when the teacher is a bully and retaliates

[elephantsarewonderful]

Hello- difficult post here. My daughter (year9) has a drama teacher who has behaved badly over the last few years. This subject is compulsory until end of year 9. The teacher has favourites who adore her and is cruel to those she doesn't favour. Behaviours include:
Shouting and screaming at individuals in class
Pretending not to understand a child with a marked foreign accent
Making the children act out "abuse" (I find this appalling- what if a child has experienced abuse?!)
Making the new year 7 kids talk (alone, on stage, in front of the class) about their worst experience (my youngest (new in year8) had just lost her rabbits to a fox attack and was reduced to tears. I know some kids have lost a parent and I feel it is deeply inappropriate to dig for a child's worst experience)
Allowing no dispensation for a child with a disability (my older child had to wear a large awkward plastic body brace and requested not to stand on stage in front of everyone in the very first lesson- she was shouted down)
Sending older, favoured kids to send nasty messages like "teacher says you've been dropped from..." or "teacher's really cross with you and wants to see you" (this is classic "queen bee" behaviour)
Finding out a mother had complained then forming the class into a circle and demanding the child whose mother complained stand in the middle and explain themselves
Making children "explain" their surname to the class (we have a foreign surname, associated with a country that we do not know or belong to in terms of nationality or culture)
Making an example of a child in front of the class- usually on stage, alone, with a bright light in their face
Posting videos of the class- without asking permission and telling the kids that they'd better not tell their parents because that would spoil it for the rest and she'd know who the ones spoiling it would be

The list goes on, and on. She is a known problem in the community, however as I said- if she favours you then you'd be elevated to heights unimaginable. The parents of favoured kids would probably argue that she's a brilliant teacher.

My goal is to get my daughters through unscathed. I am scared to complain to the school after the incident in which she made the class stand in a circle and demand the child whose mother complained stand forward and explain themselves. My daughter (year9) would be happy for lockdown to continue in order to avoid this creep. I have a younger daughter (year8) who is better at avoiding the attacks (she has learned to be a sycophant in class and it gets her through) and I don't want to put her in the firing line. I'm tempted to arrange a "doctor's appointment" each time the drama class is on for my older daughter!
As I said I am afraid to talk to the school for fear of repercussions. My year 9 child has half a year left of this and my younger daughter has another year on top to get through, although she's coping better than her older sister. I'm losing sleep over this. I am upset that my kids have to deal with a bully for a teacher. Maybe i need to vent. Maybe I can't do anything more than hug my girls and console them when class is over.
What would you do?

If you don’t stand up to s bully you are part of the problem. If you have solid evidence for these incidents then of course you should report it to the school.

Goodness me - where's your backbone! Unite together if the community know this teacher is a problem. If the school did nothing I would be escalating to the governing body and not a chance in hell my kids would be in that class - mandatory lesson or not.

Complain to the school. The video thing alone is enough to get her in trouble if you have proof it was done without parents permission.

Complain in writing to the Head immediately, listing all the points in your OP. Explain the repercussions that have happened when other children’s parents have complained. Copy in the Chair of Governors. Give them a date by which you expect an acknowledgement of your complaint (the end of the next working day is reasonable), a date by which you want an explanation/outcome/whatever (e.g.two weeks’ time), and say that you want a written guarantee that the teacher will not be allowed to bully children any more. In the same email, ask for a copy of the school’s Anti-Bullying Policy and Safeguarding Policy. Dear God.

Grow a backbone is what I’d do and right off.

Making the children act out "abuse" (I find this appalling- what if a child has experienced abuse?!)

^^ that alone would have me complaining to the LADO at council.

I get how difficult this is op and I know someone who has experienced an adult still in situ after multiple complaints so well understand your fears.

My advice would be to find a way to get older dd out of the class eg book a weekly physio appointment or orthodontist or counselling appointment

So your lesson to your children is that when people abuse their positions they should put their heads down and do nothing? Do you realise how damaging it is to your children to learn that they have to accept bullying from others? I am astonished that this teacher has been able to get through with only one complaint. Stand up from your children. And, compulsory or not, no child of mine would be allowed to attend a class with a teacher like this. Why are all the parents just accepting this?

Complain to the Head. If they don't do anything, take it further.

Is there more than one drama teacher? If so, ask that your daughter be put in a different drama teacher's class next year.

Thanks for the responses, including calling me spineless (!)

I have already complained to the school and with evidence. In theory that's all it should take to get rid of the bully but the truth is that it is harder for the school to get rid of someone. There are procedures that people have to go through. it takes time and considerable effort. As I have said this person has allies- the head teacher's son is one of her favoured kids. She presumably thinks she is doing a good job.

I am not teaching my children to give in to bullies. They know I have complained and they know I abhor her behaviour. They know it is not right. But I am not an all powerful being who can strike a bully in a position of power down just like that, as much as I wish it were possible!

