Likely breast cancer after ultrasound- thread 3

[SpartanRunningGirl]

Welcome. Previous threads :

Thread 1
Thread 2

The original thread was started after I had a mammogram recall and was told at the ultrasound that it was likely I had breast cancer - before biopsies were taken, and before I was ready to hear that (if you are ever ready to hear that).

Two full threads later we are still sharing support, experiences, and advice. We’ve celebrated breast cancer wins and thrown virtual hugs around those who’ve needed it. (We’ve all needed it 💗)

This is a hugely kind and caring bit of Mumsnet - where we’ve all felt that awful fear waiting for scans, tests, results, or with an early and uncertain breast cancer diagnosis.

You are not alone.

This is the awful club - full of awesome women💗

Thank you @Firework73 !
The appointment is at 12 and I have to teach before that. The waiting and not knowing what‘s next is tough, isn’t it?
I hope you do get results on Friday.

It really is … I’m not sure I’ll get any answers as I was told on Fri I’d get an appointment to discuss treatment from the secretary , I mean I’ll be asking her for sure if it’s cancer but not sure she would know or can even tell
fingers crossed for u x

How did you get on @MidLifeWoman ?
I had my appt earlier, confirmed cancer and having surgery next Friday (lumpectomy and some lymph nodes I think- surgeon called them glands), and then probably radiotherapy and hormone blocking drugs for 5 years, but that could change depending on what they find during surgery.

I’m pleased that they’re cracking on so fast, and my boss has been fab, will need 3-4 weeks off after the op. But even though the nurse prepared me a few weeks ago it’s still a shock to have it confirmed.

Hi @dibly - much the same here! Lumpectomy and lymph nodes op in 2 weeks, and then possibly radiotherapy and/or medication afterwards. They told me 2 weeks minimum off afterwards, and work is super supportive.
It feels a bit like I have been strapped into a very scary rollercoaster.

I had my post-op meeting with consultant today. Unfortunately they found cancerous cells in one of the lymph nodes biopsied during the operation, which means chemotherapy, which I had been hoping to avoid. Seems like there is a whole battery of treatments and drugs which awaits me and I cannot plan anything for the next few months. Follow up with oncologist within the next 2 weeks (always another 2 weeks to wait each time….)

I must admit to feeling a bit dejected, but have been out for a walk in the sunshine with my partner to make the most of the weather.
Good luck to @dibly and @MidLifeWoman

Oh no, @rhubarblover , I am so sorry.

@rhubarblover . currently doing chemo pre surgery.
TBH others comments of the waiting to find out treatment options is hell. Itis a really tough one to find a way through.

It may be a case of the oncologist meetingup with the Multi Disciplinary Team which includes the surgeons looking after you, plus results from tests done to decide on the best chemo option for you. expect to need to do more tests first such as kidney function, heart and so on. I had a flory of extra short notice phone calls for these before treatment was decided. This is so they have baselines of your measurements before starting treatment again to ensure you have the best treatment option for you. It really is that bespoke.

You might find it helpful to contact the breast care nurses who cover the Breast Care Now helpline. the charity also has a supportive forum where you can ask questions including about chemotherapy. It is also well moderated and you will get encouragement tips and online support from others a bit further on in The journey.

I was beyond scared when I joined (have hospital based PTSD from family dying out over covid) plus had adverse reactions three times to initial drug ( have known drug allergies and previous adverse reactions to simple things like penicillin so please try not to panic. Nurses were very quick to react and stop infusions, give recovery drugs and call Drs turns out I was allergic to the first drug, oncologist has now sorted out alternative that does the job that I have NOT adversely reacted to)

Hang in there, remember waiting is hell, knowing what the treatment is is a lot less hellish, the first chemo can be nerve racking but if you are able to let the oncology nurses on the chemo day unit know what your fears and concerns are they really will try to give you the support and encouragement you need.

Thanks for that @triballeader . That is good to know that they were so supportive during your treatment.
I must admit I still have horrendous memories of my Mum on chemo 30 years ago, which is not good. I am guessing treatment options has moved on since then though

@rhubarblover
not only have the treatment options come on in leaps and bounds in the past thirty years they have in the past ten too. So have the supportive drug options to help offset possible chemo side effects too.

i am having neoadjunct chemo pre surgery as that gives me the very best outcome as I have one affected lymph node and a her+ tumour. Chemo post adjunct after surgery is aimed at giving you the very best outcome long term too.

Sorry have been out this evening in the freezing wind watching girls football! I’m really sorry to hear everyone s news .

