A hand hold please

[bewilderedhedgehog]

Hi. I have just got home to find a breast screening recall letter and appointment for 17 June. Was trying to stay calm but have just checked my breasts and found a large lumpy area. It is my dad’s funeral the same week as the appointment. I would welcome some support please. I don’t feel able to tell anyone irl aside from my (relatively new) partner. My best friends dad has just died too and my family are dealing with my fathers sudden death. All advice welcome please

I’m not sure that I have any words that will help you right now, but I didn’t want to read and run. I’m sending positive vibes your way.

It must be so scary to receive a letter like that through your door. Especially given the fact that you’ve just lost your dad suddenly – I’m so sorry 💔 And with what’s going on with your best friend’s dad – it really sounds like you’re just surrounded by reminders of the fragility of life and mortality right now. That is so hard.

That said – most recall letters do not result in a cancer diagnosis. Those lumps could be many things. Right now, you just need to have some further investigations. It’s impossibly difficult not to catastrophise the best of times for a lot of us, and right now things are particularly hard for you. But hang in there. You will get through this ❤️

Thank you so much for replying. I really appreciate it. I totally agree about not catastrophising. It is just very hard to stay calm even though I know that would be best… am relieved there is not long to wait though, and the hospital is good

Hand hold. I have two friends who had very similar letters, turned out to be nothing to worry about.

worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it gets you nowhere. Keep telling yourself that.

It is tough, especially late at night, but we’ve got you.

Of course, it’s an impossible ask at the best of times. What you’re going through is really scary. I’m really sorry, I didn’t want to sound judgmental in my post. It sounds like you’re doing amazingly at trying to find some positives, like the fact that the wait isn’t long and the hospital is good. You should be really proud of that. You’ve got this 👊

I know it’s hard but try not to think and expect the worst. It could be something like a none cancerous cysts or an infection . I know this has come at an awful time and I am sorry for the loss of your father. I think you will be surprised if you reach out to people in real life … even when people are having the toughest time they have love in their hearts and will support you. Don’t bottle it up when you are already dealing with a shock. Perhaps you can call your gp and get them to explain the next steps here. Sending you a big hug x

I would love to tell you not to worry, but that would be silly - of course you are going to worry! But I can encourage you not to panic.

I'm in my early 60's and have had a couple of recall notices over the years. After further testing (ultrasound, diagnostic mammogram, MRI) the findings were benign - non-cancerous cysts. This is very, very common.

So while I completely sympathize with the fear and anxiety, I recommend that you take this one step at a time. Right now you are just having further testing. The odds are good that the findings will be benign. And if they are not, that can be dealt with as well.

You can do this @bewilderedhedgehog ! Remember...one step at a time.

Also, the June 17 appt is very likely to be "one stop shopping" so to speak. You'll have whatever tests they feel are warranted and they'll give you the results of any imaging tests/ultrasounds right then.

I found it very comforting to have someone come with me to the appointments.

Thankyou all for your messages. And none of them were read as judgmental 😊 (I think one poster above mentioned this - but I wasn’t thinking that). I will have my partner at the appointment. Will tell my best friend but definitely not my family as they have a lot to deal with already. Has anyone found mindfulness helpful in this situation? I tried it years ago but found it stressful so haven’t tried it since…

Has anyone found mindfulness helpful in this situation

Honestly? I was too anxious at the time to try to adopt a mindfulness practice.

What worked for me was distraction and keeping busy - outside exercise, watching movies with my husband, shopping, reading...no internet "research", avoid Dr. Google!!!

Yes I think being busy might be useful for me too. Luckily (!?) I work full time so am sure that will help. I have phoned to confirm my appointment, and also said I am free for a cancellation if anything comes up sooner (I only live 5 minutes from the hospital). Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts - there is always a lot to learn from other people's experiences

Even if it is cancer it's not the news it used to be. I'm mid-way through breast cancer treatment and it really hasnt been anything awful. My life has continued as normal bar attending hospital visits) I've just come back from a music festival. The treatment is working as expected. Life is good.

Please. Dont overthink this. I barely think bout it tbh.

Thank you - that is reassuring :). I think it will all feel a little easier when I know whether and what I am dealing with - good to hear that your experience has been positive :)

well, I have got to Friday! still very concerned about appointment on Monday....but only the weekend to go.....

Almost there! Hope everything goes smoothly with your appointment on Monday. I'll be sending good thoughts your way😀!

hope All is clear for you OP

Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts

Focus on the fact the vast majority of lumps are benign. I have been through it - biopsy, lump removal etc, and yes it’s very scary. And yes, in my case it was benign. I hope you get the all clear too. I also have four friends for whom it wasn’t benign - all are fine a number of years later and living their best lives.

thank you everyone for your kind thoughts. am off to the hospital shortly. It has been a difficult week, but at least it has gone! will update when I can, but thank you again xx

Best of luck am thinking of you x

Good luck! I have been there, and whatever it is, you will get through it - as @Maddy said, it is manageable and it is treatable. This is one of the things the NHS is great at.

xx

🤞🍀

So.... I had xray, ultrasound and biopsy. It likely is cancer, but results of the biopsy will confirm for certain next week. The hospital were excellent - very efficient, and also very kind. I have an appointment booked for next Wednesday when they will confirm and also if it is as they expect, go through the treatment plan. I feel confident in their approach which is important. Have decided not to tell my (adult) children yet until (a) we are clear on the diagnosis and (b) we are clear about the treatment plan. Thank you to all of you for your thoughts xxx

Op I’m so sorry to hear this but sounds like you are in capable hands. You have a good plan in place re your adult children ( you are a very thoughtful person). I hope your partner was able to support you today and in the continuing weeks. You are in my thoughts x

Thank you.. my partner was really helpful today - calm and supportive which is what I needed. I think with my children, my instinct is to protect them, and we have my father's funeral this week, so my thoughts are to get through this week, then the appointment next week, and take stock of what to tell them. Welcome thoughts from anyone who has been here - all new to me.

I'm sorry that the news wasn't better, but it does sound like you'll have a plan in place very soon. It's good that you feel confident with your team's approach, and you sound very calm and grounded.

Totally agree with postponing discussing with your adult children until you have a confirmed diagnosis and treatment plan in place; that's definitely what I would do as well.

If it helps to "think out loud" then please come back and post. It's a lot to take in. Take care.