baby losing weight; tears of anxiety flowing

[forevermore]

i have a 9 day old baby born 4 weeks early and weighing 6lb 3. Now weighing 5lb 4oz and been told to try to hand express and top up the suckling to make sure she puts weight on. Only managed to hand express 5mls!!!!!
feeling really exasperated and 'down'. Didn't want to formula feed, but feel like if she loses anymore will be forced to!
is this weight loss really serious. should i be formula feeding now?
any advice really appreciated. thanks

Hey forevermore,that sounds great!
Things are on the up-just keep plugging away.

Might raise a smile on your poor tear stained face to know that I am now following your story from Eastern Turkey. last week it was rural North Wales.

(The others are right-ignore your mother's well meaning but ill informed advice. I would even not try to express too much,tempting as this can be,as the baby may get too used to the ease of sucking form a bottle as oppposed work of b/feeding. I think starlover went through something like this.)

The weight gain is excellent news forevermore. I had a similar problem with ds, he too was fairly small at birth and lost over a pound. I just could not get him to feed and could hardly express any either. Unfortunately I paniced and listen to mum and mum-in-law and I believed that he would end up in a hospital being forced fed so I introduced formula and of course my supply went down and within 2 weeks he was fully formula fed.

To put on 6oz in a few days is brilliant you are obviously doing a fantastic job!! You are an inspiration for when I have number 2.

Well done!

Good on you forevermore!
I repeat what others have said, don't let your mum influence you! And don't expect too much empathy from dh either. Like someone said, they want to help you in a practical way rather than simply being there understanding!
Another good book is What Mothers Do (even when it looks like nothing) by Naomi Stadlen. Very affirming.

But things sound good, keep going as you are!

Yes Lizita! That book is on my bookshelf!

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Forevermore - that is really good news about weight gain, pees and poos. Sounds as though you are very much on the right track. Ignore your mum - you do not need formula.

If your DD only wants to feed 20 minutes that is absolutely fine. She does not need to take 40 minutes. Try not to time her feeds at all. Sometimes she will take long ones and sometimes she will take short ones.

2.5- 3 hours between feeds during the day will be fine now by thge sounds of things. Do not wake her during the night - let her wake on her own and see what happens. It is unlikely she will go much longer than 4 hours anyway. She will feed better if she wakes on her own.

Well done you

Forevermore, well done you for the 6oz weight gain. What a great job you are doing. My good friend was really worried about her little one who at 5 weeks old, used to only feed for 5 MINUTES at each feed with 2-3 hours between each feed. She was frantic that her baby would not be putting weight on so we went to the baby clinic together to get her weighed. She put on 9oz in a week and continued with her very quick feeds and a similar weight gain until she was about 10 weeks old. The HV said she must just have very fast let-down which is possibly what you have. Lucky you I say as I used to BF for over an hour every two hours and my DS's weight gain was nothing which is why I switched to bottles.

Keep up the good work, I so wish I'd stuck with it like you are doing.

excellent news on weight gain .. see its working

if it helps, neither of my children ever fed for longer than 10 minutes at a time .. the 40 minutes really isn't something to aim for because it is so dependent on how your milk comes out .. I used to continue to spray milk (went really far and for quite a while) once baby unlatched .. some of us do, some of us don't

now she's gaining weight I think you can start to relax a little .. you are doing really well

Brilliant, Forevermore! Ignore the doubters - you are doing a fantastic job!

dont worry my son failed to gain weight for over a month hv was putting preasure on me to formula feed although i declined and continued and persevered with breast feeding my son started gaining weight i breastfeed him until 2.5 years he is now nearly 4 and is a real steardy lad !!!
go with your instinct dont be preasured she is your baby also ensure you are eating a well balnced diet with lots of fluid and im sure if you are relaxed in your self things will work out.

Welldone forevermore.

I can only repeat what Mears says. While we were told to wake DS if he slept too long between feeds, he never actually slept longer than two hours at a time at first. I would have loved him to sleep a bit longer. When he settleed into 4-hourly feeds at night it all went a MUCH BETTER, because i was getting more rest and could cope a lot better feeling less exhausted.

As for timing how long the feed takes - time is not the important thing. They each feed for a different amount of time (some are more efficient even at this early stage) so if it takes 10 min or 40 min, just do it till she is satisfied and don't worry how long she takes. It does not indicate how much she is getting, and you are only stressing yourself by watching the clock. Anyway, as you say she does let you know when she is hungry.

Also, I think you are doing a brilliant job. Many of us have been through this and you are doing exactly the right things. While your MIL and HV might be well meaning - they are giving you some questionable advice - try to ignore them and look after yourself.