level I was pleased to have had an 'easy' time and no tears etc. but I also felt in shock. It wasn't what I had been told to expect with a first birth - she was a few days early I had contantly been told first babies are always late.

I felt very out of control of the situation.

When I became pregnant the second time I was obsessed about having another fast labour and what I would do with 2 yr old dd1 etc.

In the end I went into labour at night and had dd2 around 2 hours from first twinge! Another very fast labour but I had been expecting it this time and not as shocking.

OP I would say what you are feeling is perfectly normal.

OP - sounds very like DDs birth. 6cm without thinking I was in labour (thought I had stomach pain) and thena few hours of agony. She was born at 36 weeks and I think I felt cheated that I'd only just finished work and didn't have a few weeks to myself to swan around, pack my bag etc. I also convinced myself that all the NCT group were bonding over coffees and I'd be left out .
I had no birth plan or bag either.
Once the rest of the group had had their babies I was very glad that mine was relatively quick.
(Didn't follow the pattern of having a quicker 2nd birth though- DS was born at 35 weeks, much longer labour but contractions weren't really painful at all- just the pushing bit )

I really want another baby but I'm terrified of another fast labour, the midwives were so dismissive and spoke to me like I was an idiot when I was sobbing down the phone and begging to be allowed in. Did anyone find they got taken more seriously with their 2nd dc after a fast 1st labour?

Marjee - Yes, my community midwives took my very seriously when I said my first labour had been quick. Their whole team was on some kind of special alert to get to me (and my home birth) asap as soon as anything began to happen.

• quick 1st labour (2hrs).
• mw said 2nd would be v quick, happy for me to go with homebirth.
• and after 15 minute bba with no 2 said she was camping out at my house if I had a 3rd!

Yes definitely I was taken more seriously second time round Marjee.

I was reviewed for induction due to previous fast labour but wasn't favourable at the time.

On the way to the hospital second time round I rang the hospital. The midwife I spoke to told me they would be ready for me. Then she obviously went and read my notes because she rang us back to say not to worry too much about the speed limit and there was an ambulance available if I felt I wouldn't make it to the hospital (I nearly didn't) We pulled up at the emergency entrance, into a wheelchair, straight into the delivery room, on to the bed, a few pushes and dd2 arrived.

I went from 4 hours on dd1 to 2 hours on dd2. Wondering if I have a third what will happen.

Both DDs were born very quickly - and very early - and after the first one I do think I was in shock. In fact, it was only at the ante-natal classes prior to having DD2 ( we had not managed them for DD1!) that the mid-wife agreed and got quite vocal with DP who was telling everyone else 'how easy' I'd had it!

Waters broke with DD1 at 5am on the Sunday morning but no contractions. Hospital said to come in as I was only 32 weeks pregnant. Went in, after sorting stuff as we had not packed bag or anything, and nothing was happening. Steroids given around 6.30am - still nothing.

Moved to private room around 11am to take medication to stop contractions - only way we knew they were happening was cos monitor was picking them up, I was in no discomfort.

DD1 arrived at 12.26pm - I only felt 3 contractions and was not really sure what was happening! DD1 whisked off - blah blah blah but all perfect now at nearly 4 years of age!

DD2 arrived 18 months ago at 35 weeks. Similar story - waters went but nothing else. Only difference - from first contraction to borth was 45 minutes!

We are not planning on any more but, if we were, the consultants reckon I might get to term but the baby would arrive before we even reached the front door!

Looking back the quick birth was a shock, especially as it was so NOT what we were expecting. However, looking back, it is not something that crosses my mind now I have two gorgeous little girls running around all day!

Congratulations.

Thanks ladies, that makes me feel much better. Now I just need to persuade dh

I was the same as neolara with my second pg. I also booked a hb, and they knew they would need to get to me quickly.

As it was DS2 was only 1hr 45mins, so it was just as well.

Wow, thanks for so many replies. I feel better already

Might get OH to read this thread so he can see its not just me. Sure he thinks I had an easy time of it as it was quick.

Congratulations

My first was 4.5 hours from first waking up and asking dh for a hot water bottle to holding baby. Like you it all felt very fast. I felt out of control as there was no build up, 5 mins after waking up I was throwing up and had no break between contractions and panicking as I thought that being a first birth I would have 10 hours or so of it!

It doesn't mean any future births will be the same though. My second took 5 hours all told but was so much nicer with contractions that began as little niggles and built up as I paced the house talking to dh

Congratulations.

Had very similar experience. Just over 2.5 hours from first contraction/waking up to baby being born. The worst bit was I think that the midwives thought I was making up the pain and being overdramatic. Into hospital at 9.00 and home by 18.00 - like going to work. It was quite shell-shocking.

Congratulations!! Read through this thread because my first was a long long labour but second was only a few hours and actually quite enjoyable (am I allowed to say that in a childbirth thread??). What makes me angry is the frequency of people writing they were not being believed by midwives that the baby is about to make an appearance. With dd2 I was sent to the assessment unit waiting room and went to the desk after about 15 minutes to say that actually, the contractions were very close. My file was still 5th in line but they grudgingly agreed to assess me... to find I was 9cm . They seem to have their own criteria somehow that if you are not shouting enough you can't be in labour??