Not enjoying camping!

[Ella1980]

Long story short, I agreed to try camping with my boys (9 and 11) and my fiancé. Both of us work ft but on low wages and figured a break away would be better than none.
If I'm being totally honest I am really not enjoying it and can't help but count the minutes until we are back home! I'm cross at myself for feeling like this and feel like I'm letting down my very outdoorsy fiancé but try as I might, it's just not for me.
I think I'm too old and just prefer the comforts of home!!!
Kids are doing OK but getting a bit bored too which is annoying my fiancé which in turns bothers me. I feel claustrophobic stuck in a small tent with them all in the middle of nowhere although I fully appreciate that's heaven to others.
I don't want to tell him I'm not having much fun as he really was hoping I'd enjoy the whole camping experience.
Advice please 😊

Do you know, I don’t think it’s the camping, it’s just that you haven’t done it before, so didn’t know what to expect and so are in prepared. We love camping but I wouldn’t in your set up. This is what we do roughly.

Large tent with ‘bedrooms and communal area and awning. Blow up beds and duvets in bedrooms. Your own clothes in your own bedroom.

Get up, wash get dressed etc, then out for the day. Seaside, hike, tourist attraction, pub lunch etc

Back to campsite mid to late afternoon. Swimming if raining and there is a pool. Otherwise kids run free and make friends with other children, play football, ride bikes etc.
Grown ups light bbq and evening is spent drinking wine in a camping chair, snuggling in a blanket by the fire. Kids in bedtime onesies and glow sticks running about until they drop.

It’s great but a family of 4 with kids the age of yours and not enough food and a small tent is hard work I am afraid. For what it’s worth I don’t think you are being ungrateful.

That sounds lovely...but I know he'd say it's too expensive!!! And I do get that to an extent. I was out of work for 5 months and now ft come out with around £800 pm. Fiance on about £24k pa. Ex is loaded but no maintenence due as courts ruled 50:50. Rent also gone up so pretty skint!

I don't think camping is a one size fits all type of holiday and it sounds to me like you haven't yet found the camping that you like.

I'm an electric hook up only girl, our tent is about 80 sq metres and I have to have a comfy chair and a china mug. Warmth and comfort at night are critical.

Others are wild campers only.

PPs have given you good advice. Get the supplies in, a good book for you and silly games for the kids. Explore the surroundings and if all else fails, put on your beer coat.

Camping is great if the weather plays ball. If it's damp and cold, not so much. We only ever go in July and August and for 3 nights max. Someone on here once wrote that camping is only bearable if you spend most of the experience ever so slightly drunk. I think that hits the nail on the head really.

I was in awe of a family once who turned up with their giant inflatable tent, and as they were setting up their tesco delivery van arrived with a weeks shop! They even had a plug in fridge for their bbq meat and salads

Why can’t ypu drive back to fish and chip shop?

You have to camp in a way that’s right for you. So for me it’s wild camping with a fire, but a huge tent that I can stand up in ( had to put my foot down over that, my OH wanted us to use ” the nylon coffin“ , er , no thanks. Then a massive inflatable able bed with megga duvet. The I can converse with nature.

Anyway, you don’t have to like it. Camping is not compulsory.

I'd love to, but I've had to resort to wine in order to survive!!

When we camp it's all about where we are visiting and only going in sunny weather. The tent is just for sleeping in when the sun goes down. It's an inexpensive way for us to visit Cornish beaches, fossil hunt on Jurassic coast, go to a safari park etc. Most of these (bar safari park) involve me drinking wine and reading in the sun somewhere prettier than my back yard. We have a large tent though, with very confy beds and chairs and I get pitches with electric so I can easily charge my phone etc. I like simpler wild camping too, but less often!

Everyone is miserable when they are hungry (not just me surely). I really think you need something to eat before tomorrow. Is a take out an option (some will deliver to campsites)? Then tomorrow you need a plan of action for the rest of the time, which needs to include plenty of food and drink I think. Camping isnt like another holiday, it is a bit grafty rather than pure chilling out and if you're used to AI holidays it will be a culture shock. When you get home see if you can chat about how to make it more bearable, do you need to take more/comfier kit (you can often pick up on Facebook/ebay) or does oh need to go ahead and set up and have a couple of active days and then you join at the nearest train station?

If you feel comfortable can you tell us where you are and we can suggest things to do?

How much longer are you staying? If you're not going home tomorrow then get to the shops and stock up on snacks. Camping is improved immeasurably with snacks!

Dh and l camped a lot pre kids. It was nice and romantic snuggling up in the tent but come kids we went for mobile homes. More space, proper cooking facilities and the kids thought it was a great adventure. We played board games, cards etc but they mostly loved the idea of being outside in the pitch dark.
You cannot be without food. Come on your DP doesn't get to decide everything. You need provisions at all times or else he goes off in the car and buys more chips etc.
Remember there are two of you. Who made him the boss!!!

