What can I do to survive my new neighbour 🤔

[justify]

I have recently moved to what I thought would be a lovely rented cottage but my neighbour is making my life hell with ridiculous complaints. She says she can hear me on the toilet and starts banging on the walls if I even have the radio on barely audible on radio 4 for10 mins to hear the news
Fortunately all the other neighbours are lovely and say she a driven out all the previous tenants. She contacted my new landlady to complaint that she didn't want me to put a small shed even though I put it where she agreed . I have been a tenant for 46 years and have never had any complaints and have always been considered kind,helpful and quiet. I can't afford to move again and have many disabilities so this move has taken a lot out of me.
Luckily my landlady is aware that she has driven away previous tenants but it's still causing me a great deal of anxiety..I feel like I'm walking on eggshells and she is very unstable.

sorry to hear your experience of finding a new home has been tainted by this new neighbour. Do not move out, do not engage with her, if she asks you to do something that does not have any impact on your happiness, do it. If your radio is on at an acceptable level, leave it. If she complains about you being on the toilet, say yes I can hear you too. The walls are so thin and go on with your day.
You could also speak to your local police officer or pcso and ask for advice.
My best friend had a neighbour like yours. I would always smile going up the path to keep the peace. She would say “ look at you with your horrible sneer.” Some people are bored and lonely and even negative attention makes them feel better about themselves.

I second what @Lolalovesroses says. Don’t let her get to you. Listen to your radio. Live your life. She doesn’t get to control you!

How can she hear your radio on low are the walls made of paper?

Yes, you absolutely must not engage with her. If she bangs on the wall ignore her. Tell her to go away every time she knocks. Your landlady and your neighbours all know she’s unreasonable. Don’t discuss where to put sheds or anything with her again. It’s not worth it. Try to just get on with your life. And report any nastiest if she tries anything unreasonable.

I would be logging her behaviour as harassment. Keep a record but smile and wave. She must be costing your LL so much money by driving out her tenants. I would ask her for advice and speak to the other neighbours to see what her pattern of behaviour was so that you can be prepared. Can you get a ring doorbell and record her banging on your walls?

Send her a Cease and Desist with a threat of legal action for harassment.

Ask your LL to write to her in the same vein.

I had a snitching neighbour complain about pertty things such as my friend parking in her space, the fact that I inadvertantly took her bin, and similar. The LL (who had previously lived over the road) moved across the city and warned me not to pass on her number or address to NDN. You should have seen the NDNs face when I refused to give her the LLs contact details on GDPR grounds. Eventually she got a visit from a relative and his burly mate. Scared the life out of her.

Thanks for all your replies, I am trying to ignore her and are keeping records of harassment. Her husband just seems to join in with her unfortunately which makes it feel more like bullying. Before I moved in I had heard that she was in remission from cancer so I planned to be very nice to her. But I have been informed that she behaved like this before she had cancer. I think the walls are thin,but I hear nothing from them, they don't watch telly or listen to the radio.

I did tell them I didn't sign a vow of silence but couldn't live any more quietly. My other next door neighbour hasn't heard anything from my side and I don't hear her telly either. I am not a vindictive person but her rants and insults make me feel like being a lot less considerate.I feel fortunate that all the other close neighbours are fully in support of me..

She sounds absolutely batshit.
Turn your radio on. I’m in the ‘ignore her’ camp.
It’s not unusual to hear neighbours, I can hear mine when he sings!
Keep a log of her batshit complaints, if she gets worse I’d report the whole lot to the police.

Ignore her and carry on as you are.

Start a diary definitively and write a cease and desist letter. I hate neighbours like this.

Take up and instrument.

Do not feel bullied into doing things to placate her. Nothing you're doing is antisocial. What she's doing IS though, and you'd have grounds for complaint.

Our downstairs neighbour took to slamming doors every time our toddler cried (she forgave the newborn) and allround shitty, petty nastiness. I was in the midst of PND and was tempted to fork out thousands to soundproof. Fortunately we didn't, and she stopped harassing us once we'd made it very clear that a) we weren't doing anything wrong, b) we had grounds to report her and c) we'd not respond to bullying. After about a year she gradually started behaving normally and now she's quite nice. Still wouldn't piss on her if she was on fire though!

