DS15 has been suffering for the last year with anxiety and now depression. He has self harmed and had suicidal thoughts, although these were fleeting. He has been seen by an adolescent psychiatrist (we went privately through the priory) and referred for CBT. He has had 3 sessions and feels he is getting nowhere. I know that we are in this for the long haul but he is sure that this is not the thing for him.
He is very intelligent and researches everything. When he is able to speak about his feelings he is very eloquent and able to objectively describe how he is feeling and acting. When he is low or anxious though he cannot communicate at all. Most of his anxiety is social and academic. He is a real high flyer and puts immense pressure on himself. He explains that he feels like his brain is in hyper mode, he over thinks every situation and over analyses everything. He is constantly worried about friendships and finds it exhausting because he monitors everything he and his friends say or do. He says all he wants to do is switch his brain off for a while because he cannot deal with it whirling so fast.
He has lost all passion for any of his previous hobbies. He looks tired and has lost his appetite. I can see that his eyes look 'flat'. I have suffered from anxiety and depression for most of my life and I recognise that he is teetering on the big black hole of despair.
He wants to take anti d's. He knows of the side effects but maintains the possible side effects would be better than living the half life that he has at the moment. He is starting to miss a lot of school, jeopardizing all the hard work that he has previously done. He used to have plans, he so wanted to do a degree and was really driven, now he can't be bothered.
I would agree to him trying anti d's, albeit we have to first get them prescribed. DH, who has never suffered with MH problems though, is adamant that they are the slippery slope to addiction, that he will turn to them if ever his life gets tough and need them as a crutch. He maintains we should explore every other option first.
Ds admits that he now wants the quick fix. And selfishly so do I. I am exhausted with worry. It is always me that is called into school to pick him up, or talk him out of the toilets when he is having a melt down. He has very publically had meltdowns in the school playground and everyone is aware of his self harming. I am ashamed to admit that I am both humiliated and feel guilty.
We have another younger DS who struggles with a life long condition and it means that I have very little sleep, I am up every couple of hours through the night and often in hospital with him. As a family we are under so much stress I think we are all at breaking point. I also suffer from fibromyalgia, my pain is constant and not under control. I am scared that my selfishness in wanting DS's problems fixed by him taking a pill is clouding my judgement. I am exhausted with mental worry and want it all to go away.
Sorry for the essay, I guess I am just asking for any views on teenagers taking anti d's or any other solutions that we could consider.
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Child mental health
DS wants anti D's but DH very against
itwillbebetter · 08/06/2015 20:13
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