Bully threatens to stab my son in the heart

[Thomasgaler]

A pupil with a documented history of bullying made a direct threat to stab my son in the heart. This threat was overheard by another child in the class and reported.

The threat was not made in the heat of the moment. It occurred a week after my son reported the same pupil for bullying, following which the school intervened. The timing strongly suggests the threat was retaliatory and revenge with no remorse.

The pupil has an extensive record of behavioural incidents, and when questioned by the school, he admitted to planning the attack.

Despite the seriousness of the situation, the school chose not to expel him or impose any disciplinary measures (not even detention), stating they “did not want to provoke him into doing something worse”.

We requested that the boys be separated, as my son continues to feel unsafe — the pupil still pushes him, gives him intimidating looks, and has said he is waiting for my son to make a mistake so he can react. The school refused, saying it is in the best interests of both boys to remain in their current classes.

the school also said it may not be the best idea to go to police because it might make the situation worse

I feel so bad for my son and I also feel so helpless.

Do you consider the school’s refusal to separate them appropriate?

@Jeezitshardwhat an awful situation for your daughter, I hope things are better for her now.
You mentioned her name in your post, you might want to ask MN to remove it (report your own post)

I am really glad you had a good outcome. A mum of my daughters friend heads a few local schools (she is CEO) and she said the first thing they would do is separate the boys and she would look to safeguard my son.

We have gone through many of the approaches suggested in this thread. Thank you for the advice.

You’ve made the right decision to keep him home for now OP.

Your poor son and I think it’s disgusting how the school are dealing with this.

I don’t remember the poor boys name, but a boy was stabbed by a known bully at a secondary school in the school corridor. It was captured on cctv and the poor victim was minding his own business walking to his next class and sadly passed away. I cannot believe the school have not taken these threats seriously. I hope your MP and police do their jobs to protect your son.

I’m sure you will hear from the school about attendance soon enough and I would use that opportunity to remind them that their failure to deal with this situation has resulted in you having to take this action.

Hi OP - sorry thinfs are so difficult - can I just clarify something? When you say the boy "admitted to planning the attack", do you mean he admitted to saying he intended to stab your son, or that he admitted to genuinely intending to do so and making plans to carry it out?

I suppose I am thinking that young people (all people in fact) often make hyperbolic statements when angry - and there is a vast difference between saying "Oh God, I would just like to stab him in the heart?" And actually planning to do so, sourcing the weapon, working out when you will carry out the atrack etc.

If the boy has admitted to the latter, the school's lack of willingness to take action is utterly horrific.

If however it was a statement made in the heat of the moment/as a joke, with no intent behind it, while it's still not a nice thing to do at all, a school who expelled all students who ever say such things would carry out a lot of explosions!

If the boy is, in fact, planning to murder your son, separating their classes would barely scratch the surface of appropriate safeguarding. But if this is the case, you have done absolutely the right thing to inform the police, and I am confident they will act quickly.

Good luck.

Email the head.

Dear head,

The police have advised that my son and the boy who has threatened to kill him be separated.

You have a duty of care to my child. In addition your refusal to separate them breaches the 'Head teacher's standards 2020' and you are also bound by the 'seven principles of public life'.

I would like to remind you that one of the principles is Accountability.

How do you account for your lack of action in this serious matter?

Yours

The boy admitted that he was actively involved in premeditated murder.

he had planned on how he would murder my son. It wasn’t a wishful comment like “I wish he was dead”. He admitted to a carefully crafted plan and how he would murder my son

Thanks I wasn’t aware that such a thing exists

Then the fact that the school have done nothing is absolutely insane. They have a duty if care to your son to protect him from someone who admits to actively making plans to murder him, and also (funnily enough) a duty of care to the aggressor, whose balance if mind is clearly very disturbed if he thinks it's fine to make serious plans to murder classmates AND TELL PEOPLE ABOUT THEM.

So did the teaching staff admit to you that the boy disclosed this, but then say "But we are not going to do anything about it " I am just struggling to imagine that conversation happening. (Not questioning your words OP - it's just extraordinary). If the school intended to do nothing, I wonder why they didn't minimise the bully's behaviour? Why admit to you that he had admitted to making active plans to murder your child, is they don't want to do anything about it?

It's an utterly bizarre situation. I have worked in schools for decades, sometimes in safeguarding, all kinds of schools, and I have never come across a child who openly admitted to me that they were planning to murder another child. Perhaps I have been lucky?

Separating their classes isn't really good enough though, is it? He has admitted to his teachers he is making active plans to murder another child. Clearly he needs some kind of serious intervention - not just to be put in a different class from his intended victim.

Is that all the police do if they uncover plots to murder someone? Tell the attempted murderer to stay away from their victim and hope they do?

If they are in different classes they will still be together at break and lunch, walking to and from school etc.

What a pitiful school they are. Trying to make the victim keep quiet so it’s easier for them.

Is it a local authority run school or an academy?
Could you cc the chair of governors and the LA/academy in this email?
Also, definitely contact your MP if this isn't resolved.

DD was badly bullied at 14 and the school were useless. They kept saying that DD needed to develop some resilience. How can a child do this when they know that the school is doing nothing to stop the bully?

The teaching staff told us the boy admitted to this. The reason we knew about this was there was another witness who heard this. The school didn’t even tell the parents of the boy who heard this.

I guess because of the witness the boy owned up to everything when challenged.

I am unable to divulge much but it really felt the school wanted to keep things as quiet and undercover as possible.

the school action plan was for the school to keep an eye on the boy (but not actively segregate or monitor him around the school) and if my son feels unsafe he should talk to a member of staff.

I do think it is extraordinary what the school decided to do. It’s completely wrong and I have not seen anyone online or in person advocate what they recommended.

the boy has not even been punished for what he he said he would do. They said detention could tip him over the edge

Contact your local cop shop and ask to speak to the schools Community Policeman/ woman Also contact school with an e mail expressing your concerns. You now have a paper trail .

Put everything in writing whether in email or letters and keep copies in case something happens and you need to take everyone involved to court. These people are willing to sacrifice your kid's life in order to keep it all quiet so they don't lose funding and they deserve no mercy.

This .

I'd move counties