That sounds really stressful, especially after such a big move. It’s good your landlady already knows the situation—so you’re not alone in this. Try to carry on living normally within reasonable limits, and keep a record of any incidents in case things escalate. You deserve to feel safe and comfortable in your own home.

Suggest that she complain to the council, otherwise log and ignore.

That sounds easy but I do know how stressful this is. However, it's probably worse for them if they are constantly listening out for the slightest noise to get worked up about.

I have a neighbour like this underneath me. I've lived here 8 years and I could write the list on a whole toilet roll what he's complained about.
My partner used to literally pamper to him. Then he died and I took over the tenancy and no more... He came banging my door one day over my dog barking and I give him the shock of his life and told him all about himself 🤣🤣 he went scampering off down stairs as quick as he could like a mouse running into his hole. My neighbour opposite walked out at the exact moment and couldn't stop herself laughing her head off. She clapped me and said that's been a long time coming. He's complained to the landlord about every single person in the block. He's moaned and moaned about every thing and he hates women.
Then he tried to complain about the smallest noise of music my son had on which was basically like having the tv on and I shut him down completely I told him to get a life... The music was not loud and I wasn't turning it off. And I walked off.

I haven't heard a thing from him since. About a year and he hasn't complained once. He even said hello to my dog who he hates coz he likes to bounce around and annoy him 🤣.

Don't humour her, don't even try to please her.. It never works. Trust me they then think they can control something else as well. Just stand your ground. Eventually she will get bored and know she can't control you. Don't people please coz people like this love that and then they expect more and they up their antics.
Be direct. Tell her sorry but I have a right to live my life. I pay my rent so I think you need to get used to it. Play your music.. Don't pander to her. Honestly it doesn't make the situation better it makes it worse and gives you anxiety.

It might be less stressful to wear ear buds to listen to music. Not to placate her but because it might ease your stress levels. That's the only thing I would do, though.

Just tell her once
your LL and the council are aware of her behaviour your not going to anywhere and also aware that the last tenant move because of her and you won’t tolerate this shit

If she's going to complain anyway, I think I'd just live your life normally, since you sound like a quiet and considerate person by nature. What a shame though that this batshit woman is ruining your peace of mind

Play it at proper normal levels and tell them to raise a noise complaint as you’re making normal household noise.

stop pandering to them. You literally can’t afford to move so you’re going to have to grow a thick skin 🙏

I went over to my ridiculous neighbours and told them in no uncertain terms to get stuffed. They didnt bother me again.
They need telling. Bullies thrive on fear.

I’m sorry you are going through this. I hope it gets easier. I don’t really have any advice but I really feel for you. Good luck and please get advice from police.

I have been a tenant for 46 years and have never had any complaints and have always been considered kind,helpful and quiet.

You have found out to your cost that these are not great attributes when renting.

Please start as you mean to go on. Tell her you’re not making unreasonable amounts of noise, is she disagrees she should make a noise complaint to the council. I’d also be telling her you plan to raise this with this as a harassment case if she persists. Other people have been cowed by her, don’t be one of them.

Great advice from all of you. I think at first I pissed them off because I was happy. They really are unbelievably controlling and convinced my landlady that a piece of my garden was theirs.Unfortunately the landlady let them have the bottom part of my garden and they have built a hide where they sit and watch my house and garden. Other neighbours have shown me land registry documents from 2011 and the 1900s which clearly show our gardens have always ended at the same place. The neighbour doesn't know I know this but my landlady now does and is really cross with her. I have been a bit petty and insist on hanging my ugly big granny pants out on my line ,so if they want a view they've got one. I don't like behaving childishly but their entitlement makes me cross.

I also am reluctant to report anything to the police because it would be harder if they tried to sell thir house having to declare this.

I wouldn't let this hold you back. It would be more of an issue if your LL wanted to sell up. Maybe check with her? When we rented, our LL was more than happy for us to pursue a nuisance complaint against a neighbour (I don't think we did).