Bully threatens to stab my son in the heart

[Thomasgaler]

A pupil with a documented history of bullying made a direct threat to stab my son in the heart. This threat was overheard by another child in the class and reported.

The threat was not made in the heat of the moment. It occurred a week after my son reported the same pupil for bullying, following which the school intervened. The timing strongly suggests the threat was retaliatory and revenge with no remorse.

The pupil has an extensive record of behavioural incidents, and when questioned by the school, he admitted to planning the attack.

Despite the seriousness of the situation, the school chose not to expel him or impose any disciplinary measures (not even detention), stating they “did not want to provoke him into doing something worse”.

We requested that the boys be separated, as my son continues to feel unsafe — the pupil still pushes him, gives him intimidating looks, and has said he is waiting for my son to make a mistake so he can react. The school refused, saying it is in the best interests of both boys to remain in their current classes.

the school also said it may not be the best idea to go to police because it might make the situation worse

I feel so bad for my son and I also feel so helpless.

Do you consider the school’s refusal to separate them appropriate?

Keep him off in the mean time, its half term anyway in two weeks. You'll have a response by then.

Am so sorry to hear about this situation. It sounds absolutely terrifying and cannot believe the school's lack of action.
I would question the school on whether they have done a risk assessment - which they need to do and you see. Potentially keep your son off school until they have put a plan in place to keep your son safe.
Look at the school policies about bullying/behaviour/complaints and grievances. Follow these religiously. And just keep on at the school until they take this situation seriously.
Good for you getting the police involved.
Possibly contact your local MP to see if there is anything they can do.

we sent the school many emails to school but the school refuses to act. why does my son have to be in the same class on a daily basis with the person who wants to kill him.

We will make complaint to the governor.

we will go to the authorities.

there are nuclear options of going to the press, making our grievances more public, and suing the school so that victims are not punished.

I rather not resort to any of these things because it seems so obvious to separate the children and just can’t understand why the school won’t do this.

everywhere I read online, everyone I talk to, every professional advisor I ask for advice agree the kids should be separated.

why can’t the school do this?

Could you go to your local MP?

WTF are you still letting your child go to bloody school he could kill your son he’s openly said he is waiting for him to make a mistake.
do not send your child to school tomorrow and find him a new school. This is serious there is no second chances if he seriously hurts him. Also the school seems like a bunch of whimps frightened of a bullying kid.

Thank you I hadn’t considered going to my MP before.

Honestly, this is not normal 14 year old behaviour. The school should be concerned about both children and be taking serious action. Local MPs have an email address and can be quite responsive, they may be able to escalate things. I would inform the social services too, cover all bases. See if the school will agree to home schooling until adequate measures have been put in place to safeguard your child. That’s a reasonable suggestion given the situation. You could also involve your local GP and request a letter to support the impact this is having on your child to support any requests/applications.

I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. Sending big hugs. The NSPCC may be able to offer further advice. This is a link to their bullying webpage. They have an email and a helpline, might be worth reaching out.
https://www.nspcc.org.uk/advice-for-families/dealing-with-bullying/

Thank you. It is a really difficult time for my family.

if you have not already done so I would inform the police that the school told you not to talk to the police…that in itself is concerning.

the school didn’t tell us not to tell the police but they did they say that telling the police can make the situation worse.

we had our first conversation with the police about the situation and spoke to the officer today. The officer agrees with the risks and agrees with the seriousness of the situation but the investigation has only just begun. So if the school thinks that informing the police (or punishing the boy) could worsen the situation then surely they need to act?

Good God, this is awful. I’d remove him from the school. No, it isn’t fair for your son to have to leave, but knife crime is no joke amongst young boys and I’d much rather my son be upset he’s missing school, than be a victim of knife crime. This is awful. I’m so sorry.

Go direct to the LADO (local authority designated Officer [for safeguarding].

is it that the boys from a “known family” who shouldn’t be challenged?

Look at the kid in Sheffield who was stabbed and killed in school. Take him out

Move schools or home school until this is resolved (the only acceptable resolution being the exclusion of the aggressor) . You can still make a formal complaint and involve the police. Do both at the same time.

Is it a local authority school or an academy? If it’s an LA school report it to the LA as well. It’s absolutely shocking OP and I’m so sorry your son is going through this, he must be terrified.

Make a safeguarding complaint about the school. Dont threaten to do it, do it.
Keep your son out of school. If they suspend the other boy, I would still want to drive my son everywhere if possible, and maybe find another school. It would not be overreacting to do this. Trust your own instincts here.
Keep your own written diary of everything that has happened and is happening.

