Tonight its all getting on top of me and i just don't know what to do.
I had a thread recently about DS4 whose 11 and his broken arm, went to consultant today it's not heeling probably needs urgent MRI scan, they've had to put him in a cast from wrist to shoulder. DH is working so much at the moment and is picking up extra shifts because we are struggling finachely.
Now tonight DS1 18 (who i have done threads on quite a bit before) Self harmed (on his hand) a couple days ago, first time in a month, which isn't his biggest gap tbf (hes gone a year before) hes prone to infection and has a large lump and its red under the cut, he needs it looking at but Ds being DS is adamant he wont get it looked at at all (read previous threads of mine, he gets very ill with infection but is a adamant refuser and we've had to get ambulances, crisis teams and police out before) I know people will say hes your son just make him trust me i cant. Im worried hes goning to start to get really ill mentally and physically and once again im stumped because i dont want to push him to mental health crisis at the same time he needs medical help. (although i did speak to his MH worker and hes got a meeting on monday)
Then theres DS2 who's 15 and has mocks coming up and needs some space. I also have DS5 9 and DS3 13 who need a bit of time, but i cant give it cause DS4 in pain and DS1 almost in crisis.
DH just got home, hence 5 mins to myself to post here so he can help and tbh he is very good but not always good in crisis.
I should know what to do by know but i dont. I cant keep all my children happy. I love them dearly but wonder if im the best thing for them sometimes.
Im sorry if this seems ranting or bad, i just needed to get it out.
Thanks for reading if you got this far.