Child chats to childline

[purpleme12]

My child chats to childline
Yes she does have problems with her emotions
Is this normal that she chats to childline?
I don't think it is. She still hasn't found a way to help herself

How old is your child?

10

That's unusual. Does she have no one at home she can talk to?

it depends on what she is 'chatting' about?? if you know she is using this service, could you not get she to speak to someone from CAMHS?

I would argue that she has found a way to help herself …

In answer to your question. Im not sure. I assume they are happy to speak to any child that feels they need someone to talk to.

It's not that she doesn't talk to me about her problems.
It is that she gets in these states sometimes (and it can be about a normal thing that a parent does or says that she doesn't like) or about something else entirely for example. When this happens it's like now that she looks for something external to take her out of this feeling.
She can't bring herself down from it all you see

If she feels she wants someone to talk to then this is a good thing.
Tell her you are there and available if she wants to talk but if she prefers someone neutral then Childline is good.
Is she back at school yet? Talk to the senco and they might be able to do some therapy sessions in school.

Yes true

I guess it's because I think she has trouble with her emotions full stop. Disproportionate to what's happening.

School are useless. Even after emailing headteacher trying to explain they've not been giving her what they should, and having more promised, that hasn't materialised. She is supposed to be having ELSA sessions this term. We'll see if they live up to that promise!

I'm sure the person at the other end reads more into it than is actually the case, if that makes sense

From what I know they would be happy to chat to her, talking is a good way to deal with emotions and they do coping mechanisms as well. Better her to talk to childline than keep it bottled in or use unhealthy ways to deal with emotions.

I would just be letting her know that your available to talk if she needs but respecting her boundaries if she doesn't want to. 10 year olds are emotional little humans I wouldn't worry too much, unless it's getting in the way of her doing day to day things.

@purpleme12 if the school are useless (been there, done that with a crappy senco 🙁) then it's good she's found this way.
My daughter did get some therapy sessions via her school and as part of it we were given a sheet of various resources that we could use if we felt the need. Childline was one of the names on the list.
If she feels comfortable talking to them it's good she can 🙂

I worry about her going to high school and how she'll cope. That there won't be the support there. Because she needs it.

Are you worried they'll escalate it and call social services op? Or that she's using it improperly? Or that she won't talk to you? What's your specific worry?

My specific worry is that it's not normal to use this for the purposes that she does I guess. I guess what I'm trying to say is her reactions are disproportionate to the problem. It can sometimes be a normal thing I say or do and it explodes. She says we argue sometimes. Well what she means by that though is me not backing down on something and letting her get her own way. But she kicks off. But I don't 'argue' with her. My worry is that I think she finds things/her emotions harder than others. And that she still can't control them by herself.

Yes I think there is an element as well where I feel judged. By the childline person. And if I tell people 'my child calls childline'. Even if I say why. Because you think 'oh why's she doing that?'
And I'm pretty sure the childline person does read into it more than there is (if that makes sense)

And I guess I don't think she should be needing to chat to childline

I don't know if this makes sense to anyone

ChildLine are there for children to talk to, to get things off their chest. I have worked on the other side of one of these helplines (not childline) but a lot of it is people just venting about things in their lives. It's not a bad thing, even if your DD does talk to you, she might want an outside perspective.

It might be worth taking her to the GP if you're worried, they might be able to refer on to CAMHS.

@purpleme12 as secondaries are much bigger than primary schools there often more resources available for children that need extra help and support that you'd find in a primary. It's definitely not perfect though. Do you know where she is going to go to secondary yet? (I assume she's just starting Year 6 if she's 10). You should do all the open evenings and make a point of talking to the staff (or senco if they are there) about what they offer for situations like this.
When I was doing the open evenings for my daughter this was my priority - not whether their students get excellent GCSE grades or how they run fancy trips abroad etc.

Thank you no I don't know. It will be hard because the one in our catchment is where she can walk to and probably most of her friends will go there but from the sounds of it it doesn't have the creative arts subjects which she likes

The other ones might be better but you have to get the bus (which might be fine)

She has refused to go to school one or two days so I worry about that becoming an issue further on and you don't know which school will be best.

But I will go to all. And thank you for the suggestion I will talk to them I am a bit in the dark about the whole high school thing

Does she have a diagnosis of additional needs ? If not, I wouldn't bank on high school having the provision to offer something significant.

Sorry if this is a silly question but have you taken your DD to the GP?

@purpleme12 we actually got our referral to CAMHS though our GP rather than the school senco (like we were "meant to").
Definitely talk to your GP. CAMHS waiting lists are horribly long but the GP might be able to give suggestions of other resources you can get help from.
My daughter got some therapy sessions via a charity.

Yes they don't deal with referral for additional needs. School do.
But I can't fit her in with all the questions I need to.

I don't know

Maybe I should speak to CAMHS

I worry I won't get the message across right
And I won't explain it right about how she is
And so they won't understand

ELSA will be great. If that doesn't happen get her a counsellor - x

@purpleme12 write down exactly what you want to say to them. That way you won't forget anything.
By "them" that could be your GP, School, CAMHS or whoever.