I have been with my partner for 3 years. I only managed to move out of his mother’s house last year by homelessness with my 4 month old (caused by her) she called the police to remove us even though we were willingly leaving anyway. A bit more back story now,
the 2 years I lived at hers I received physical threats, accusations, racial abuse and mental abuse. Let me explain further so you can decide weather I have labelled the behaviour as correct.
everything I am about to explain was done when I was in my (boyfriends) bedroom with the door shut sat in the bed sometimes with earphones in the block the noise. In the bath, in a different room or not in the house. Also For further context I stopped speaking to her a year into the relationship when she had already kicked me out, accused me of lying about 🍇, called me every name under the sun and more, while I was at work btw.
she does not work, so she has 24/7 free, for further context she is white British and I am British born Pakistani.
She would start arguing with my partner (her son) and start calling me names, lazy (I was working, coming home to cook, cleaning her house for her) fat (she’s bigger than me I’m a size 14) ugly, liar (don’t know why she’s said that) and a bad mum. She would say I’ve lied about the 🍇 I received for 2 years from my ex husband, the abuse, the starvation, the control etc. She would call me a pa🔑, foreign b@stard, foreigner etc.
this was happening every week for a year and then I got a new job and got pregnant, whenever I got a job I would sense intense jealousy from her. My boyfriend would show her ugly girls and she would say “I think she looks like her” just to be funny. Every work break I was receiving phone calls from my OH stating she has called people up telling them I’ve been bullying her all day (hadn’t spoke to her in a year and been at work since 7) and they turning up to my work to “smash my head in” while pregnant btw.
She would cause issues about me cooking when I got home saying “cooking all that mucky curry” “turning my house into a Indian takeaway” yellow slime” (she’s referring to the seasonings I use” calling people up telling them I’m cooking at midnight and she hates having a foreigner in the house (I finished work at 10, got home for 11:30)
I then started ordering food to avoid a issue, then she would scream about “ordering all these takeaways when I have to eat out the freezer” “greedy horrible c@nts ordering takeaway she eats like a horse” bearing in mind she wouldn’t allow me in the living room so while my food was cooking etc I would have to sit on the kitchen floor heavily pregnant while she would come in and stick her butt in my face hoping I would say something for once. But I still never I kept my head down.
I then started eating out before coming home to avoid the new matter. She would shout and scream about that too. She hated me eating. Constantly screaming “why does she have to be around why can’t it just be us two”
the whole pregnancy it was “she will never be the mother of my grandchild” “she’ll never have my grandkids” I was losing a lot of weight and I sat on the sofa once. She came down and approached me on the sofa and said “I’m not being funny about your weight but don’t sit there cos the sofa will go through” (I was 7 months and a size 14) she would then not let me use the washing machine causing me to have no clean clothes. Which meant I wasn’t able to leave my house to buy food or work. I hat to sit in a heatwave in a thick winter dressing gown naked underneath will heavily pregnant knowing I was passing out a lot, apart from her it was only men in the house. My OH told her I have no clothes clean so she knew. She said she wanted to try get me sacked too.
Also she would randomly walk in on us two and say “I don’t agree with mixed race marriages” stating it constantly and throwing racial abuse my way. The whole time I never responded back.
She also complained that my menstrual blood was getting on my things and screamed about how disgusting I am for my periods (I have pcos she knows this)
Baby was born and she kissed and grabbed him straight away. He’s breastfed she knew that and was placing his face all over her breasts and skin saying she wishes she could breastfeed him. So I stopped her holding him.
Anyway since moving out I have not allowed her to see the child as she is weirdly obsessed with little boys privates. Doesn’t listen to boundaries etc this Christmas my OH wants to take our son to see his brother who is very ill and he’s bound and who also lives at his mothers. She will try speaking to me with front on since other family will be there. And I know they are going to ask to hold my son and give him to her without me seeing.
I want my son to see his uncle but I am very unhappy about going there and don’t think she deserves to be grabbing my child after everything she’s said and done. How do I handle this situation?