I’d keep my child home until safety measure were in place and I’d be clear with the school and local authority as to why he’s being kept home. Follow up with the police regularly. Document everything with the school, being clear that they have failed in their duty to provide a safe education setting for your child. Yes contact your MP and elected members in the council - regardless of whether it’s an academy or local authority school the council are responsible for commissioning services and have an ultimate duty of care.

What a fucking nonsense.

If you think your son is in real danger then I don't understand why you've been sending him to school. Could you explain?

I would be contacting the Police immediately and making a massive complaint about the school. Why is it that the bullies always win? They always seem to get to stay exactly where they are and the other child has to suffer.

its a local London school.

the boy is exposed to a background that has a lot to severe summary justice of similar punishment that he wanted to exact on my son. I can’t mention more than this

the murder the boy had proposed was a actually a lot more gruesome than just a stab to the heart. I can’t mention more than that unfortunately. The school has all of his confession on record.

we have decided to pull him out of the school for now. We hadn’t originally intended to do this but after reading all the comments we feel like this was the best and only choice. but with what has happened my son does not feel safe and his anxiety has worsened. He is tearful and sleepless. Why do victims feel like they are being punished.

My DD was sexually assaulted by a pupil at her school. The pastoral lead actually has the audacity to say to us that perhaps her autism was the reason she couldn’t let it go. The school was horrendous - we asked that they ensured she didn’t have to be in classes with him - but instead of disrupting him, she had to change classes, had to change option subjects - other than the school having a meeting with his parents nothing was done to impact his life at all. They continually failed to safeguard her - at one point sh had a panic attack in an exam as he was put to sit next to her. After we got involved with CAHMS and relayed this to them , police and social services got involved. They asked the school to see hercase file/ records and there was not a single incident recorded. The reason I’m telling you this is to say trust your gut. If the school aren’t doing enough, keep your child safe. Ask for work to be sent home, look into moving schools if needs be - do whatever it takes. But do not count on the school
doing anything. They absolutely should - but I’m convinced that if they don’t acknowledge a bullying problem, then they can tell prospective parents they don’t have one.

Really sorry your daughter went through this. It sounds absolutely awful. I hope everything is okay now.

We had a similar thing happen to DS when he was 15 at his London comp. Repeated threats to stab him in the chest (very specific) along with various demands to buy him safety (money mostly).

When DS finally told me (after a couple of weeks of un-characteristic behaviour, feigned sickness and school refusal), I went to the school to speak to them. In our case, the boy was from also from a challenging family background, and was actually the subject of safe-guarding himself - his older brother was in deep with gang culture and has been arrested and charged with ABH and GBH. The school were aware and trying to support and apply interventions to DS's bully to keep him on the straight and narrow. I was advised not to try and approach his family (so no mum-to-mum chat or anything like that) because she was also apparently, a piece of work. After watching CCTV of bully clearly pushing DS into a classroom and intimidating him, and being shown a text message from the bully to one of DS friends telling him to let DS know he was going to be stabbed - the school really stepped up.

DS was worried about being branded a 'snitch' - because even though it was right to speak to school, it can - of course - make things worse. School agreed that they were going to use the text that had been sent to a few people to keep the source of their info anonymous and they used that, along with the CCTV, to orchestrate a managed move for the bully kid, additional social support for the boy alongside police involvement including a home visit and caution.

School repeatedly checked in with DS making sure that there were no ongoing threats being made, outside of school and we had the same policeman visit us twice at home - along with DS head of year - to keep us abreast of everything. DS was given a number to call (police mobile) if he was ever in any danger and also reassured that his name was being kept out of things. We were really lucky that the bully had sent a few people messages about his intention in that regard.

Because we were 6 months from GCSEs, the bully never made it back to the mainstream classroom but spent the 3 months left (on his return from managed move) in isolation. He was escorted on and off bus by a teacher and DS name was never mentioned in all of this.

School were actually fantastic in as much as DS was protected but they also didn't drop the ball with the bully. Their interventions actually paid off and when DS bumped into the bully, he actually apologised. He had also found a p/t job in a local cafe over the summer which showed a massive rejection of his brother's lifestyle and I actually felt quite pleased for him.

I'm telling you all of this so you know how the school SHOULD behave. Do not let them capitulate and roll over because challenging bad behaviour in a difficult family setting is 'hard'. Your DS has a right to his education AND safety SIMULTANEOUSLY.

I would take him out. It's not worth the risk