Hope everyone is doing as well as they can be.
Can I have a huge moan. I have no where else to put this.
Ive had a bad week, horrible side effects from chemo, including a nasy skin rash which makes me look like Ive slow roasted myself on a beach for 12 hours. I had to have my hair shaved on Thursday.
I have lovely dear friends who just want to help and support me I love them all dearly and appreciate everything they are doing for me. But 2 in particular are becoming overwhelming.
My friend of 40 years standing is driving up from Cornwall every few weeks. Its lovely to see her but I didn't ask her to. When I dont feel well I want to be on my own, when I do feel well I want do my ironing, cut the grass, whatever - you know just everyday stuff. Instead I find myself sitting making small talk for hours and going out for endless cups of tea and cake. She left me with a pineapple, a big punnet of strawberries and yoghurts.
My other friend is local and is wanting to come round all the time. On Friday she turned up with a bag full of M&S ready meals and soup ' to tempt' me. None of which I would have chosen myself.

I live on my own and dont have much appetite. So now I have a fridge full of food, none of which I asked for, want or need, to go with the freezer and cupboard full of food I'm not eating.
Losing my hair has been a big blow to me. I look awful. I'm an overweight 60 year old with a skinhead. I look like Mrs Potato Head. It's not a good look. I dont want people telling how much I suit my headwear when I know I dont and can barely look at myself in the mirror.
I know it all comes from a place of love but its becoming overwhelming.
I did tell one of them that everyone needs to stop fussing over me. I hope they will back off a bit.
Rant over - thank you x

Oh I’m so sorry you feel like that … like u say it’s coming from a good place . Are they friends who u can say that you want to be in your own and when I want them you will call ? Hopefully they are and will respect your wishes . Nothing I’m going to say is going to take away from how u feel u look . I would be the same… out of interest what is your headwear ?
I don’t have much to tell … I did get a call from the breast care nurse in Fri after calling and leaving messages only for her to tell me not all results are back . I just want to be told either way so I can plan the next few months ! What she did say was CT was back but needed a second look. When I pushed she told me she was putting herself on the line to say they couldn’t see anything but it needs to be checked again so still feeling anxious that whatever it is has spread !!

@Firework73

thank you.
I do have a very fetching wig. Its very similar to my own style and a brilliant colour match. Ive worn it out a few times and had compliments from people who don't know. But I don't find it that comfortable after a few hours. Taking it off was a massive relief- a bit like taking your bra off.
Ive been wearing a cap day to day which is more comfortable, I just dont feel my face shape suits them.
Hope you get good news soon

Rant away @Ted27 I’m also going through chemo and also feel I look like a pudgy potato. All the wigs I tried felt wrong, I’m going to try a few more next week. I think chemo also affects my brain, so I feel very mentally flattered and lacklustre. I have some lovely friends who are taking me out for short walks and to outside cafes. It’s pouring rain here today though and to add to the mix our Internet is down.

@cancerycaramelbear

I'm getting used to the feelnof the wig. Its not uncomfortable as such, but I can feel it. It takes a bit of practice getting it in the right place. I'm not planning on wearing it every day though.
Where are you going to try wigs ? My hospital has a hairdresser that comes in. She was very supportive as she obviously understands that its not exactly our choice.
I tried on a couple of very different styles to my own which just looked ridiculous so we abandoned any thoughts of a radical restyle.
She produced a couple which were very close to my own style and was able to get the.colour matched.
So for me its worked to keep things very similar. I just look like Ive been to the hairdresser.
Its very dull here today but as long as it doesnt rain I'll go to my allotment and get some things done there.
After having my bloods done this morning.
Hope you have a good day

I went to a local wig place that was set up by a breast cancer survivor. The nhs gave me a voucher worth £200. My own hair is pretty thin and wispy, which is why the wigs don’t look like me at all. I’m going back to try on some more, but I feel like I look like a matronly 1980s primary school teacher in all of them!

Enjoy the allotment. I might try and do some art to distract me.

I had to tell my direct colleagues this week. I am a teacher and they will have to do some cover for me. Really disappointed by one colleague who did not react at all and went straight to our line manager to say they wouldn’t do any of my marking. Cheers, mate, I definitely timed this to cause maximum inconvenience to you…
Another colleague told me it’s down to stress at school and I should tell HR and I am waiting for colleague number 3 to recommend her healer to me.

@MidLifeWoman

you certainly find out who your friends are don't you.
I hope other colleagues are more supportive.

My work friends already knew and have been fabulous, thank goodness!!

Hi, looking to join the thread. Recently diagnosed with triple neg breast cancer & affected lymph nodes in arm pit. Have had 1 full chemo session but had bad reaction to next Paclitaxel & been told I need to try again before they'll consider the alternative, just worried Im getting behind if I miss the next dose too & also been told PET CT scan found cancer in lymph nodes in chest, that aren't removable when I come to surgery so chemo is the only way to treat.

Hi all - I’ve started thread 4 here: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/cancer/5525416-likely-breast-cancer-after-ultrasound-thread-4?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

i am so moved reading the posts on this thread and wish you all safe treatment as you move through this BC journey. Xx