My dad has just had a colonoscopy and it looks like he has bowel cancer

[pinkchampagne1]

He has had symptoms for a while (mucus and rectal bleeding) but has put off getting checked out until recently. His FIT test was very high so he was fact tracked for a colonoscopy which he had today. Just phoned my mum and it looks like they have found a large growth which looks to be cancer. My dad is 83 and I adore him so I am so upset. 😢

My dad also ignored symptoms for a long time, probably two years but it’s unclear. He’s now 5 years cancer free. It’s such an awful worry but until you know what stage it is at you don’t know what you are dealing with so try not to assume it’s a death sentence.

Its horrible I know but there are so many positive stories try not to think the worst 💐

so pleased to hear your dad is now clear of cancer - that’s great news. 🙂

My dad still looks so well so it is hard to get my head around the fact he has something so serious. He has just been struggling with rectal bleeding and passing mucus daily. I kept asking him to get it checked but he put it off for ages. It was my mum who made the appointment for him in the end, and thank goodness she did.
I guess we will soon have the biopsy results and dates for scans etc when we might know a bit more.

It's very natural to be scared.

Like many, I found that the period between the initial investigation / diagnosis and getting a firm plan in place the worst. The 'not knowing' is crippling, but once you know what the next steps are it seems to get easier to cope with. From my experience, when they have done all the relevant tests - scans, biopsies etc and have the results back there will be a meeting of the MDT (multi disciplinary team) consisting of surgeons, oncologists etc to review them and agree the best course of treatment. This is often surgery, but can sometimes be chemotherapy or radiotherapy to shrink the tumour first depending on where it is, or if surgery is not possible. In the meantime, your father may well be contacted by a CNS (Cancer Nurse Specialist) who can answer questions and will be a primary source of contact for him.

In my experience, whatever people say about the NHS, once cancer is suspected or confirmed, they move very quickly as a team to get the person treated and I can't fault my treatment.

I agree that the ‘not knowing’ is really tough and I just want to know exactly what we’re dealing with and to find out what the treatment plan is.
It still almost doesn’t feel real at times

I am pleased that my mum made that doctor’s appointment for him which lead to the investigations, as my dad would have probably left it and left it. At least it has been found and hopefully they can do something to treat it. I have to look at the positives.

This first bit is really hard while they are doing tests. When your Dad has seen a consultant you'll have the treatment plan. If he needs to have chemo before surgery it's doable. It's not as horrible as some other types of chemo. Thinking of you.

That’s good to know that the chemotherapy for bowel cancer isn’t as bad as some other types.
It is tough not yet knowing what my dad may be facing. I hope we don’t have to wait too long.

Hi OP. Once you get the treatment plan in place you start to feel calmer. Just be there for your dad. Sending love x

My dad has his CT scan tomorrow morning. He has been contacted by various cancer specialists so I think it is hitting home that this is cancer. I think he might have been a little in denial before.
My mum keeps getting tearful and I think she is thinking the worst.

Hopefully they will have a good team and you’ll feel supported.
Hope tomorrow goes ok. Waiting is hard. Do what feels right to help you at this time. Take care. Keep posting if helpful. 💐

Thank you. The waiting is hard and I am trying not to let my mind run away with worse case scenarios at the moment. I am actually finding it difficult to process it all if I am honest

Awake once again with all sorts running through my mind. My IBS has flared up which isn’t helping. 😣
My dad has always been so well and I just can’t take it all in.

Eventually managed a couple of hours broken sleep. I did something I know I shouldn’t have done and googled bowel cancer in the elderly which frightened me.

We lost a friend to stomach cancer last year and the CT scan picked up that it had spread to his liver so I feel really anxious about my dad’s scan.

You won’t know anything until you have the scan results, do you know when that will be? They will usually discuss at a meeting with various consultants first so you could be waiting a couple of weeks, so although it’s natural to think the worst you have to try and get through this time in one piece love. Know that you’re not alone and many of us have experienced all this and understand how terrible it is for you.

Sorry your IBS is flaring too, I remember mine kicking off all the time when I was going through this. I used to water the garden in the evening and it was 10 minutes of peace and normality that somehow helped. Is there anything you could do to have some relaxation time each day? Something just to focus on and stop your brain working overtime.

My dad ignored symptoms to the point he collapsed in agony and was rushed to hospital for life saving surgery. The tumor had burst through his bowel. Had to have a lot removed and it was touch and go for a month following sepsis...but he recovered and is in fine health 6 years later with no cancer. Hope your Dad recovers x

Try not to worry about things that haven’t happened yet , bowel cancer is very much treatable and the scan may show it is isolated to just his bowel

I recommend the bowel cancer UK website especially the forum.

