What am I doing wrong!! Day from hell!

[Mollydolly]

Can anyone enlighten me - had the day from hell breastfeeding my 6 week old dd2. For the last couple of days she has had blocked/snuffly nose (not running/green/no temp so don't think it's a cold)Consequently feding has been a little difficult, however today has been horrific beginning with dd wanting short feeds (15 mins)every 2 hours from midnihgt last night til 9 this am. finally she went to sleep from 9.30am til 11.30 when she woke for a feed and has wanted feeding ever since! The day/feeds have gone like this - she is thrashing about a lot on the breast, grunting,straining and going red in face (not constipated tho)and doesnt seem to be satisfied (definately feeding tho - can hear her gulping) She is absolutely tired out but won't sleep for any lengh of time - she dozes after 10 mins on breast then wakes up screaming as soon as I put her down until I feed her again. She is latching on like she is starving every time. Can anyone help me? I am at my wits end, tired out and am worried about her - is she feeding long enough to ever get any hind milk? Could she be ill? I am on the verge of calling the doctor - can anyone help?

[ABow]

Hi Blossom

I agree that despite my whinging I love dd to bits. She is a very content baby who sleeps well. She simply doesn't settle at the breast very well. Shes not colic-y but she does posset a lot. In the scheme of things thats not so bad. So nights aren't too bad. Late afternoons and evenings are the worst for me because she gets grumpy and is even more difficult to settle for a feed.

Hope last night was ok for you guys. xx

[blossom2]

how was today Mollydolly & Abow???

DD2 did the non-stop feeding fom 10am to 3pm today and didn't cry as much as yesterday. i think she definitely has colic as she has also got very bad gas!!
last night was okay (woke at 4.00am, feed, back to cot to sleep and then at 6.30am but just swaddled her again and she went straight back to sleep). it think it was a fluke!!

[tiktok]

Mollydolly, you need to talk to someone who really knows about bf. Ask them about the possibility that you have a generous milk supply - this can cause colicky symptoms in the baby, and is characterised by the sort of unsettled behaviour and massive weight gain you describe in your baby. It is worth trying one sided feeding for these babies - feeding on one side only for several feeds on the trot (search one sided feeding under my nick and you will find more details).

[blossom2]

i'm off to bed now ... DH feed DD2 a bottle of formula at 10.30pm and she still isn't asleep 9no surprise there!! ). DD2 also seems to get the hiccups after every feed which is a pain because then she can't get to sleep or feed properly. is this amount of hiccups normal?!?!?

even after all the issues, DD2 still very beautiful and i love her to bits ....

hope all our nights are better tonight

[hermykne]

blossom and molly
i feel for you both, your emotions are so exactly like i was this time last year.
the guilt for the other child is humongous
and the stress of feeding, plus your hormones

i thought that dd would never come round to ds, but it did happen and it settled down and she came to adore him (now there are moments)

plus i found the breastfeeding so hard/stressful. but i am still doing it and he was 1 last sat ( 2 feeds am & pm)

in the early days i got into a routine with dd that i read her a story when i was feeding ds, as i had that 1 hand free (something u dont have bottlefeeding), she cuddled up and then started to feed her baby too. maybe she was an accepting child i know some arent and its harder. plus hse is a girl 1st born, maybe boys are harder with a 2nd, i dont know

i was giving up feeding so often, threads heret to prive it, but i didnt in the end and around 4mths it was in such a pattern it was no bother.
i was quite regimental and he only got it when i knew he needed it, (i am not a demand feeder, after the initial growth spurts have passed).

molly the breastfeeding wont hinder the process, i know its driving u mad but have you contacted any la leche league or breastfeeding support groups just for chat on the phone maybe
i did and found my closest rep really down to earth.
hth

[Mollydolly]

I'm back - dd woke again and since I last posted tonight (8.38pm) she has fed then slept then woken and fed again about 4 times. She is now sat quietly on dh's knee just staring into space looking sleepy - she is so tired but just will not give in! Blossom, will CAT you later, but for now know what you mean about PND - far from helping me bond with dd2, sometimes feel that bf'ing is actually hindering the process.... Abow, the one side thing is also a problem for me. dd intermittently refuses the left side and this is very frustrating particularly when the right is getting a bit tender!

[ABow]

Nearly 10 weeks old. I struggled with bf in early days. Dd never took from one breast and I tried and tried to get her to take but she never did so gave up at 7 weeks. Because she had never fed from that breast, the milk flow never kicked off. It was a relief to give up because dd would get frustrated and scream and I got tired and fed up.

So now, I only feed from side. Dd hates me moving once shes latched (even a cough or sneeze can cause her to scream) so I sit on the floor with my back against something (eg sofa). I have a cushion on my leg in a particular position to make dd comfy. If my breast is engorged I express a bit. Sometimes I have to use a nipple shield in order for dd to latch. I always have something on my chest for her to hold (like a muslin or tissue) otherwise she will scratch or punch me to pieces. And I have to avoid bf anywhere too busy or in front of the tv etc otherwise she won't concentrate. This has all taken lots of trial and error and some extremely frustrating episodes. If we are having a bf session that is really not going well, I give up after about half an hour and express. Then dh feeds her with a bottle. Now this is happening maybe once a week - it was a lot more frequent a couple of weeks ago.(This is easy for me because dh isn't working and is home all the time. We have a strict rule that I bf and do not bottle feed, to avoid any teat-nipple confusion if we can). Early on we did use the odd bit of formula if I was struggling to express a decent amount. And we used formula in hospital if she didn't bf because she had lost more than 10% of her weight and they weren't going to let us out!

