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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Extended bfers -am I doing the right thing?

31 replies

Besom · 16/03/2010 19:41

I have cancelled an operation I was supposed to be having because I found out that part of the medication I would have to take would stop me being able to bf dd for 2 days.

I don't absolutely have to have this op - it would save me some pain and discomfort.

DD is 22 months and obviously she could physically manage for 2 days without, but she feeds often (still day and night at the moment). I think that a 2 day stoppage would be a lot for her to cope with and she wouldn't be able to understand why I was there but not feeding her. Also, not sure I can cope with hysterics from her post op as DH would have to go back to work the following day and would not be there to try to distract her.

I think the medics and my family (except dh) think i'm being a bit mad/over protective.

What do you think?

OP posts:

zapostrophe · 16/03/2010 19:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 16/03/2010 19:47

Can't you express some milk for her leading up to the op then at least she is still getting the taste and the benefits. I wouldn't imagine 2 days of not feeding her would cause her to wean. Could you tell her that your milk has gone away for a bit but will be back soon, when you are having the op. Would she understand that?

Aranea · 16/03/2010 19:49

I think you and your dh need to prioritise you a bit more! Surely he could arrange to take some holiday so that he would be there to help you? If it were me, I think I would go ahead on the proviso that dh were there to do most of the childcare for 2 days. Presumably you'll be feeling at least fragile for a couple of days post op and possibly in a bit of pain?

Depending on how often your dd is feeding I would expect that a couple of days of upset would be got over pretty quickly, especially if you weren't sitting down with her for those couple of days and your dh was keeping her busy.

cakeforbrains · 16/03/2010 19:55

Have you checked that you definitely can not feed for two days? I had an op when bf DS2 was 6months. The consultant told me that I wouldn't be able to feed for 48hrs, but I did some research and discovered that actually there was no need to stop feeding as long as I felt up to it.

Original poster

Besom · 16/03/2010 19:58

She's not quite able to understand waiting for things yet. She can get very upset (full blown tantrums) if I refuse her and especially if tired.

I've never managed expressing but tbh I don't think a cup would cut the mustard. It would be easier if I wasn't around at all.

The op is because of missed miscarriage and was supposed to be tomorrow. Without it i will have to let things go their natural course (which some choose to do anyway) but I am a bit scared by the prospect.

OP posts:

Aranea · 16/03/2010 20:01

Oh Besom, that's a bit different from another kind of operation. Much more emotionally loaded. I'm so sorry about the miscarriage.

You need to do whatever will be least upsetting for you and I can well imagine that in those circumstances you might prefer to let things run their natural course and feel you were protecting your dd from upset.

Original poster

Besom · 16/03/2010 20:05

cakeforbrains - they had checked it with pharmacist and seemed to know what they were talking about. There is often not much research about these things i think.

Aranea - i think you are probably right. I will speak to dh again tonight.

OP posts:

Original poster

Besom · 16/03/2010 20:09

x post Arenea. I should have said in th op, sorry. Shoul also posssibly have posted in different section but they might not have known about bfing. And you are still right about dh and his time off.

Thanks for kind words.

OP posts:

theyoungvisiter · 16/03/2010 20:18

I agree with Aranea, I think your DD would ultimately be fine with the temporary stoppage but it's whether YOU would be fine with dealing with her solo that's the concern. I know from my two boys that trying not to feed a fractious toddler is incredibly demanding, and not a picnic, particularly if you are feeling under the weather yourself.

I think ultimately it depends whether you really want the op or not - if you want it I think you need to insist that your DH supports you in staying home to look after your DD and maybe you might want to take some time away. I agree that it can be confusing to try to explain why you suddenly won't (as it seems to them) feed a toddler. Sometimes it's easier just to remove you from the equation, especially if she's used to spending time with your DH. I really think that your DH needs to prioritise you in this situation - you've got a lot to deal with and fighting off a fractious toddler is not really necessary. If his work is a problem perhaps you could ask if they could reschedule the op for a Friday so that your DH can be there over the weekend?

The other thing is, it might be worth posting again with a different subject header (if you can bear it) to ask whether anyone else has had this op while bfing and if so, whether the drugs were a problem. It's just possible there are alternatives/other solutions that haven't been investigated.

Original poster

Besom · 16/03/2010 20:28

Youngvisitor - I will do that in the miscarriage topic, thanks.

OP posts:

chandellina · 16/03/2010 20:48

Besom, sorry about your miscarriage. I would definitely try to delve further about the drugs - I had a general anaesthetic for a different operation whilst BFing and was told I could BF right away upon discharge later in the same day. I've also had the ERPC I assume you are having and pain relief offered after was optional and not really necessary.
Having gone through a natural miscarriage and a medical one, I do have to say the latter was preferable.

