Anybody else’s dc not back in school due to mental health?

Hope things are easier due to half term? My DS started Prozac a month ago. In terms of his anxiety he is much better, the depression took longer to lift. But he is now able to leave the house and do things such as meet up with family.
He wants to go to school and is gradually returning. He has gone in for two hours t a time, not into class, and has managed three visits last week.
The progress has been huge. At one point I thought he'd never go to school again.
I still don't know how he will reintegrate back into class, attempt homework or ever sit a test.
But he's happy. That's all I care about.
I hope Prozac works for your child too.

Just wanted to update with some positive news - DD is so so much better now. Meds seem to be working really well finally and she went back to school full time before half term. She was tired and a couple of times she wanted to come home early but she stuck it out with encouragement and is now in a much better place. Thanks for the support on here - it got me through a really difficult time.

@Muuuuuuuum my DD is on Prozac too. It took a fair few weeks before we saw a difference and the side effects (increased anxiety/appetite loss/nausea) were really tough at first. I hope it helps for you.

Good to hear Prozac has helped others. So far so good for DD - after a week on half dose we are hoping to move up to therapeutic dose after review tomorrow. Keeping everything crossed it helps her too.

@Elnetthairnet
@Hellenbach

Are your DC 'just' on Prozac or also having talking therapy of some sort?

Hoping that, if meds work for DD, we manage to help her cope with underlying cause of the anxiety not just hide the effects with drugs. But perhaps the change in outlook caused by the medication is enough to flip a switch? Not really sure how it works, just desperately hoping it does.

Muuuuuuuum NICE guidelines state medication should always be alongside therapy.

Apologies, my post isn't clear, that makes it sound like you can't have therapy on its own! What I actually meant is medication shouldn't be used on its own, and if prescribed it should be alongside therapy.

[quote Muuuuuuuum]@Elnetthairnet
@Hellenbach

Are your DC 'just' on Prozac or also having talking therapy of some sort?

Hoping that, if meds work for DD, we manage to help her cope with underlying cause of the anxiety not just hide the effects with drugs. But perhaps the change in outlook caused by the medication is enough to flip a switch? Not really sure how it works, just desperately hoping it does.[/quote]
My DS has had play therapy when he was younger, which was very effective. This time around I'd just paid over £300 for CBT to be told by the therapist that my DS wasn't engaging with her and she couldn't continue.
To be fair the psychiatrist also said he wasn't in a place where he could access talk based therapy. He was so depressed and low he couldn't voice his feelings.
The intention is to use medication to enable him to access some CBT, hopefully through Camhs this time.
Medication was the last resort for us. Luckily it's working and I can see the logic in using it in our situation.
I'd never judge anyone. It's a tough road.

@Muuuuuuuum DD had counselling/trial of CBT but didn’t find it helpful - this is probably because she didn’t like the therapist...
She’s just on Prozac atm and it has done the trick on it’s own. We paid for private child psych review though rather than wait for CAMHS though and it is expensive as she’s been seeing them monthly.

• but it is worth every penny and then some.

@Hellenbach sounds like a similar situation to my DD. CAMHS are hoping the meds will allow her to engage with therapy - right now, like your DS, she is in no place to manage talking about her feelings. Hopefully both of them will get there with support of medication.

@Muuuuuuuum yes the psychiatrist said she'd refer DS for CBT as soon as she thinks he's able to engage with it.
He's finished the first month of 20mg a day and is so much better. Our experience of CAMHs has been really positive this time around. Not sure how long we might wait for the CBT though?

Hi there, interesting to read about other people's experiences.

DD2 is 12, in Y7 and has hardly managed to go to school recently at all, from managing to get in 3 days out of 5 to not at all the week before half term. School are supposed to be setting up some kind of counselling or mentoring and we have some help with regular appointments on the phone with the county's school health service. Have her on the waiting list for a more local school as the distance to the school may be a factor, but I'm not even sure that a new school would help and it might even exacerbate the situation.

When DD2 is in school, she does well and her reports have been good. She has made friends and there is no obvious bullying problem. The issue seems limited to actually getting into school, this morning she made it to the bus stop but couldn't get on the bus as she was too anxious and upset. She is trying very hard to tackle. It all other respects she seems pretty happy, there are no other obvious signs of depression. She eats well, goes out with friends, is physically active. There are physical signs of anxiety - IBS, stomach ache, nausea but this is all centred around school.

I have emailed the school again today and she has another county school health nurse appointment tomorrow afternoon, but I don't know what else we can do other than what we are already doing, and just keep going with it. I'd be interested in particular to hear from anyone for whom this has got better and how you dealt with it!