Yesterday was a nightmare because dd had her first vaccinations and was really fussy all day. So she didn't settle for two feeds yesterday.

Personally, I think those first few days in hospital really set us off badly. Dd was delivered by ventouse and naturally had a sore head. But midwives (admittedly they were all trying to be helpful) kept grabbing her head and forcing her face into my boob. I think it was sore and frightening for her and put her off bf. It wasn't until I got home that she latched for the first time and it took another 3 weeks for her to have a decent bfeed.

Sorry thats was rather a long reply!

[blossom2]

Abow - how old is your DD/DS and would love to hear about your system....

[ABow]

OMG so pleased to hear that! I'm not enjoying bf either. But I keep hearing loads of people saying how much they love it so feel awful for thinking it is a chore and actually quite stressful when dd is thrashing about and not feeding well. I do express once a day so dh can feed her and I love having that back up to give me a break. I have settled into a system of bf that works for me for the time being but sometimes I am so tempted to count down the weeks to when I can stop and not feel guilty about it!

[blossom2]

oh, please feel free to CAT me if you want

[blossom2]

I know where you are Mollydolly - i'm in exactly the same place.

for me, i'm in an almost no-win situation - if i give up too early, the guilt would kill me, but at the same time i'm not really that happy, don't feel in control, lack of confidence, frustrated at times (DH would like me to continue). All these emotions could lead to PND etc....

i've had 2 glasses of wine btw so apologies for rambling....

[hercules]

No, blossom2, what's best for baby is a happy mum.

[Mollydolly]

Thank the stars! It's not just me then? I am not enjoying it, not at all, but it doesn't seem the done thing to admit that! Like you am trying to do the "right thing", but m also struggling with not neglecting my 4 yr old. Dh is totally supportive though and says that if going on bottles makes me happier, then I should do it. Must add that the only pressure I feel to continue is that which I am putting on myself....

[bumpylump]

sounds like you've got a baby that loves to suck, if she likes her dummy and that calms her for a bit, then when she realises nothings coming out of it get fracious try a little warm water in a bottle. DS did exactly the same and kept overeating/being sick cycle. hmmm, your breatfeeding though so I could be giving you the wrong advice It's just what worked for me.

[blossom2]

the idea of expressing is seriously tempting, although have resisted so far. On friday i would have been breastfeeding for 4 weeks so its a record for me - rewarded myself with a lovely shawl. I've even breastfed in public 3 times now (and its not done in paris).
i'm finding it all really confusing, unsettling and generally not very enjoyable. also having a 3.5 yr old makes it worse. i enjoy it at weekends when DH is at home but during the week its a pain and I wonder how long DD1 will tolerate me spending so much time with DD2.

So to sum up, i hate it really..... not really sure why i'm doing it apart from the 'its best for baby' arguement...

[bumpylump]

OHG just read back what I wrote, meant the baby is the loudest snorer in the bedroom

[Mollydolly]

Bumpy - I wind her once during and after feed and she does burp quite well most times but not always. She is sick a bit most feeds though, someitmes copious amounts, sometimes only a little or not at all. My mum thinks she is a greedy baby, specially considering her weight gain, and that she overfeeds and sicks up the excess. (DH has just come back from driving dd round the block and she is finally asleep - good old dh!!) Blossom - know what you mean about the confidence thing - didn't actually bf dd1 -expressed as she was in SCBU due to being 11 weeks prem - I never know whether I am doing the right things re feeding and miss the satisfaction of watching a bottle emptying. Silly really cos I know the benefits of breastfeeding. How is it going for you?

[bumpylump]

ummm that's loudest, (this wine's good)

[bumpylump]

ummm that's loudest, (this wine's good)

[bumpylump]

my ds is 13 wks now and is still soooo mucus/snuffly, I've been so worried have seen 2 doctors and they have both sed his chest is ok it's in the back of his throat. (he snores the loadest in the bedroom now and that's saying something!)

[blossom2]

oh, DD2 also has a nose issue at the moment, with grunting/blocked nose noises. they have devices which you can suck out mucus from babies noses here and it works really well. she does seem to settle & sleep better when her nose is clear, but god she really hates it & i hate doing it to her. i wonder if having mucus without a cold is common in babies?? they were cleaning her nose daily at the hospital ...hhmmm must investigate and i'll let you know what i find ...

[bumpylump]

Do you get wind up after she feeds Mollydolly? as in does she do a great big lovely burp?

[blossom2]

DD2 is just 4 weeks. I'm thinking it might be colic and gave her infocal and she has been asleep since 7pm (paris time) so fingers crossed!!

i'm new to breastfeeding and it seems to have taken all my confidence - ie not knowing whats normal etc.

[Mollydolly]

blossom2 - how old is your little one?

[Mollydolly]

Thanks bumpy, I feel a little better knowing I'm not the only one for whom bf'ing isn't a walk in the park - is this "normal" behaviour for a breast fed baby then or could it be colic or reflux? Any thoughts?