@IdesMarchof

I get how difficult this is op and I know someone who has experienced an adult still in situ after multiple complaints so well understand your fears.

My advice would be to find a way to get older dd out of the class eg book a weekly physio appointment or orthodontist or counselling appointment

Thank you. It is not as easy as some might imagine to deal with.

Afraid of repercussion? What she going to do?

She sounds unhinged. I'd say my dd was not to be in her class again and I would complain to the HT and board of governors listing everything she has done.

Why hasn't she been sacked already?? She sounds ducking awful.

But no way would my child be attending her class.

Unbelievable. Literally.

I suspect she is still there because the school can't keep another member of staff in the drama department as well as the fact that she has allies. The favoured kids get a great experience and their parents are happy. Other drama teachers leave.

I have demanded that my kids get put in classes with other teachers. Then the teachers leave.

I am a teacher and we used to have a music teacher who was very very similar to the drama teacher you've described. He was married to the head so it was an absolute nightmare and he was totally unmanageable. I remember as an NQT standing up to him over remarks he'd made to one of my year 12 form group and ending up shaking afterwards. But I'm still glad I did it - keep standing up to this teacher! If nothing happens you need to go to the governors.

And we had the same problem, that for favoured, talented kids he was brilliant.

If the school can't provide evidence that they are dealing with the problem, I'd contact Ofsted with a safeguarding concern.

The video is cut and dry gross misconduct.

Have you reported that specific incidence to the safeguarding lead? Have you complained to the governors?

@elephantsarewonderful

Thanks for the responses, including calling me spineless (!)

I have already complained to the school and with evidence. In theory that's all it should take to get rid of the bully but the truth is that it is harder for the school to get rid of someone. There are procedures that people have to go through. it takes time and considerable effort. As I have said this person has allies- the head teacher's son is one of her favoured kids. She presumably thinks she is doing a good job.

I am not teaching my children to give in to bullies. They know I have complained and they know I abhor her behaviour. They know it is not right. But I am not an all powerful being who can strike a bully in a position of power down just like that, as much as I wish it were possible!

This is not true at all. It takes 12 weeks to get rid of an incompetent teacher and less for gross misconduct.

Look up the school’s complaints policy and follow it.

As a school governor I would say it needs to be taken to the head of governors & the clerk with a record and detail of when the last complain so the head teacher can be challenged in their decisions. It must have details then this can be discussed at a meeting

Take it to the governors.

Could you group up with the other parents who have complained & go to the head & governors? Might make more of an impact than you on your own.

As someone who was extremely shy in school and struggled to even put up my hand in class this kind of teacher would have destroyed me. I would’ve literally died on the spot if someone had asked me to stand up in class and recall my worst experience (that would definitely have been it). I would’ve been feeling sick all day knowing I had to go into a class like that where I didn’t feel safe. Luckily I found my feet in university but I’ll never be an extrovert. For your kids sake and for the sake of those kids who are being bullied and can’t cope with situations like that you MUST do something. This is bullying, narcissistic behaviour and this person shouldn’t be allowed in a classroom with vulnerable children. One bad teacher can destroy a child’s entire school experience and leave them with lifelong bad memories.

I hate to say this...

How are you sure this is really happening, or that you could be reading it wrong?

I’ve been a secondary school teacher for 25 years. I’ve never heard of a member of staff behaving like this. The odd slip up, but not an orchestrated ongoing issue.

I’m not trying to be horrible, it’s just l wonder if it’s not all as it seems.

It does seem strange!! But I would follow all correct procedures, start with school complaints policy. Yet to get others on board if you can but expect them not to. Send copy to governors to speed it up. Notify LADO and Ofsted and LA if applicable.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

I hate to say this...

How are you sure this is really happening, or that you could be reading it wrong?

I’ve been a secondary school teacher for 25 years. I’ve never heard of a member of staff behaving like this. The odd slip up, but not an orchestrated ongoing issue.

I’m not trying to be horrible, it’s just l wonder if it’s not all as it seems.

I appreciate the question and I am fine with it. It is all too easy to jump to conclusions and be outraged in this digital world. I would rather face a balanced discussion and know that I stand firm. I am afraid that these things are real. I believe that my daughters' experiences are at the worst end of the scale and they probably notice the worst of her actions after being primed by the initial bad experiences. As I have said- the parent of a favoured child would say this teacher is wonderful. I know of other children who were in tears after several of her classes. I began making notes after a couple of stand-out bad experiences. I am not a person who makes notes on teachers (!). I am not the only one to complain to the school. I am not the only one whose child hates the classes and who has had bad experiences. I have talked to other parents who have not taken things further or whose kids brush off the experiences and put it down to this person being unhinged/ mad / bonkers. The teacher is still there and has the support of the head.