I've really convinced myself I have cancer

[NeedSomeAnswersPlease]

I've been referred for a colposcopy after my smear test back at the start of the year. I bled during my smear and she found a cyst.

It's taken so long for the appointment to come around now that I've worked myself into a stew, so much so I'm having physical symptoms. The only thing keeping me sane is that it's been 7 months since my smear and if they genuinely suspected cancer they wouldn't have let me wait so long.

Just really scared and worried about the entire thing now and it feels like it's ages away

You won’t honestly. You’ll sit on the toilet and wee into a cup and then go to the sink and pour the cup-full into a vial thing. And then the nurse or whoever will send it away or dip it or whatever. At least that what it is in my experience (3 pregnancies and various others in life!)

What a mean thing to say to someone who is clearly anxious and looking for some comfort.

@NeedSomeAnswersPlease I was in the same boat as you only a few months ago, but with ovary problems.

They told me then and there they suspected early stages of cancer and fast tracked every test going.

Thankfully I got the all clear.

They wouldn’t leave you hanging for this long if it were serious, so please don’t worry, I made myself sick with worry xx

If they even slightly suspect cancer they are duty bound to refer and investigate within 2 weeks. Distract yourself with a Netflix series. Do not google. You will wind yourself up.

You may be stressed and depressed but you're also an arse hole

Really, OP, you wouldn't have been left such a long time for your appointment if anything serious was suspected.

Just don't do the same as my mum,when she did a wee test a few years ago, when she was first developing dementia. She was sent into the loo at the doctor's surgery with her bottle and a little bright green funnel, to help her to collect her sample. She opened her bag later that afternoon and gleefully showed me the funnel that she had used and taken with her. My sister in law came to stay with my mum a couple of days later and when I called round, she told me that my mum was very excited by her new green funnel and had been using it when she was making their lunch. 😆😆. My sister in law's face was a picture when I told her where it had come from,

Thank you everyone (who's been nice)

It's just really hard not to overthink, I almost think that preparing myself for the bad news means it'll be easier to swallow. I don’t know. Just very much wanting to get it over and done with; but also pretend I don't have to go

Oh dear!!!

Reminds me of my nan after her hernia surgery, she was given all sorts of funnels and jugs etc for her drains

She was using them in the kitchen for years because "they'd been through the dishwasher"... 🤢🤣🤣

😆😆😆. She sounds like my mum, OP!

Like many people, I've had loads of experience of cancer referrals. I had breast cancer 12 years ago, and my recall after my mammogram was very quick and I was seen within two weeks. Once you've had a cancer diagnosis, I think you become far more aware of anything that doesn't feel right with your body, and I've had at least a dozen instances where I've had concerns, and without exception, when the GP has had the slightest suspicion that it could be cancer related, I've been referred under the two week pathway. Doctors are so aware of the need for very quickly investigations nowadays when something sinister is suspected, and there is a very clear and established procedure that they have to follow. I've just re-read your first post, and have remembered that I had a cyst on my cervix many years ago. This was found during a routine smear test, and whilst I didn't have a colposcopy, I was referred to a gynaecologist, who removed it with a local anaesthetic.

My rational head says that the fact it's been 7 months means it's probably not all that serious, but my anxiety is getting the better of me tonight

Seen a screen mentioned a few times, will I have the option not to look? I'd rather not

I think all doctors understand that people can be anxious about procedures and they will understand if you don't want to look at any screens. I've had scans where I couldn't see the screen anyway, and others where I could, but would have been able to turn away if I'd wanted to - but I'm always intrigued at seeing my insides 😆

When is your colposcopy booked for?

Monday mid afternoon, not very handy because I have to work all before and all after!

It's ridiculous, I'm even nervous about what to take to work for lunch on the Monday as I'm worried I'll trump on them (RIDICULOUS), my mind is really running wild

😆😆. I know that's a worry for you, but no medical person would bat an eyelid at something like that. I've had a couple of endoscopies, and the noises that came out of both ends when I was pumped full of air were quite unbelievable 😆😆

Try to keep yourself calm and occupied, and tell yourself that this time next week you will be looking back on this and wondering why you were worried. Have you for a friend or a family member you can talk to, and who can reassure you a bit more?

My mum knows I'm anxious but because of timing and other family commitments I have to go alone, which is far from ideal

Oh lovely, don’t worry about anything like that. They’re medical pros and used to any kind of bodily function like that. I had a very lovely anaesthetist for an op who absolutely didn’t blink when I projectile vomited all over him. Don’t give a bit of air a second thought.

And if it makes you feel any better, that stupid comment from a PP about it definitely being cancer has been deleted because it’s so obviously not true. Please try not to worry too much, and I know it’s really hard not to. Giving you some very un-mumsnetty hugs (caveat I think that this is by and large a really supportive and kind community in spite of the presence of a few arseholes)

If you've never had sex, you won't have cervical cancer. It's caused by a virus passed on during sex.
Nuns don't get cervical cancer.

Thank you all. Feeling more calm this morning but I just want it done.

Doesn't help that the appointment is 45 minutes away and my work is saying I can only be gone for an hour! It's a joke

If they suspected cancer you'd have been referred a lot quicker.

I was found positive for HPV with abnormal cells and had a colposcopy within 2 weeks. I was found to have CIN3 and so they performed a lletz straight away then and there. 6 months later I was CIN and HPV free. So even if there was something suspicious you would most likely be fine.

They probably just want to have a better look due to the bleeding and cyst.

Good luck 🍀

Thank you 🧡

Just popping on here to say it's tomorrow, I'm still absolutely convinced I'm unwell even though I have 0 symptoms. Just want the appointment to be done, in 24 hours I know

Wishing you all the best for tomorrow. I'm quite sure that it will be nothing serious and we will be able to say 'I told you so' in the nicest of ways! Try to stay calm and please let us know the outcome tomorrow.

Thank you, I'm really hoping that's the case!

Not sure why I'm rambling on here but my mum has woken up poorly so I'm totally on my own for this today (nobody else knows, I don't want anyone worrying). Barely slept last night and I woke up around 3:30 and it took me about an hour to get back to sleep because I was just imagining all the worst case scenarios.

I really wish they had given me a morning appointment instead of having to wait till the afternoon, I feel horrendous :(

Good luck OP, we are all thinking about you and sending you positive vibes.

I really do know how you're feeling and how scared you are, and I remember the sleepless nights all too well. But you're almost there now - only a few more hours to go before hopefully your mind will be put at ease. I hope your mum gets better quickly. What time do you need to leave for your appointment?