Likely breast cancer after ultrasound- thread 3

[SpartanRunningGirl]

Welcome. Previous threads :

Thread 1
Thread 2

The original thread was started after I had a mammogram recall and was told at the ultrasound that it was likely I had breast cancer - before biopsies were taken, and before I was ready to hear that (if you are ever ready to hear that).

Two full threads later we are still sharing support, experiences, and advice. We’ve celebrated breast cancer wins and thrown virtual hugs around those who’ve needed it. (We’ve all needed it 💗)

This is a hugely kind and caring bit of Mumsnet - where we’ve all felt that awful fear waiting for scans, tests, results, or with an early and uncertain breast cancer diagnosis.

You are not alone.

This is the awful club - full of awesome women💗

@KimonoQueen that’s really great news, you must be relieved.

@JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch let us know how you get on with the oncologist.
My cancer was triple negative and I’m now having adjuvant chemo, so if you have any questions just ask. The benefit of chemo for me was quite low (only about 5% I think - I can’t really remember now!) but I decided to do whatever I could to make sure it doesn’t reoccur.
Chemo hasn’t been pleasant but it’s not as horrific as I imagined either. it’s manageable. But everyone is different and you and your team may decide it’s not for you.

Hi everyone, haven't read through all the threads yet but feel like I should join you.
I had biopsies two weeks ago so waiting for my follow up appointment

I"m 60 and single. I have a 21 year old son away at uni, good friends but little in the way of family.
I feel mostly worried at this point as to how I will manage financially if I need surgery and ongoing treatment. Im a foster carer, no child at home means no income. I had a gap last year of 5 months which ran down my savings. I do have a small pension and enough savings for three months.
My close friends know but not my son or parents who are in declining health. I will tell my brother when I know more myself but he lives 120 miles away.
Happy new year to me

Hi @Ted27 sorry to hear about your situation, that’s enormously stressful. I hated it when anyone told me not to think too far ahead, so won’t give you that advice! Some people need to plan due the worst to process what’s happening.

I can only tell you to be honest about everything with the team, who will direct you to support. Do you have a Maggie’s near you? They will help with advice on benefits etc.

Are you in rented accommodation or have a mortgage? Any critical illness cover?

Hope your appointment is soon. It’s awful waiting.

Ted27, I am so sorry you have joined us. I would not wish this on anyone. I am a step ahead of you and as others warned me the waiting for results from biopsies is a terrible place to be. Be as kind and gentle with yourself as you can and know it’s okay to rant, cry, be in shock, moments where there are glimmers of hope and everything in between. It can take time to work out what helps to give support to where you are at any given moment and if you are so stressed you cannot work or function see the GP for support and if needed an unfit for work note so you could access benefits.

I found the BreastCancer Now helpline to be kind, compassionate and very helpful. They signposted me to see my GP as I was more than struggling as the wait hit my MH. Normally I would be bombproof but the not knowing and imagined the absolute worst utterly floored me. TBH That has been far worse than anything else. I think they can also signpost if your biggest worry is how to manage financially.

Go at the speed you need to as you need to and know that here there are woman who are a few steps ahead ready to reach out a virtual hand and hold you.

@Ted27 I’m sorry you find yourself here and in this situation.
The MacMillan website has lots of useful information about managing finances whilst going through cancer treatment. It has links to various support that’s available. It’s worth having a look and even giving them a call on their free advice line.

@Ted27 sorry to see you here but it is a good place to get advice and support.
This bit is really hard when you dont know whats going on.

Lots of good advice already, hope you get your appointment soon and can get some financial support its enough to be dealing with health issues without worrying about money.

Ted, very sorry to have to welcome you here. Nothing much to add to the wise words above - scream, shout, vent, tell people - this bit is horrendous and you need whatever outlet you need.

I would ring mcmillan and / or start a MN “Money Matters” thread to understand the potential financial impact of this. I have taken some time off work and have ended up on (I forget the name) I think New Style ESA / contributions based ESA for a bit, but also tried to juggle things around so I wasn’t stressed about finances while my health went to pot. In the event I was practically ready to go back to work a week after surgery so there’s also that side of things - you don’t know what you will need or how your body will get on. I think that’s where the worry creeps in.

Mentioning that particular benefit as not everyone seems to have heard of it.

Sending a lot of love.

Thank you everyone.

I won't qualify for any benefits because of my pension. My mortgage is fortunately paid off. The pension just about covers my basic outgoings. My son will have to contribute when he's at home.
My current foster child is 12 and so while not helpless is what we like to describe as 'challenging'. If I need surgery he will need to go to respite for a few weeks. If thats the case I will just about manage.
At the moment I just feel utterly exhausted. When my fostering gets picked up for school I go back to bed for a few hours, then walk to the gym for an hour, have a Starbucks and then get some housework done in the afternoon.

Post has been today, still no letter.

@Ted27that sounds more than enough to be doing at the moment!

Do you have the nhs app? Appointments can sometimes show on there. All my hospital letters appear there before they arrive in post.

I now have the NHS app and I concur the appointments show up far sooner on the app than they do by post. I think your GP practice might be able to help you navigate loading said app to a mobile phone if you are not techie and do not have trusted techie friends you can ask to help.

One word of advanced notifications they often ping and even when your expecting a hospital notification they still come as a shock and throw you into a spiral.

If a Starbucks is helping give you one thing each day to look forward to go for it. A latte a day is my once a day caffeine indulgence as well as using it as a transitional space between hospital and home. DO what you need to when you need to and do a bit when you can and try not to beat yourself up when you cannot.

Cheers ladies!!

