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Should I change my daughters school.

7 replies

M201 · 21/05/2019 13:49

I'm torn as to whether I should change my daughters school or not. There have been some issues with some of the other parents at the school ( a specific group of women ) who seem to take it in turns to target other parents such as myself and torment them. The issue with this is, that it is now effecting my child and their friendships. Slowly one by one these women are targeting her friends and saying things ( it's obvious because their behaviour changes ). As an adult I can deal with the unwanted actions of these parents. But for my child, I just can't see it ending and over the past several months I've seen play dates decrease / my child regularly coming home from school upset that they are being left out of social interactions at school and having cruel things said to them. It's worth noting, I won't be the first parent to have experienced the wrath of these people or to leave the school. I don't know the reason why I'm receiving this behaviour either. As although it feels personal, it's been directed at others before. But it's def getting out of hand. I now hate the school run and avoid it also. Any constructive advice appreciated.

OP posts:
HebeMumsnet · 22/05/2019 11:18

Sorry to hear this, OP. It sounds really horrible.

Have you spoken to the school about it? If this has been an issue in the past for others, they might aware and be able to suggest a way forward?

It seems a shame for your DD to have to move schools, but how does she feel about it? If there's another school you could get her into and she'd like to do it, it's maybe worth thinking about.

Hopefully someone will be along soon who will have experience of a similar situation and be able to help more.

loz1986 · 22/05/2019 11:24

Oh I know these type of women well!
I had this with my eldest, getting left out of things.. parties ... social nights out... not in the WhatsApp group! I just ignored it as I have my own social circle so I thought balls to you lot u bi*tches!
It never effected my sons friendships tho so it was fine. That's sounds awful! U should definitely go into the school and explain, they can certainly deal with the kids but as for the parents there is always those type of people around, I doubt they will ever change... just bullies!
Hope u get it sorted x

AAW46 · 22/05/2019 19:15

Hello both thanks for the reply. To be honest if it was restricted to the children I wouldn't mind. I think my concern rises because I know the context behind the reasons these children have changed their behaviour. She does have friends, but slowly I can see this group moving in on them and arranging play dates etc and generally spreading nasty things which I can see filtered through. I'm amazed at the time these people have. I feel quite physically unwell at the thought of going there. And I don't like the feeling and the prospect of several more years is daunting. She's not unhappy at school but always always has a comment at bad things said to her

AAW46 · 22/05/2019 19:20

Ps. I have spoken to the school and they've been fab. They're doing the best they can. What they have said is they can't limit the behaviour of parents outside of school. Am I over worrying about play dates etc. I have 1 child so this is ALL new. She does have a few friends who aren't involved / parents aren't involved. But I worry at how it seems to spread. I don't want her friendships effected later on-if that makes sense ?

Jackielaffertyiscold · 22/05/2019 19:23

How old is she? They sound mental, its bizarre how some grown women behave Shock

AAW46 · 22/05/2019 19:54

Year 1 so a looooong way to go x

HebeMumsnet · 25/05/2019 22:20

Just come back to this thread and seen you've had some helpful advice, OP.

I just wondered, is it worth 'honing in' a bit on some kids whose parents aren't part of this group? Seeing if they want to come round for tea or something, and encouraging your DD to be friends with them? Maybe, subtly mention once you get to know the parents that you've had some issues with a certain group of others. Strength in numbers and all that. If they're passing this strange behaviour on through their children there's probably no point in your DD pursuing those friendships but there must be other children in the class whose parents aren't involved in all this and would also welcome a friendship away from all the drama.

Hope things improve for you both, anyway.

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