Also she will be eventually put on the waiting list for CAHMS if the school nurse stuff doesn't help.

@HarebrightCedarmoon

We're in a similar situation with my ds (year 6) school related anxiety but no obvious cause, has a good group of friends and participates in lessons and is happy once in class. For him it's the physical anxiety of getting into class in the morning.

Things that have helped so far include a reduced timetable, phased entry into class building it up slowly with regular school nurse sessions to help him with techniques to cope with the anxious feelings. He's also recently started some private therapy as we're still on the CAMHs waiting list. We're starting to see some progress now but it's been slow going and exacerbated by the last lockdown.

Thank you, @dappledsunshine. School suggested phased return, didn't work this morning as DD2 had a bad stomach ache. Let's see tomorrow, we just have to take things day by day at the moment.

It's tough @HarebrightCedarmoon could she be taken in maybe later in the morning so she doesn't have the added pressure of getting on the bus? It really is take it day by day, if school are supportive and can help put a plan in place that works for her it will make all the difference.

Thanks @dappledsunshine. School have suggested phased return, going in later etc but that isn't working thus far. Have contacted GP again on online form (reporting both school anxiety, which they know about but not about the current escalation and not wanting to go at all, and the persistent stomach aches). She was having stomach aches in half term but she says that when she is doing something fun she is distracted and it doesn't hurt so much. I asked directly about them considering anti-depressants also. She is only 12 but very tall and slim, 5'9" and 8 and a half stone so adult-sized, if that makes any difference to their thoughts about prescribing medication!

I wonder how much of this, anxiety and stomach aches is linked to puberty and the huge growth spurt she had in the last 12-18 months- as well as the pandemic. It pretty much all started with puberty, she has always been tall but she has suddenly gone from looking her age in spite of being tall for her age, to looking as if she's in her mid-teens, without the emotional/intellectual maturity to go with that. DD1 is nearly 16, DD2 is taller and now looks as if she's in the same year.

Hey just checking in

Bad week ,2 short days only

I did speak with senco who said that at DS age that (a) emotional school
Refusal is rare (I thought it was common !) and that (b) asd is usually the driving reason

It’s been interesting shifting thinking from
My son is depressed
To
My son might have asd and this is why he can’t cope

I wish you all well
It’s been a tough week
I’m not coping so great xx

@Thisisworsethananticpated sorry to hear you've had a bad week.

I know how hard it is to do the self care thing but is there anything you can do to give yourself a break or at least some headspace?

Has SENCO suggested an ASD assessment? (Although we were told 2 year wait here at moment so sadly that probably won't offer you any speedy answers...)

ASD has been repeatedly mentioned in relation to my DD but i'm not sure it fits.
Like @dappledsunshine, I'm starting to realise I might never know the reason why, and trying to be accepting of that. Hard though, trying to fix something I just don't understand.

Really hoping next week is better for you.

I’ve had a really nice day , thanks 🙏

Yes , asd assessments this Friday

The penny is dropping
And I’m shifting from
‘Won’t ‘
To literally
‘Can’t ‘

It’s been week of learning and slot of thinking

Thanks again

DD2 really tried hard to go in today, got ready and DH drove there but she couldn't get out of the car, having a massive panic attack. Just calming down now and making herself some toast.

She had a blood test yesterday to check for coeliac and other things, GP thought it best to check.

We have a meeting with school on Monday morning (all of us), if I can get her out of the car.

Had a chat with the school student support person yesterday who phoned me to set the meeting. It actually didn't help and shocked me though that apparently her non-attendance is unauthorised at the moment! I've been very communicative on a daily basis letting the school know everything that is happening and she has had multiple GP appointments and consultations with the local NHS Trust school nurse system. Googling didn't help with my anxiety as apparently parents have been fined when their child has been school refusing. It's not the amount that would bother me but the principle of it, plus being prosecuted - WTAF?

Struggling to get my head down and do some work, and I can barely get any sleep at all at the moment. I wonder if it is time to just get a referral to CAHMS as it will be 12 weeks anyway which takes us into September.

Feel slightly better now, the school called and the absence is going to be authorised. The NHS trust school health service have been brilliant, they liaised with the school and sorted it out. And now it is sorted DD2 will be able to have some work set at home. Feels like a weight has been lifted, somewhat.

That's really good news @HarebrightCedarmoon

Hopefully she can have a bit of breathing space, it's so hit and miss with school support. I'm realising being too nice doesn't get you anywhere, seems to be a battle to get the right support in place all too often.