Being ignored by Head Teacher at DS school

[Camlinmagic]

Hello,

Not sure if I am in the right Topic/ Group but I need help understanding what has been happening to me is ok or not.

I always do the school pick up and drop for my 6 year old in year 1 at our local school and most days if not daily the school's Head Teacher is standing on the gate wishing everyone His Good mornings but I have noticed whenever we cross him he ignores us so much so that even if I wish him he looks away. This has happened so often that it's no longer a coincidence. And his attitude is upsetting me and bought me to tears really.
I told this to my husband this morning after it happening again and he was like "so what you should still try to wish him even if he didn't"
I am not liking this behavior especially from the Head Teacher itself and too be honest I feel discriminated. AIBU on this and should I just bear with it. How best should I handle this situation.

I would guess you are imagining it

he will be very busy
i doubt very much he’s ignoring you
and he sure as heck isn’t “bulling you”

Stand right in front of him, look him straight in the face and say "good morning headmaster" very clearly. Don't move until he acknowledges you.
It might be that in the morning chaos that he doesn't hear you.

Discriminated on what grounds?

Why would he be discriminating against you? Isn't he just likely to be trying to focus on the children, and getting their names right? I can't say I've ever kept a note of days when DS's Heads across two primaries actually said good morning or not.

So it's not very rush rush that he can't see me. As it's been instances where it was just me cross the gate when he stood there and as soon as I come closer he would just look the other way.

And you just know when someone does this intentionally don't you ?

@SilkFloss colour of my skin

@TheShadowyThird
As he is always wishing others

so you think the head only says hello to parents of one particular skin colour?

Have you ever shagged him like before married life? Maybe he’s embarrassed if that’s the case? One night stand?
Sorry, in seriousness I’d engage in a conversation with him about the school and see how he reacts?

That's shocking. I would say good morning and keep repeating it louder until he responds. Are you treated OK by your kids teacher? This country (if it is this country) is going backwards.

Is the op the mother or the child. I'm confused.

How horrible. I’m so sorry. I think the advice to stand in front of him and loudly say ‘Good Morning Headmaster’ is good if you can bear it, but idk if I’d have the strength to do that and why on earth should you have to.

Approach him and say "good morning mr headteacher, how are you today?"

See how he responds

my children’s primary head was like this. He was a strange man who struggled to build positive relationships with parents, staff and kids. On a surface level would seem to go through the motions of greeting. No idea how he got the job as a head but i suspect his last school had been desperate to see him go and as usual being male at primary school level found it easy to be promoted into leadership roles.

Make sure you greet him with eye contact and don’t move on until he responds
Be careful accusing him of racism, it’s a very serious accusation in his role …..

I really wouldn't stress. Maybe he can't remember your DCs name. Which generally means they're unproblematic. He may be focusing on a child that needs the morning just behind you. Many threads on here about school runs, most boil down to it being a stressful busy time of day. The head at our DCs school didn't say morning to us when we first started. But now DS is very clearly autistic, often problematic and well known to her, she gives a cheery morning each day.

He probably greets the people he knows and the rest are a bit of a blur to him. Go and talk to him about something once or twice while he's on the gate - just ask a question or something so he has to interact with you. You will be much more visible to him after that, and also tbh it will change your perception of what is happening.

Could he be looking ahead for children coming in and not really bothering with parents?

The teachers at our school gates only acknowledge the parents who speak to them first and say good morning otherwise they’re preoccupied looking out for kids coming in without parents or ensuring they’re behaving further down the street.

What do you mean ''when we cross him''.- cross him as in walk passed, or cross him as in take him to task over something?
To imagine he is ignoring your greeting, assuming you greet him as you walk passed, is because of your skin colour is absurd.

I think he probably fancies you! And is embarrassed to look

To those saying imagining it, this actually happens a lot with teachers... I remember a really lovely woman at our old school who was from another country and was not Caucasian and not black, the head used to ignore her too, everyone noticed it because he would be saying hello to everyone and then nothing to her, everytime!!

That's not for you to say though is it? Racism in this country is alive and well whether you think it's absurd or not.

Yeah, if he is being rude then I would kill him with politeness and actively engage him. Don't let people get away with being rude. It's not on.

At my kids' prep school the head was like this. In fact, a few of the teachers were too. I was crushed and didn't understand why.

I would be extremely polite and force them to engage with my greeting etc. I didn't care if they hated it. There is no excuse for rudeness.

I am well aware of racism, but to jump to the conclusion that its because of your skin colour when there could be 101 other reason which you may have to consider/take on board. Dont jump to that comclusion

It could very well be racism, just as it could be something else - but the fact is it doesn’t feel right to you.

I would pointedly say ‘good morning Mr X’ and if after a few of weeks of doing this he ignores you every time then I would ask him outright if there’s an issue you’re unaware of that as you’ve wished him good morning for the last few weeks and he’s ignored you whilst wishing other parents good morning.