Our son had been strangled at school

[VeryFrustratedMum]

Our son is 7y old, he is a very calm, kind and respectful boy, but have been targeted by another child since reception. My first concerning emails with the head started in January but my first concern with our son's class teacher was raised in October last year. All the school is doing is removing the child from class for a couple of days and from the playground, and then there is a quiet period sometimes a month sometimes a week and we are back to emails and calls. The other child is very impulsive and unpredictable and accidents happen during lessons, carpet time, playground etc. Just to give a few examples of what is happening - squeezing hands, cheeks, slapping across the face, punching our son in the stomach, throwing things at our son…it's relentless. The child is not SEN, they have no boundaries, very clever but very manipulative. Last week I had enough when they tried to strangle our son and requested The child be put into another class as we don't feel safe sending our son to school. The reply was it was not possible. It's a two-form school and we know there a spaces to fill in in both classes. I have again requested a face-to-face meeting and finally, I have one tomorrow. What should I be focusing on during the meeting, I want to be well prepared - I have printed out all
Our emails, behaviour school policy, also I Am taking a family friend for support. Please help.

Firstly you won’t definitely know that child doesn’t have SEN.

You need to concentrate on what school can do to protect your child. Use the term Safeguarding. Do not ask about the other child. Do not demand that the other child be moved

what out come do you want ? Maybe get your son moved to other class might be easier Or change school , realistically this child is not being managed well and usually these situations are hard to manage, this kids behaviour is not going to change overnight

I wish you luck I hope you get a satisfactory outcome

Have you downloaded the school's anti bullying policy? This should be available on the school's website.

At your meeting ask how they have been following the policy in order to protect your child.

These are all pretty violent behaviours. I would be asking the school why you shouldn't be involving the police, given they do not seem to be able to keep your child safe in school.

Is your son the only one on the receiving end of this?

Does the boys parents know? Sorry your son is going through this, sounds horrible for him x

The school have a duty of care to ensure your son is safe and receives an education. Focus on this - do not become derailed with what you want to happen to the other boy as they will not be willing to discuss that with you.

Emphasise the impact these behaviours are having on your son and ask them what they are doing to ensure that going forwards he is safe. Ask for a copy of the minutes of this meeting.

Going forwards, if further incidents occur, I'd go down the official complaints route. Ensure your complaint is clearly labelled as being an "official" complaint. If they don't deal accordingly I'd move school (but also pursue the complaint).

The child is 7, not sure what the police can do

Could also try asking what Risk Assessment has been put in place in order to ensure that the OP's child is protected from further assaults.

I’d have a list of every single incident with a description of the assault and the date. Remind them that they have a legal duty to safeguard your child. Ask them what they’re doing to ensure that your DS a safe learning environment?

Has

They can’t and won’t discuss anything about the other child but they have a legal duty to ensure that your DS is physically safe and the measures they have taken so far have proven to be ineffective.

I’d imagine that they’re worried because your child isn’t the only one targeted by this child and if they allow your child to move class they’ll have other parents asking for their DC to be moved as well. That’s 100% their problem and nothing to do with you or your DS.

Our son is not the only one who is being targeted by this child. I don't know if other parents are complying or not but I feel we have reached the point where we need to seriously step in. Yes his parents are well aware of the issues but i don't know what is in place. As there is no transparency or update for us.

@VeryFrustratedMum just be mindful that you are not asking specifically what they are doing about the other child. They maybe trying to help get diagnosis, EHCP, additional funding, extra adult support (which more than likely they can’t afford). You say there is no SEND, but something is triggering this behaviour. Could be trauma/dysfunctional family.

They can put a Child Safety Order in place.

To be honest, I don't know much about the boy, just he is very bright, lively with a lot of energy and he is very fond of our son or children similar to our son calm, polite, shy and he is taking advantage of it.

If they move the child to the other class, what do you think the parents of the children in that class will do? If they were targeting only one child, might make sense to split them. But you will also have parents where there are other issues between children eg massive falling out between 2 pupils that were once best mates, asking for children to be moved

@VeryFrustratedMum if you don’t know much about the child why did you say the child is not SEN?

At this point if possible I'd just move my kid to a different school

They were never best friends, and this was not a sudden fallout of friendship. They do play some days more some days less. But once we learnt that our son was being physically hurt and manipulated we tried to stay and communicate with the school more. Asking to help our son speak up, another child to be more respectful but not much has changed in the last few months. We feel it's escalating…

Your son is in year two now, and this situation remains .

Unjustly that it is the victim making this move but I think you should change school. They haven’t managed to nip it in the bud.
and it has persisted for more than 2 years

Is want to know what they are putting in place to keep your son safe. The child could be SEN, but the head isn't going to tell you anything to do with them, so don't expect it.
If you have no luck with the head, then you need to complain to the governors.

This is from the NSPCC website

Arrange a meeting

• Ask for a copy of the school or club's anti-bullying policy, behaviour policy and complaints procedure. These may be available on the school or club's website.
• Take another person with you for support if it will help you.
• Take a notebook so you can remember what’s said.
• Bring any evidence you have of the bullying. If the bullying is happening online, this might include text messages and screenshots.
• Give detailed examples of the bullying's effect on your child.
• Make it clear you expect a response to help resolve the bullying.
• Ask for a copy of the school or club’s anti-bullying policy, behaviour policy and complaints procedure. These may be available to you before the meeting on the school or club’s website.
• Ask what action the school will take, making sure you all agree on what they plan to do.
• Arrange a date to speak to them again so you can see what progress has been made.
• Agree on a key person your child can talk to about new incidents or worries.
• Let the school or club know if you think the bullying involves ongoing harassment and intimidation or a hate crime, such as racism or homophobia. The school or club may inform the police if this is the case.

www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/support-for-parents/dealing-with-bullying/

If his ‘Special needs’ involve strangling people, he will just have to be disappointed.

He doesn't have 1:2:1, there are no out-of-class sessions with anyone. Due to his behaviour, he is often with the deputy head or head.

I had to do something similar. However, I hardly mentioned the other child- I kept asking about what was being done to keep my child safe.
I mentioned the rise in peer on peer assaults.
I listed the injuries and showed the photographs. (Visible injuries) I listed the comments I was very concerned about. ('you deserve to be punished') and asked for it to be escalated as a safeguarding issue.
I asked for for a clear plan of action to be put in place.
I had my own thoughts about the other child but never mentioned any of this.