Likely breast cancer after ultrasound- thread 3

[SpartanRunningGirl]

Welcome. Previous threads :

Thread 1
Thread 2

The original thread was started after I had a mammogram recall and was told at the ultrasound that it was likely I had breast cancer - before biopsies were taken, and before I was ready to hear that (if you are ever ready to hear that).

Two full threads later we are still sharing support, experiences, and advice. We’ve celebrated breast cancer wins and thrown virtual hugs around those who’ve needed it. (We’ve all needed it 💗)

This is a hugely kind and caring bit of Mumsnet - where we’ve all felt that awful fear waiting for scans, tests, results, or with an early and uncertain breast cancer diagnosis.

You are not alone.

This is the awful club - full of awesome women💗

I too had a lumpectomy on 18/12 and see the surgeon on 7/1. Pain went after a couple of days and I was able to cease medication. However it returned about a week ago and is absolute agony. I feel the same, like I’m in Groundhog Day with no improvement in pain or movement. Had a bad day today. I’m furious this is my life right now. I seem to go though so many emotions, fear, panic, terror, in control, right now it’s anger. Of course I’m grateful for the fabulous NHS and all that the do but I want my life back. I want to do things and travel. Christmas was a write off. Sorry if I sound like a spoilt child. I know many on here have it so much worse. Just weary.

Thirdtimeunlucky2025, Pretty sure you are allowed to say you are fed up with cancer. So sorry to read about your husband, that must make the waiting for your latest results extra hard. Hope all goes as well as it can for you and that everything is treatable.

Allen, do what you can to roll with the bad days. Whilst I am still waiting to know after a crap Christmas of waiting to be seen and then find out exactly what type it is and a treatment plan after I veer between fed up, very angry, sobbing and no concentration. I am fairly bombproof but this has floored me, you are allowed to feel how you feel. I hope the nerve pain settles down for you and if not let the breast care nurses know as from my short experience with them they will do all they can to make your life a slightly nicer place to be.

I'm with you almost exactly tribal. Here with you, for what that's worth.

I'm with you almost exactly tribal. Here with you, for what that's worth.

I'm with you almost exactly tribal. Here with you, for what that's worth.

I'm with you almost exactly tribal. Here with you, for what that's worth.

I'm with you almost exactly tribal. Here with you, for what that's worth.

@Poptart glad to hear you are home, why did they keep you in hospital so long?
Hope that you are now fully recovered.

@triballeader yes to all those emotions sometimes all in one hour. Its shit.

Infection markers were high, temperature high, and high heart resting rate.
They wanted to keep me on IV antibiotics and monitor me.

@Thirdtimeunlucky2025 that all sound very hard. Thinking of you x

@alseb I know how you feel, I think it’s very normal and a lot of us experience those changing emotions.

I was doing quite well until this infection floored me. I was halfway through my chemo and feeling fairly positive. I have my first Paclitaxel on Friday and I just feel so physically and emotionally drained and not up for it al all. I just want to howl at the world.
You’re not alone x

@poptart yes its not really set you up for more has it, havent they suggested giving you a bit more time to recover properly?

Its an endurance test for us all, I am sick of being so out of control so i cant imagine being stuck in hospital, I am a rebel so I might have tried escaping.

The lack of control is so hard and so is the emotional roller coaster. I’ve been mostly angry this afternoon, mostly just want to scream and shout about everything being a big pile of steaming poo. I might have to punch some cushions.

Sending thought to you all, glad to have you here.

I was supposed to have my op next week - 13 Jan. It was delayed from 16 Dec after pre op meeting

They've cancelled it again today. And given me a new date of 5th Feb. I'm given to understand theres no theatre availability!

31 days from decision to treat standard is bloody pointless.

I'm so fed up.

Oh my god, I would be raging. I’m so sorry to read this.

Thanks @JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch

Im going to contact PALS in the morning. I doubt if theres anything they can do but its the squeaky wheel that gets the oil...

How awful for you. One cancellation is nerve wracking another has to be something else. I do hope you are quickly rescheduled and that your wait is soon over.

This morning tried to get up to do things then the wibble hit. It has been a bad one got in. The shower saw all the bruising from the punch biopsies and could not stop crying and wondering what the post surgery would be like. NOT researching that it will scare me silly.

Decided I have not the headspace to function beyond a mere surface level and cancelled more work, online ZOOMs and anything that requires me to up and fully functioning. It’s only part time freelance to fit in around eldest adult DS with complex needs and youngest DD who is still under ortho-oncology for benign bone tumours but thank all that is good I have that option open right now. Younger DD has been incredibly supportive as she says she has the torn T-shirt and can advise on food for chemo taste changes as has eldest DD ( specilist burns nurse who also deal with complex trauma and plastics) So grateful to have them.

Has anyone suggestions of things that they have found helpful to do when the wibble well and truly hits you hard? Trying to find something that could be an alternative to crying.

I’ve been there with all the crying. I seem to have reached a period of feeling a bit more numb and flat as I wait for the surgery. However I have a psychologist appointment tomorrow and suspect I’ll sob my heart out in there.

I have been doing these art meditations. I can’t do any ‘normal’ meditations as I just don’t have the patience but I like these to calm my mind and give me a focus in the now. https://youtube.com/@moodbodystudio?si=jw_Jwvb1IDlg_TtV No talent needed!

Functioning at a mere surface level is FINE. I got signed off work as I wasn’t coping and other conditions had flared. I am now glad that I did that although it felt like giving in at the time. Hope you feel better soon.

Another one with a psych appt incoming this afternoon @cancerycaramelbear , bracing myself.

Tribal - I had the same, re biopsies. You know what, two weeks on and they are tiny dots on my skin. I am taking some comfort in my body's ability to heal and recover.

Other things to do - tbh, and I am no expert, I am just leaning in to whatever gives me comfort. Work sometimes (my work environment is very loud, fun and dynamic). Raging to friends I can be open with / who have been through it. Music so loud I can't think. I am also doing "prehabilitation" - weightlifting etc to make recovery faster, hopefully - so if I can't think of anything else to do I fling some weights around. Sending love.

@cancerycaramelbear Crying is all part of it, raging, spiralling, panicking are on the list too.

Reading your post it sounds as though you’ve been doing a lot of ‘coping’ for a long time

I was a bit stunned by me post diagnosis and early stages of treatment before full plan evolved. I fell to bits. Small, messy, ugly little bits. Me, the coper, the battler on, the sleeves rolled up get on with it me.

What helped me was giving myself permission to find it all complete shit and also to address some unresolved previous trauma. Supported by a v caring BCN
I was able to access psychological support which was invaluable.

I spent a lot of time outside, walking and gardening, leaned on immediate family and close friends. I ditched a couple of toxic people. And I had my eyebrows micro bladed before chemotherapy. Listened to audiobooks during the swirling, sleepless nights.

Be kind, generous and forgiving to yourself. Just as you would be to a friend or family member x

Sorry @cancerycaramelbear and @triballeader Above post aimed at Tribal

@triballeader agree with @GrannyGoggles crying is just what you have to do some days.

I am just recovering from my third chemo session, and everyone on here told me at the beginning that the first waiting part is really hard and it is.
Also appointments foisted on you for scans, test results etc it drives you bonkers.

I cry a lot sometimes and sometimes am just numb. Find things to distract you that you enjoy, reading, music, eating while you can taste it!

And rant away here, we all know how it feels. Hope you get your plan of action soon.