Can someone please help me gather advice to find out whether or not the man i share a child with is lying about having testicular cancer

[MamFL]

Now let me start this hasnt been an easy post to write, and has took me a lot of time to write and ask for advice after months of having a “gut feeling” that something isnt right and off about the situation
backtrack to october 2024, i was told he was going in for an op on his ball as they thought it was testicular cancer, after op it was confirmed, and CT scan performed where they found enlarged lymph nodes over 2cms in his stomach, they told him he needed chemo because of the size of his tumour alone as it was 5 cms so needed one round and they were monitoring lymph nodes to see if he needed 6 rounds instead of one, and he was also waiting 2 weeks from then to have an appointment with oncologist to proceed, low and behold nothing for 4 weeks and no start of chemo.
fast forward to december 2024 I asked the question what was going on as he hadnt mentioned anything more and not started chemo, he then proceeded to tell me they had done another CT scan (not sure when) and had found something now on his liver and pelvis and needed an MRI, MRI was done urgent, when asked when he was going to get results he said 3 weeks which I thought was odd, anyway we are in january 2025 now 15 weeks after his intial op to remove testical and still no “sign” of this appointment to find out when his treatment is and its been 4 weeks.
now ive had family members with cancer so i know this doesnt add up, and is very suspicious. Why would the NHS deliberately know this has spread once? Then spread again and not start treatment at all? Because surely this is negligence right?! Is this usual treatment pattern for testicular cancer?

When my ex had testicular cancer, he had the removal through his abdomen then 2 rounds of chemotherapy about 2 weeks after the operation

CT scans etc then every 3 months for a year, then The scans were then every 6, then 12 months till he was discharged.

His oncologist reviewed the scans there and then and if anything would have been found, it would have been dealt with there and the. Or at least come away with some sort of plan.

The surgery was not easy to recover from either. Do you think he's lied about the surgery?

If he says they went through his scrotum, he's talking bollocks. Literally

I didn't say you were basing it on just those 2 facts though did I? Just don't include them as part of your assessment of the situation as they aren't relevant facts

The joy of him being an ex is it really doesn't matter.

You don't have to be his support network. Act sympathetic and say, "Oh, poor you," and stop asking him questions about it.

Not your monkey, not your circus.

I mean according to you he's a pathological liar, so why believe anything he says anyway? Surely you would take most things as a pack of lies unless proven otherwise.

Hope you dont mind i have Pm’d you x

I don’t know about testicular cancers but have experience of other cancers.

Sometimes you are told we will do this or do that by a hospital Dr then when the MDT meet the options can sometimes change or things take longer. Similarly, if they find something else the options/treatment can change.

He would have to be a really sick so and so to lie about this. Has he said what stage he is?

Do you really need to know?

You think he's lying, he's got form for lying, you're not together anymore so just stop asking.

Simple.

Nothing! Literally nothing!!

he will ignore messages or change the convo, like blatantly obvious changing the convo when asked, if i ask whats happening its straight up defensive answers to. I dont think its a case of he doesnt want to tell ne because he was very open about it at the start