Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer - how long has he got?

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My DH 80y father was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer 10 weeks ago. My DH has moved in with him and caring for him full time which is a huge strain on his own mental health. I know it's a piece of string but had anyone got any idea how long this might go on for? It's heartbreaking watching both of them suffer.

For context his father also has dementia. He is still up and about a bit during the day although very unsteady on his feet. He's hardly eating and has lost significant amounts of weight. He is sleeping large chunks of the day. Vomiting has been an issue but he is on anti sickness meds which are helping. Just in case meds have been prescribed.

Thank you

My friend, 49, very fit, lived for 6 months after diagnosis. It's the absolute worst of cancers. So sorry.

@Sorenlorrenson I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. It's such a cruel disease x

I would say it won’t be long due to age as well as diagnosis - under 6 months, probably sooner. Are the palliative care team involved?

@Ritasueandbobtoo9 yes the palliative care team are involved. MacMillan too. I feel like I'm loosing both my DH and his Dad.

To make things worse I've been put on the 2W gynae pathway after the GP found something 'unusual' during an internal scan yesterday. I don't know what telling him will do to him.

My mum was only 64 and had no prior health concerns, she lived 10 months following the diagnoses. That was with chemo treatments slowing the spread.

Hey there,
try and keep the two separate in your head. Your referral is a safety first, catch it early, kind of thing that could still be nothing.
Best of luck and hopefully it is nothing.

I’m so sorry, it must be such a distressing time for you all. Try to get practical help for your father in law to allow your DH to sleep and be a son rather than a carer. If the money is there (or fast track NHS care is offered) buy in care, overnight if possible. Also explore Hospice care if that is available. With Dementia as well he needs trained carers because as symptoms progress he may become very agitated if pain or discomfort is not controlled. The palliative care team need to organise this rather than social care but depends on area and systems so ask the palliative care team about getting practical help.

@Ritasueandbobtoo9 that's very helpful advice. Sadly my DH is from another country and culturally it's not seen as appropriate to ask for help. In his mind it's his duty as a son to do this role (despite the huge strain it's causing).

@User198724 thank you for replying. I'm sorry to hear about your Mum. No treatment options for my FIL sadly.

@Sajacas thank you. I'm terrified to tell DH as I think it will make his mental health worse. He's already so withdrawn.

If he's not eating, I would think he's at least moving towards the end stages. My mother, who had bladder cancer, reached a point where she was eating practically nothing, drinking very little and sleeping most of the time but was in that state for a few days before she went quite peacefully.

Sorry to hear about your news. It is worth remembering that the two week pathway is purely precautionary and most of the time the problem turns out to be something harmless or easily treatable.

Tell him that is rubbish, I mean I get it, I’ve worked in areas where caring for elders is the cultural norm but he can’t care 24/7. It easy to care when there there are many siblings but impossible if it is just him. Having carers come in to Give personal care or provide home based respite to give him a break is fine.

@Ritasueandbobtoo9 trust me I've tried. I work in frontline NHS so I'm well aware of the support available. It's sad watching him go downhill with the strain too.

Once is he sleeping more and not eating it really won’t be long. My dad died about 10 weeks after diagnosis. In the last week he went from getting dressed and sitting on the sofa, to not getting out of bed at all. The end few days were a rapid decline. It is an awful disease to nurse someone through, sorry for what you are all going through x

5 months from first symptoms.

My Mum was diagnosed with stage 4 PC towards the end of August but she may have been level 4 before diagnosis and died mid October. She didn't eat anything for the last 2 1/2 weeks and just sipped a tiny amount of water.

I shared my Mum's care with 4 sisters day and night and we all still found it tough. If there was just 1 or 2 of us I don't think we could have done it giving her quality care.

I'm so sorry your going through this, my mom had laryngeal cancer and passed away month ish after diagnosis, she was very active beforehand and went down rapidly, became very sleepy towards the end and would sleep most of the time, obviously the eating was a issue anyway as it was her throat, my uncle gave up once he had his diagnosis and literally just lay there all day not eating, drinking and also passed a month after diagnosis although he had chance of treatment. Where as my partners dad was given days/weeks to live and was fighting for 7 months, Its really hard to say but from experience I'd probably say your looking at the last 2/4 weeks x

MIL was three weeks from diagnosis. Had felt ill for two weeks before that. She had a biopsy taken which set off inflammation and never recovered.
Sorry to hear you’re having such a hard time. I expect DH is wanting to ‘suffer’ to prove how much his dad means to him. I hope they both find some peace soon.

My dad died around a year after initial symptoms. This was around 50 years ago though, and I never heard any mention of 'stages', perhaps they weren't used back then.

I’m sorry to read about your FIL and your own health concerns. Most people referred on the two week pathway do not have cancer, so I hope you get good news soon.

Pancreatic cancer can be very quick.

I knew of an elderly woman who was diagnosed very late and died just 5-6 weeks from diagnosis. She was cared for in hospital.

I also knew of a man in his thirties, who died just three months after diagnosis.

DSM was less than a week after diagnosis.

My beloved MIL died last September from Pancreatic cancer. It was 1 year 13 days from first symptoms. That was at stage 2 at that point and she had chemo and radiotherapy. From finding out it was stage 4 it was 6 days. The end was brutal. On the weds morning she was sat in bed chatting and by 9.40 that evening she had died. You need to prepare yourself and your DH. It was horrific.

I’m so sorry for what your family are going through. I wish you all well over the next few weeks/months.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. My aunt died of this in June, just 6 weeks after diagnosis. Her doctors were very reassuring that her final few days would be pain free and they were. She passed peacefully.

Hi OP, sorry to hear you have all this going on. Your own ivesiigations will hope fuly show either nothing too serious (whuch is the most likely scenario), or something at a very early stage. I had an early uterine cancer and after hysterectomy i was totally cured.

Your Fil sounds like he is near the end now, as he has stopped eating and drinking enough his organs will start to fail.This is so hard for you all as a family, my sympathies.