I've really convinced myself I have cancer

[NeedSomeAnswersPlease]

I've been referred for a colposcopy after my smear test back at the start of the year. I bled during my smear and she found a cyst.

It's taken so long for the appointment to come around now that I've worked myself into a stew, so much so I'm having physical symptoms. The only thing keeping me sane is that it's been 7 months since my smear and if they genuinely suspected cancer they wouldn't have let me wait so long.

Just really scared and worried about the entire thing now and it feels like it's ages away

Thank you both

@Growlybear83 probably going to leave work around 1:45, they have a new policy of only taking an hour for appointments but it'll take me near enough and hour to get there! Just nervous as hell, in my rational mind I know it's likely to be okay but I'm also worried I'm gaslighting myself because I feel fine

I can understand all your worries, and I know nothing anyone can say will stop you worrying until you've had confirmation that there's nothing serious wrong. But I'm certain you WILL find out it's nothing terrible. It seems a bit unreasonable to only be allowed an hour off from work - have you explained that it will take you a while to get there?

My supervisor is fine with me taking as long as I need but HR have reiterated that the allowance is an hour and I may have to make it up by working through lunch etc - not too bothered as I'm either going to get good news and be happy or get bad news and not really care 😅

Just wish it was done now, I keep bouncing between "it's fine, it's a cyst and ectropian (sp.????) and being terrified

Feeling so nervous now, I feel sick to my stomach. Just want it over with and to know but I just get the feeling it won't be positive because nothing ever is for me, also worried they'll take biopsies and so I won't be able to travel next weekend like I'm supposed to

You've only got an hour to go now before you leave. They can take biopsies for all sorts of things, not just cancer. If they do take a biopsy, make sure you ask what they are looking for. And as you are so worried, if there is any ambiguity and you dont get an immediate answer, tell the doctor how anxious you are and ask him/her outright if they suspect anything awful.

All I can say is that I'm thinking of you. As are lots of others on this thread. And while you have the feeling that it won't be positive, I have exactly the opposite feeling. Xx

Thank you, just to add to the day it looks like my mum is going to be taken to hospital so it's straight from the colposcopy to a&e

Bloody ideal

I'm really sorry to hear that. Will she be at the same hospital as you? I expect it seems overwhelming on top of your own worries. I will be thinking of you and hope to see a positive post from a bit later. Have you got someone at work you can talk to about things?

Different hospitals but same town - I'm being treated as an NHS patient in a private hospital

Just an absolute nightmare! I could cry

On my way to the appointment, don't really know what to do with myself! I'm trying to keep all the negative thoughts at bay but then again I don't want to put myself into a false sense of security

You've been waiting a long time for this appointment, but it will be over very soon now. I'd give you a big hug if I could. Try to distract yourself playing a game on your phone - it always works wonders for me.

Thank you 🩷 hoping I don't have to have biopsies so I can have a nice bath tonight

Just got here to check in and I'm not on any of the lists!!! Really frustrating, I thought that because I was being put into a private hospital it would be easier!

And after all that my appointment has been cancelled as my bmi is too high

I'm absolutely fucking mortified, I want to curl into a ball and cry

What!! That's absolutely appalling!

I feel sick to my stomach and so so disgusted with myself

She said my GP should have never let me be referred into the private sector as their bmi limit is quite a bit lower than my bmi

I'm disgusted with myself but I guess the wait goes on and I just have to assume it's not serious as it's taking so long for me to be seen!

I'm so sorry, that's dreadful and it's the last thing I expected you to say! Was there anyone you could ask for reassurance that nothing terrible is suspected?

Nope I was literally taken into the secretary's office, told I shouldn't have ever been referred to them and that it'll be another 24 week wait

At least it can't be serious if they're making me wait another 24 weeks

I think at this point, having been shoved from pillar to post and this being the second time it's been cancelled, I have to assume it's not a referral for cancer and that it's just erring on the side of caution

Absolutely ashamed and embarrassed to have heard it but it's given me the kick up the arse to start mounjaro tonight like I have been planning to and it's time to get serious about improving my health

Gutted though as it was such a huge deal for me to even go

It must have all been very difficult for you. But yes, you really are right thst there is absolutely no way you would be left for another 24 weeks if anything like cancer was suspected. If I was you, I would make a telephone appointment with your GP to just get the reassurance that they weren't expecting to find anything sinister, and also so that your doctor can try to get the procedure done a bit sooner as it's their fault you've been left in this position.

I do hope your mum is ok when you get to see her a

I'm considering calling them to put in a complaint to be honest!!

Mum is good - no hospital (yet), diverticulitis (which I believe she's had before), a course of strong antibiotics and rest for her!

Absolutely complain, it's terrible that this wasn't discussed with you, presumably weeks ago your GP surgery knew your referral wouldn't be accepted.

You would have thought so, and would have thought the hospital could've emailed me!!!

Going to just relax this evening after the gym and chalk it up to a life lesson to not get fucking fat!