Thank you all. I know I shouldn’t worry about it all too much until I have more information but at night my mind goes into overdrive.
I keep trying to reassure my parents as best I can but my mum is very worried because he didn’t go to the doctor earlier, and she keeps getting teary. He is on medication for bladder retention and put the mucus, wind and bloating down to side effects from the tablets. It was only when he had a lot of bleeding from his bottom that my mum forced him to get it checked out.
The doctor originally thought he had internal piles which reassured my parents, but he had to do a FIT test which came back very high and triggered the colonoscopy.
I think my mum was still hopeful it wouldn’t be anything sinister as the specialist couldn’t feel anything when he did the stomach and rectal examination. Plus there were no obvious signs of anemia. It all came as a big shock to her and to my son who was convinced it was just piles.

My 22 year old son keeps asking me questions and I don’t have the answers for him. I can see it is all really getting him down and worrying him massively. I just feel really overloaded right now.

I’m sorry for the loss of your friend. That must be very difficult to have such a recent loss.. Stomach cancer is very different to other cancers though and even then you need all the facts. The positives are that your dad feels well and although he has symptoms feeling well will stand him in good stead for treatment.

The not knowing is really difficult for you all. You sound like you’re trying to be strong for everyone which might add to your stress. At the moment you don’t have answers so it’s sitting tight and getting on as best you can.

It is very natural to feel how you do though - worried, anxious etc. There are a lot of reassuring accounts here to give hope but until you know the facts you will probably see saw between optimism and doom.

Some people are better than others at being able to focus and shut out the what ifs (I’m not one of these!!! ). Try not ignore how you’re feeling but know you are doing everything you can do. You care deeply and are supporting yourself, your parents and or son. Do you have a DH/DP or good friend who you can allow some TLC. Keep up any exercise and try get out for a walk each day.

It is a case of a day (or moment) at a time. Good advice from @megacatabout finding ways to switch off over thinking. Instead of googling in the middle of the night try a mediation - calm app is good and I think bbc sounds has sleep stuff or listen to the radio. Just try and be kind to yourself and rest when you can.

Thank you for your advice.
I do have friends and my DH for support. I haven’t told that many friends just yet though. I have a good friend round for dinner tomorrow evening who is also a nurse, so will have a chat to her.

I work in a pre-school so that is a huge distraction during the day.
I said to my DH that it feels my head really isn’t processing it all right now, but then I guess I don’t yet really know exactly what it has to process, other than that a mass has been found in Dad’s bowel. 😔

I will check out the bowel cancer U.K. website so thank you for that suggestion.

My sister has just got back from a week in Wales. She did offer to come home when we got the news but I told her there wasn’t much she could do so to finish her holiday. I am
glad she is back now though.

Thats great you’ve got DH for support and a friend coming over. I hope you have a nice chat and can relax a bit too.

Your job sounds full on but rewarding too. Hopefully it’s a good distraction.

I think you are processing what’s going on but it’s just you’re not sure exactly what. It’s just hard. Definitely rely on trusted sources if you’re googling and if you can, accept it’s just a difficult time and you will have all these uncertain and weird emotions. It’s a roller coaster. Sometimes in these moments there are some really good moments as it highlights what’s important - like family and good friends. I hope you can manage a good night sleep.

I did sleep a lot better last night thankfully. I was tired all day yesterday.

We had a gathering round my boss’s house for the end of term which was a good distraction. My friend at work who gave me a lift has been very supportive and was one of the first people to message me after my dad’s colonoscopy on Sunday. I don’t discuss it much while at work as I need to be able to function and do my job properly so not all of my colleagues know about it.

Dad had his CT scan yesterday so I guess it won’t be too long before we get the results from that.
I don’t know, I feel I should be more emotional like my mum is. I am full of worry and have had wobbly days but I am just plodding on each day and mainly keeping it all together. This is why I wonder if I haven’t processed everything properly as I adore my dad.

Hi op,

My dad has had bowel cancer twice, mostly recently in 2024 at the age of 77. I was devastated but he pulled through the surgery as like your dad he was fit and healthy for his age.

Pls feel free to DM if you want to talk - I know how hard it can be

Goodness, that must have been so scary.
i am so pleased to hear your dad is now cancer free though - that has given me some hope. 🙂