God yes it's crap with no space and food and the tent's a mess. We have an inflatable one (6 man for 3 of us) that's up in 10, I take kitchen cupboards, wardrobe cupboards, storage boxes etc so everything has a home. And I buy a shit load of delicious food. Ds loves it as he knows when we camp there's bbq, popcorn, marshmallows, chocolate etc and we all eat like pigs. We invested in the tent and kit, prob spent 1k all in 5 years ago as we knew we couldn't afford foreign hols for a while and we go away in it for 2-4 days at a time about 6x a year.

That doesn't sound fun at all - no space, no food, no wonder you aren't enjoying it!

Aw thanks everyone, it is so kind of you all to offer so much lovely support and advice. I can't really justify ordering anything as it's just me that hasn't eaten!
I guess I just wish I could enjoy it but at 39 I think I'm kind of who I am if that makes any sense? It's just not for me.
A part of me also feels a bit sad that my boys have to have these holidays with us when just in one week last week ex spent £38k on a new car, £7k on a hot tub and £6k on an engagement ring for his 26 yo gf. It all feels a bit unfair I guess.

I don't think you're being ungrateful. I do think that you haven't been prepared for it, and if you've never been camping before then your OH should've helped you out a bit with expectations and prep! Why do you have no food? You always need a big Tupperware box filled with snacks and bits and bobs! Did you not discuss getting fish & chips? Couldn't the others have waited a while? And if not, then agree between yourselves who would go back for some for you? Sounds like poor communication has a lot to answer for in terms of your ability to have an enjoyable trip!

The time you give your kids is way more important than the money you give them. See if you can join in and do something together through the day. It's very boring hanging around your tent or the campsite all the time, get out and visit places and just try to enjoy spending time together. YY to plenty of food and wine!!

9 and 11 year olds can have as much fun camping as on luxury holidays.

Fair enough you don’t like camping but it was mad to turn down fish and chips without a back up plan for later, and your boys will have a better time if you show some enthusiasm for the outdoors.

Did you bring a ball? Cricket set? Kite?

@Ella I HATE camping but my DH and his kids love it! He went all out and bought a bigger tent, all the equipment, even a bloody carpet fgs... And I still hate it! We joke I'm a diva / princess but I'd rather stay home and do a few days out! I tried to compromise and do a maximum of two days, ona site with electric and entertainment but it's just not me... Told him, he's welcome to go with the kids but I don't ever plan to go again 🙈

I am thinking its a bit unreasonable to know you have no food back on site and refuse fish and chips earlier. Why didn’t you stop of and buy something if you couldn’t eat fish and chips?

You might be making it more difficult than it needs to be. You’re also jealous of your ex and allowing that to impact on your current situation. That’s not good for you.

I agree. I don't think it's fair that he earns in excess of £105k pa with an unemployed gf but yet we struggle so desperately financially with the two boys half of the time. But I'm trying to put a brave face on it and make the most of the little we do have.

Just feel I'm letting them down by being here really and think that's affecting how I'm dealing with the camping.

@ella,
Ok so ignore my previous I hate camping post... Make the most of what you've got. Is there entertainment on the site? Near a beach / Park? Get the boys out playing.. Are the boys actually with their dad 50/50? If not, you need to sort maintenance. Have you looked in to whether you could get help towards your rent if you're on a low income?
DH and I earn about the same as you both and we have 4 DCs between us, a mortgage and bills...

Not a fan of camping either and I would be miserable stuck in a tent. Don't feel bad for not liking it. If your hungry its probably making you feel worse. At least you tried it and I bet the kids are having fun. My sister is outdoorsy and loves camping. For me it's cold and uncomfortable and I like my house.

I completely understand that. I’d be pissed off too. The trouble is it’s making it less pleasant for you so he wins twice over. Find your big girl pants. Ignore the idea he might be in Santorini for a week and find the positives where you can. Laugh at the grimness of a campsite. Find the jolliest, perky pensioners to take the mickey out of. Do the ridiculous- find somewhere to go wild swimming, do a big hunt, make s’mores.

We have two DS, now teens. Have had some lovely foreign holidays and memorable worldy experiences. No expense spared. Despite this, the 16 year old is desperate we go camping again this year with the IL's, "so we can all sit round in our sleeping bags at night!" To our surprise they continue to love it. And often reminisce about fun camping times, much less about flying over the Grand Canyon in a helicopter!
You're not letting them down. Far from it.

Unfortunately they are. He applied to court for full custody as I dared to leave him but they ruled exactly 50:50 which he was happy with as he remained in the huge family home with no maintenance due. We've been in a mouldy rented two-bed for five years, just managed to rent a three bed which is a bit better. I used to get Tax Credits but they stopped since fiancé moved in.

I take my hat off to you if you manage on similar with 4 kids. That's impressive. Fiancé doesn't have any and obviously we won't be having any together!

Will try to get out tomorrow...