One week on from surgery today! I’m doing well, more so since I agreed with the breast care nurse that the PICO dressing was doing me more harm than good by buzzing loudly every few seconds and all through the night. We took that off today.

I had a therapeutic mammoplasty (essentially a reduction). Things I have found most helpful:
Cardigans, layers, because I seem to blow hot and cold and need to take stuff on and off.
Ditto for thin duvet and extra blankets
Didn’t use v-shaped pillow suggested up thread, instead made a nest of pillow on each side and two under head, plus one under knees. That kept me in one place, although I’m still longing to turn on my side.
Heart shaped cushion with ice pack pocket for the sentinel node biopsy tenderness.
Plates of fruit provided by my lovely DH - healthy and good for the morphine constipation!
Turning down visitors. I had to say no to people, I was exhausted after overdoing it on days 2 and 3.
Chocolate!
Nice music and a book when I realised I had watched way too much telly. I am a total telly addict but rewatched all of Fleabag in two days which was a bit much.
Natural deodorant company trial size pot was soothing on my underarms.

I think that’s all for now. I’ll post more if I think of anything else!

@cancerycaramelbear

Glad to hear your recovery is going well.

I think this might be the one time I wish I had a DH

When I came around from my dmx surgery, I hadn't been told about the buzzing dressings. In my woozy state I thought I had been given two purring kittens to cuddle.

Purring kittens would have been a lovely post-operative alternative therapy.

I would have loved a pair of purring kittens! Those buzzy bastards, not so much. I tried wrapping them in knickers out of desperation at one point. Didn’t help. They are supposed to be quiet. I think maybe there was a tiny leak in my dressing and they were having to work harder.

Now purring kittens is that I do have.

I have a very elderly cat who probably has dementia. Her role in my recovery is to stand between me and what I need - cuppa, remote, book, snacks. Also to shout at me to stroke her and pick her up (which I’m not allowed to do!).

Ha! I'm sure I would have been there hallucinating kittens too.

@cancerycaramelbear that sounds like very good progress. Interesting to read your list of things that helped; I hope you're continuing to heal day-by-day.

Things are ok here, 2.5 weeks post DMX. Bandages came off so I could finally have a proper shower. I had a seroma on both sides, had them drained, I reckon at least one is coming back. Not brilliant but manageable, need to see how long to give it before going in again. They got something like 500ml out last time!

Down to two paracematol a day and tbh could do without if I had to.

Loads of walking.

Still off work and going mad with it.

Started physio and sticking to the exercises because I want to get back to full movement pronto.

Met an oncologist - they're sending my boobs off for Oncotype testing. And I'll do genetic testing for BRCA etc. And I plugged my details into Predict. Basically, chemo v unlikely; we'll see about Tamoxifen. Frankly I'm likely to refuse it unless there's a good reason, statistically speaking.

I have my biopsy follow up appointment.

Friday 13th - great date for it!

Try to be as kind and gentle on yourself as you can @Ted27 .
Hoping all goes as well as it can for you. If you need to it is okay to take it all moment by moment. I keep reminding myself of my lovely dad’s mantra after I got stuck 15 foot off the ground whilst climbing a tall tree. Just move one limb at a time and go at the speed you need to go. You will get to solid ground step after step.

@triballeader

Thank you, wise words from your dad

Should I ask how you came to be stuck up a tree ?😉

IN answer to @Ted27 .Years back for a Birthday treat mum and dad took me for the day to one of those forest based adventure parks. took it into my head to scale up the branches of a big oak to watch the wildlife in the woodland. Going up was fine. made the mistake of looking down and bottled the descent and froze. my dad had to climb the tree and then encouraged me down single move by single move. I found out the hard way I am not great with heights.

I have never forgotten his advice on how to move when stuck in places you find yourself. Hoping the rest of this week rests as gently on you as it can and the staff you meet on Friday are kind and encouraging. I have oncology on Weds.

Hi ladies,
My story is a bit complicated. I’m 42, a mum of three, and I’ve been healthy all my life. Recently, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin lymphoma.

The twist is that when they did the PET scan for my lymph nodes, they also saw some activity in my left breast. This led to a referral to the breast clinic. My mammogram came back as M2 and didn’t show anything concerning, but I have very dense breasts and I was mid-cycle, so they were extremely lumpy and sore (and the mammogram itself was very painful).

The ultrasound showed that the same area looked slightly different and darker compared to the surrounding tissue, so they decided to do a biopsy. This was done on Tuesday. I was given a U3 score and reassured that it looks more like fibrosis than cancer. The lesion measured 7 mm, was wider rather than taller, and changed shape after the biopsy, which they said was reassuring.

Even so, I’m terrified. I had just started to mentally process the lymphoma, and now I’m scared this could be a second cancer. I haven’t even started treatment for the lymphoma yet (I first noticed the enlarged lymph node back in November) and they’ve told me they can’t begin treatment until they know what’s going on with my breast, as it could affect the treatment plan.

I’m feeling extremely stressed and overwhelmed by the waiting and the uncertainty. Has anyone else been through something similar? Can someone be diagnosed with two cancers at the same time?

@kayakhala I’ve no real experience to offer here but didn’t want to leave your post unanswered. It sounds like the team are being very thorough with you, which can only be a good thing. I hope it doesn’t take too long to get those results and (for your sake) hope you don’t have to stay too long on this thread. Waiting and the unknown is torture. I’m in that place just now waiting for post op pathology and next steps. Have you got any good distraction techniques in your pocket you can draw on? Mine are radio or audio books while pottering at home, art projects, rewatching much loved telly, walks with earphones in, reading with no lyrics music.

Sending strength to you and permission to feel scared and uncertain. Be kind to yourself x