Any other full-time carers feeling isolated and missing working life?

[Pinkpug7]

Hi ,was just wondering if anyone was around to chat ,who is a carer and not working.
It gets very lonely
I've been a carer for a very long time to my adult son with autism
I miss the feeling of belonging with a career and especially at Christmas when everyone has their works do and gets dressed up .
I miss earning my own money,and frequently feel very guilty for using family money for anything for myself.
I had so many dreams ,none of them fulfilled
Feeling sad today ,and just wondering if others are in the same boat

Do you get any respite? Will he ever be able to live in supported accommodation?

So sorry your feeling that way, I followed you over from your other thread. Please don't feel guilty for spending family money, when your work and sacrifice is carrying the family.

What do you like to do for yourself? do you have any hobbies or things you would like to do if you had the time?

I can very much relate.
i have 3 Autistic children.

The older 2 are finishing college/internship and will be at home all the time in just a few weeks.

Realistically, life will only get harder and more isolated over this next chapter, is very overwhelming.

Do you have a DH/DP or family support?

@Pinkpug7

@MumofoneAloneandwell also suggested this thread which offers support too.

I just get lonely really
My Dd is now at the age I was when I had him
And her life is so different from mine
But she had a completely different upbringing from me .
I had abusive parents,and she didn't
I'm not jealous of her ..I'm so happy she's living her best life
I guess I just feel a little bit sad ,not sure why .
Yes he would meet criteria for assisted living,and i tried very hard to push that forward,but DH had to agree to essentially kick him out and he wouldn't,and ds had to go before a panel and say he would follow rules and it was what he wanted ,but it wasn't..ds point blank refused to discuss it ,and DH refused point blank to agree ,so the social workers hands were tied at this point
Brand new flat in a neighbouring town as well
My life feels so empty and I do have friends,but I try hard not to be needy,they have jobs and a social life and family ,and my life feels so empty
And trying to meet friends and new people always ends up with people feeling sorry for me ..which is no basis for a friendship
So I have two DC with diagnosis of autism,one is an adult one an older teen
Eldest was expelled from school at 11 and had only been part time up to then
Youngest school refusing from year 2 .
So I've had one full time at home nearly 20 years and one full time at home 10 years ..with two other DC in the middle at school ,doing normal milestones.
This is definitely harder now ..

Yes ,if we can get him to agree to go

Thankyou but there's less to do now they are older ,so it's like being a spare part a lot of time

Could you work from home?

Thankyou for your message,yes I'm at that stage to ,it's hard once education has finished, because I became their everything,neither have a friend,or go anywhere or do anything.. despite me trying to enroll them in ever single group / activity possible.and now they just refuse
I do have a DH ,but no other family
Do you have support and family to help

Yes ,I used to child mind I looked after other children at various points ,I'm hoping to go back to that at some point