What am I doing wrong!! Day from hell!

[Mollydolly]

Can anyone enlighten me - had the day from hell breastfeeding my 6 week old dd2. For the last couple of days she has had blocked/snuffly nose (not running/green/no temp so don't think it's a cold)Consequently feding has been a little difficult, however today has been horrific beginning with dd wanting short feeds (15 mins)every 2 hours from midnihgt last night til 9 this am. finally she went to sleep from 9.30am til 11.30 when she woke for a feed and has wanted feeding ever since! The day/feeds have gone like this - she is thrashing about a lot on the breast, grunting,straining and going red in face (not constipated tho)and doesnt seem to be satisfied (definately feeding tho - can hear her gulping) She is absolutely tired out but won't sleep for any lengh of time - she dozes after 10 mins on breast then wakes up screaming as soon as I put her down until I feed her again. She is latching on like she is starving every time. Can anyone help me? I am at my wits end, tired out and am worried about her - is she feeding long enough to ever get any hind milk? Could she be ill? I am on the verge of calling the doctor - can anyone help?

oh, please feel free to CAT me if you want

OMG so pleased to hear that! I'm not enjoying bf either. But I keep hearing loads of people saying how much they love it so feel awful for thinking it is a chore and actually quite stressful when dd is thrashing about and not feeding well. I do express once a day so dh can feed her and I love having that back up to give me a break. I have settled into a system of bf that works for me for the time being but sometimes I am so tempted to count down the weeks to when I can stop and not feel guilty about it!

Abow - how old is your DD/DS and would love to hear about your system....

Nearly 10 weeks old. I struggled with bf in early days. Dd never took from one breast and I tried and tried to get her to take but she never did so gave up at 7 weeks. Because she had never fed from that breast, the milk flow never kicked off. It was a relief to give up because dd would get frustrated and scream and I got tired and fed up.

So now, I only feed from side. Dd hates me moving once shes latched (even a cough or sneeze can cause her to scream) so I sit on the floor with my back against something (eg sofa). I have a cushion on my leg in a particular position to make dd comfy. If my breast is engorged I express a bit. Sometimes I have to use a nipple shield in order for dd to latch. I always have something on my chest for her to hold (like a muslin or tissue) otherwise she will scratch or punch me to pieces. And I have to avoid bf anywhere too busy or in front of the tv etc otherwise she won't concentrate. This has all taken lots of trial and error and some extremely frustrating episodes. If we are having a bf session that is really not going well, I give up after about half an hour and express. Then dh feeds her with a bottle. Now this is happening maybe once a week - it was a lot more frequent a couple of weeks ago.(This is easy for me because dh isn't working and is home all the time. We have a strict rule that I bf and do not bottle feed, to avoid any teat-nipple confusion if we can). Early on we did use the odd bit of formula if I was struggling to express a decent amount. And we used formula in hospital if she didn't bf because she had lost more than 10% of her weight and they weren't going to let us out!

Yesterday was a nightmare because dd had her first vaccinations and was really fussy all day. So she didn't settle for two feeds yesterday.

Personally, I think those first few days in hospital really set us off badly. Dd was delivered by ventouse and naturally had a sore head. But midwives (admittedly they were all trying to be helpful) kept grabbing her head and forcing her face into my boob. I think it was sore and frightening for her and put her off bf. It wasn't until I got home that she latched for the first time and it took another 3 weeks for her to have a decent bfeed.

Sorry thats was rather a long reply!

I'm back - dd woke again and since I last posted tonight (8.38pm) she has fed then slept then woken and fed again about 4 times. She is now sat quietly on dh's knee just staring into space looking sleepy - she is so tired but just will not give in! Blossom, will CAT you later, but for now know what you mean about PND - far from helping me bond with dd2, sometimes feel that bf'ing is actually hindering the process.... Abow, the one side thing is also a problem for me. dd intermittently refuses the left side and this is very frustrating particularly when the right is getting a bit tender!

blossom and molly
i feel for you both, your emotions are so exactly like i was this time last year.
the guilt for the other child is humongous
and the stress of feeding, plus your hormones

i thought that dd would never come round to ds, but it did happen and it settled down and she came to adore him (now there are moments)

plus i found the breastfeeding so hard/stressful. but i am still doing it and he was 1 last sat ( 2 feeds am & pm)

in the early days i got into a routine with dd that i read her a story when i was feeding ds, as i had that 1 hand free (something u dont have bottlefeeding), she cuddled up and then started to feed her baby too. maybe she was an accepting child i know some arent and its harder. plus hse is a girl 1st born, maybe boys are harder with a 2nd, i dont know

i was giving up feeding so often, threads heret to prive it, but i didnt in the end and around 4mths it was in such a pattern it was no bother.
i was quite regimental and he only got it when i knew he needed it, (i am not a demand feeder, after the initial growth spurts have passed).

molly the breastfeeding wont hinder the process, i know its driving u mad but have you contacted any la leche league or breastfeeding support groups just for chat on the phone maybe
i did and found my closest rep really down to earth.
hth

i'm off to bed now ... DH feed DD2 a bottle of formula at 10.30pm and she still isn't asleep 9no surprise there!! ). DD2 also seems to get the hiccups after every feed which is a pain because then she can't get to sleep or feed properly. is this amount of hiccups normal?!?!?

even after all the issues, DD2 still very beautiful and i love her to bits ....

hope all our nights are better tonight

Mollydolly, you need to talk to someone who really knows about bf. Ask them about the possibility that you have a generous milk supply - this can cause colicky symptoms in the baby, and is characterised by the sort of unsettled behaviour and massive weight gain you describe in your baby. It is worth trying one sided feeding for these babies - feeding on one side only for several feeds on the trot (search one sided feeding under my nick and you will find more details).

how was today Mollydolly & Abow???

DD2 did the non-stop feeding fom 10am to 3pm today and didn't cry as much as yesterday. i think she definitely has colic as she has also got very bad gas!!
last night was okay (woke at 4.00am, feed, back to cot to sleep and then at 6.30am but just swaddled her again and she went straight back to sleep). it think it was a fluke!!

Hi Blossom

I agree that despite my whinging I love dd to bits. She is a very content baby who sleeps well. She simply doesn't settle at the breast very well. Shes not colic-y but she does posset a lot. In the scheme of things thats not so bad. So nights aren't too bad. Late afternoons and evenings are the worst for me because she gets grumpy and is even more difficult to settle for a feed.

Hope last night was ok for you guys. xx