Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional. Even qualified doctors can't diagnose over the internet, so keep that in mind when seeking or offering advice.

Child mental health

Anybody else’s dc not back in school due to mental health?

160 replies

PenOrPencil · 09/03/2021 17:29

My dd14 went for testing somewhat reluctantly yesterday, then had a complete meltdown last night. She is terrified of going back to school, not because of COVID but because of depression and anxiety. She did well during lockdown academically as she was able to withdraw from the world completely.

She has been referred to CAMHS and a counselling appointment will apparently be made within the next 2 weeks.
Up until then we are left to our own devices, but we feel absolutely helpless.

She promised to try to go to school tomorrow, but I am not particularly optimistic about that. Sad

OP posts:

BlueyDragon · 26/03/2022 14:12

I just found this thread and am taking a bit of comfort (but also a great deal of sadness) from the fact that we are not alone. DD, 15, has been in and out of school since November 2021. Suspected ASD, now depression plus anxiety, I’m kicking myself that I didn’t do something earlier.

I am at my wits’ end. She won’t even ride, which she loves. I’m taking time off work as I can’t focus. CAMHS have made a godalmighty cock-up of her case, passing her and me through 3 different areas this week whilst we are awaiting a crisis assessment.

I don’t know how much longer I can do this for. Counselling for me is weeks away and I’m exhausted.


TeenMinusTests · 26/03/2022 14:28

Good to hear your update Pen I am sorry things are moving so slowly for you. I'm sorry Bluey for what is happing with you.

6 months on from my update before.

DD quickly moved down from her Level 2 course to level 1as the L2 was too much in her anxious state. We then applied for an EHCP for her, they quickly agreed to assess and the plan was finalised in Feb.

DD is slowly but slowly improving She has an 80% attendance but is keeping up with the course. She is still anxious about lots of things but will buy and eat college food, and go a few more places out of college.

For those in the depths

  • it will get better
  • take off pressure, GCSEs can be circumnavigated
  • if you can go private to get help then do, anti depressants & therapy combined have been a game changer for DD
  • try to do self care, call in all your friends to help you, easier said than done


1jumpforward2back · 27/03/2022 21:25

PenorPencil did you apply for an EHCNA? Online schooling and more therapy than is normally available on the NHS can be included in EHCPs.

Blueydragon are the LA providing alternative education while DD cannot attend school full time? Also, if you haven’t already apply for an EHCNA - IPSEA have a model letter you can use on their website.


MackenCheese · 27/03/2022 23:50

Well here we are, and DS still has not gone back into school since the start of the academic year. The LA have put no tuition in place, despite a medical letter; just saying that they cannot get a provider. We sourced an online tuition company (not Interhigh, but similar) and they said as they, the LA have not done due diligence on them they can´t use themConfused.

Since the last time I was on here we have paid for private Ed Psych, SALT and OT reports and waiting for private Social worker assessment. Appeal against B,F and I of the EHCP has gone in via lawyer and we go to tribunal in July over lack of interim provision as well. The whole thing is costing an absolute fortune.

Thanks for all the support and advice on here. Just trying to keep DS mental health up. He came out for a family walk last weekend and had a haircut......Grin Tiny steps!


TeenPlusCat · 28/03/2022 08:01

Oh Macken so sorry to hear how much you are having to fight to get help. No help but lots of empathy Flowers


1jumpforward2back · 28/03/2022 09:47

Have you emailed the Director of Children’s Services threatening Judicial Review? If not, do that. If you have contact SOSSEN to see if they can help with a pre-action letter.


PenOrPencil · 28/03/2022 19:13

The hoops we have to jump through in order to get any help are ridiculous. My dd has basically lost a year of her life. With earlier intervention and help we could be so much further! The fact that I have to turn to mumsnet and the very, very good Facebook group “parenting mental health” is in itself tragic. I did write to the children’s commissioner, but got a blah standard response.

OP posts:

Moonface123 · 28/03/2022 19:33

Anxiety and panic attacks go hand in hand with high achievers. My son is intelligent, picks things up very quickly and has a low threshold to boredom, boredom can actually bring anxiety and panic on, now he is homeschooled and learning at his own pace he is doing much better.
Boredom and feeling trapped in a very controlled enviroment can contribute towards anxiety and panic, its not always bullying or other issues.
Cahms have advised my son to really think about the enviroment he chooses to go into the future, because not all enviroments will be suitable for him.


TeenPlusCat · 29/03/2022 08:16

Moon I think anxiety can hit children of any ability, and equally miss children of any ability.


Riley1972 · 08/04/2022 08:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?