Original poster

Besom · 16/03/2010 20:58

Hi chndellina - it is the misoprostal pessary which they say is the problem, rather than the anaesthetic.

Apparently not everyone needs this with ERPC but I would because I previously had a section so my cervix will not be softened up enough.

I'm very confused about it all as you might imagine. Not sure what to do for the best at all.

OP posts:

CMOTdibbler · 16/03/2010 21:03

I can't see why you would need the pessary - I didn't have it for either of mine, and I'd never had a birth at all

hellymelly · 16/03/2010 21:07

I completely understand as I would hesitate over that and my dd is nearly three.Probably now I would go ahead and explain to her,expressing for a week before to store enough.my dd has never had a bottle,I assume yours is the same,but maybe you could give her some expressed milk in a bottle for one/two feeds over a couple of weeks and then she would be geared up to have a bottle for a couple of days while you are out of action,and then you can resume feeding as normal afterwards.

hellymelly · 16/03/2010 21:09

I am sorry about your miscarriage by the way,I hadn't read all the messages when I posted.I think in your situation I would leave it to nature but everyone feels differently about this and I see that maybe that would be hard.

Original poster

Besom · 16/03/2010 21:10

CMOTdibbler - That's strange then. That's what they told me today. I suppose it must just be different practices in different hospitals?

OP posts:

CantSleepWontSleep · 16/03/2010 21:17

hellymelly - if she waits a couple of weeks then she is quite likely to have the miscarriage naturally anyway.

I'm very sorry for your loss besom.
I would normally recommend a medical m/c over a natural one, but in your situation, if you really can't feed with this drug, and there's no alternative drug, then I think that I would opt for the natural one. Your hormones will be all over the place with the m/c as it is, so to add in the hormone changes associated with suddenly stopping bf could be a bit much to cope with.

I didn't need the pessary when I had my ERPC, so not sure exactly what it does, but if it's just to open the cervix then could they not use prostin (the drug they use for inductions)? I have had loads of prostin to induce my ds whilst I was still feeding my dd.

CantSleepWontSleep · 16/03/2010 21:18

I cross posted with your second message hellymelly .

CMOTdibbler · 16/03/2010 21:20

Probably. But looking at the Merck website for it, they show a very rapid excretion of Misoprotol from the blood, plus the pessary dose is 1/4 of the oral dose, so you would seem to not find any in your milk after a couple of hours.

Also, considering they use it during induction of labour to ripen the cervix, it can't necessitate a 2 day non breastfeeding time for a 22 month old if a newborn would be OK would it ?

Original poster

Besom · 16/03/2010 21:23

CantSleep - maybe I should phone and ask them that.

Thanks everyone.

OP posts:

tiktok · 16/03/2010 23:36

Sorry about your situation, Besom.

Is this Misoprostol we are talking about?

You can check for yourself here.

toxnet.nlm.nih.gov/cgi-bin/sis/htmlgen?LACT

There seems to be no possible reason why bf would not continue....can you share this with your doctors, Besom?

intercoursethepenguin · 16/03/2010 23:41

Why this obsession with BF, give the kid some formula, she won't know the difference, and get yourself sorted out.

boiledeggandsoldiers · 17/03/2010 00:07

Besom, sorry for your loss.

Agree that it is worth questioning whether you need the pessary and if you do, whether you really cannot breastfeed for two days. I have used the Breastfeeding Network?s Drugs in breastmilk helpline (0844 412 4665)after being recommended by a midwife. It is the service that the midwives use if they are not sure whether a mum can continue to breastfeed after a particular drug. The pharmacist that runs it is a lovely lady and can advise on exactly this sort of question.

I experienced a similar situation with my two year old DS when I had to go away without him for a few days. My milk did not dry up, I had to hand express at the times I would normally have breastfed him to keep myself comfortable and the milk supply was fine after that. I would second the suggestion to get your husband to take some time off, so he can look after DD and you can be out of her way, either entirely, or at least during the usual breastfeeding times. If you are trying to prevent her having milk from you, it could get upsetting for you and your daughter, particularly if you are feeling a bit emotionally fragile. Hope that helps x

boiledeggandsoldiers · 17/03/2010 00:12

Sorry I meant to add that I have had the EPRC operation for one missed mc and let nature take its course for another, and I found that for me, having the operation was the better option emotionally. I would be tempted to rebook the operation if at all possible.

Original poster

Besom · 17/03/2010 09:24

I will look at website tiktok and phone number boiled eggs thanks.

dh tried to settle dd last night and she screamed and cried for over an hour before he gave up (probably making it harder for next time). I really don't think I can put any of us through that for 2 days and nights without being in the right frame of mind for it first. I would need to be in the house - there isn't really anywhere else that I can go.

I had planned to night wean soon but planned to take some time off work, dh and I would do it together etc, so we do it properly and don't go at it half cocked.

OP posts:

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