AIBU to not want to ring the bloody bell

[Thehitskeeponcoming]

Finishing radiation today. IDC & DCIS. Caught early. Lumpectomy. No Chemo but did 4 weeks of radiation. Starting Tamoxifen in 2 weeks.

I don’t want to ring the bell and feel stupidly conflicted by it because I know saying no will create more of a fuss.

Suffer from medical PTSD prior to this cancer diagnosis so I’ve found it very difficult. I’ve also been sick with the other shit for long enough (hence medical PTSD) to know that this is likely not the end, particularly with hormone therapy starting soon. It just feels so fake and twee to me.

How did everyone else feel about it? And if anyone else feels the same, how did you decline gracefully or did you just go through the motions because it was expected?

I rang the bell. And I'm glad I did.

the radiotherapy asked me if I would as she was getting me into the right position for my last dose. I said I was afraid I'd cry. They smiled and said that this was one of the few places where crying wasn't remarkable. She was right.

When I came out of treatment all the people from the waiting room, who I'd come to know over my treatment period, came into the larger room, and applauded.

of course I rang the bell. It clearly meant something to those whose treatment was ongoing, and may well not have as good a prognosis as I had.

that doesn't mean you should. It's a personal decision only you can make.

I didn't ring the bell either, told myself it was tempting fate and 6 years later 🤞🏻I'm ok.
Op do what feels right for you.

Its not a thing in the country I live in and im sooo relieved. I definitely wouldnt ring it. It seems crass

I didn’t ring the bell! I wanted to just get the hell out of there! I was very traumatised (stuck in freeze mode) and luckily all the staff knew that I was struggling.

the staff on my chemo ward were lovely and defo could have a laugh with them about stuff so they didn’t mind at all. They pointed at it, saw my face and just said “we assume you don’t want to ring the bell”.
I couldn’t deal with any fuss or talking about it (other than the essential). Although I was glad to have finished chemo, I was absolutely physically ravaged by it and it was not the end of my treatment.
I also felt it would jinx it!
I am lucky tho as it’s been 6 years now and I have no regrets about not ringing the bloody bell! 😂😂

I think the bell is part of the fight nonsense around cancer. Like a boxing match bell.

I have 5 chemo days left. I don't want any part of it.

I rang the bell after I received the last infusion of chemo 2 years ago. I wanted to do something to recognise the end of a rough time. But there was no-one else in the chemo unit at the time, I'm not sure I would have if there had been others around.

I'm back in the chemo unit every 4 weeks now to collect medication since my cancer came back and they've removed the bell, perhaps out of sensitivity for those who are still going through treatment. It wouldn't bother me if others ring the bell, I'd be happy for them, but I can appreciate that not everyone will feel the same as me.

@SewingBees wishing you a speedy recovery, and sending hugs to everyone on this thread.

That caregiver should be reported. Putting pressure on someone like that is appalling.

Out if curiosity, when did ‘the bell’ become a thing. Is it an American import? I don’t recall it in the children’s hospital my dc attended twenty years ago, but wasn’t a cancer ward .

I wanted to ring the bell, and I did ring the bell. I have heard other people ring it and been happy and celebrated for them. if you don't want to, then don't. no one makes you

I rang the bell after my last internal radiotherapy. I'd been in that place every day for six weeks straight and saw many people ring the bell (so many tears, especially with the kids) I wanted my go!

It’s so personal, isn’t it? After 20 sessions of just lying there for radiation, I don’t feel like I did anything particularly spectacular. Is it imposter syndrome?

My other illness was also technically life threatening and the surgeries/recovery was so much physically and mentally harder. At the time of my final surgery and discharge, they knew I was “fixed” but there was no bell or celebration. So weird that cancer is “special” in this regard.

And seriously, no shade to anyone who did opt to ring the bell. Rockstars every one of you.

Google tells me it is an American thing. Introduced in 1996 at MD Anderson by a navy rear admiral who received treatment there. Apparently it’s a navy thing 🤷‍♀️ weird!

Surely what you need to say is "no thank you" and when they ask if you are sure just say "yes I'm sure". That should be the end of it. If they pressed more than that it would be massively unprofessional and inappropriate. Where the other lady "went wrong" was saying "if I must" that just led to more discussion and questions and drew the whole thing out.

You can say "no thank you" and "I'm sure".with a smile and in a nice tone if you are worried about offending anyone.

I completely quite the wrong person, sorry, and now I can't delete my post. I'm going to blame brain fog 😬

I did wonder about this, thanks. I didn't know about the bell as a thing, until someone mentioned it to me last week. Fingers crossed my recurrence chance is low 🤞, but I know that lots of people round me may be having palliative chemo,l when I finish my course and I thought it might be insensitive to do it.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through

No bell at our local hospitals, I finished my chemo and just left - I wouldn't have wanted to ring a bell anyway - I still had surgery and radiotherapy to go so it wasn't "finished" so it would have been weird for me

No bell when I finished chemo, 14 years ago. I legged it out that unit asap! The buggar that is breast cancer, has returned anyway; so I'm glad there was no bell to be seen or heard!!

If you're worried about feeling pressured, call the unit and ask them to put it in your notes that you don't want to be asked about the bell.

I think it’s a stupid idea. One of several around people with cancer being an inspiration/ tragic victim/ warrior etc.
It’s a horrible illness and we get through it or not as best we can.
There wasn’t a bell where I had treatment or if there was I would have told them my view of such nonsense.
Do whatever you want and don’t give it another thought.

Agree 100%!

There's no bell where I had my chemo and even if there was I don't think I'd have wanted to ring it. Some people in their having treatment may well have secondary cancer so their treatment won't have an end. It's definitely personal choice but in earshot of others, it seems insensitive.
The staff in the room clapped when I got up from my final radiotherapy. That felt a little awkward but at least nobody else could see or hear. The relief when I put my gown in the laundry bin after 3 weeks was enough!! (To reduce laundry, we were given a gown to bring each day).

• in there

I didn't ring the bell.
Don't want to tempt fait.
Was asked, I said no thank you.
End of story.

It was mixed feelings when hearing the bell when mum's chemo was still ongoing. Honestly I could have done without hearing it. She couldn't ring the bell because of bloody covid, no one was allowed to touch the bell. She felt relieved and robbed at the same time.