Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Other People's Breast Milk

53 replies

RubyBuckleberry · 04/03/2010 20:09

Fascinating programme on 'unusual' (for our time / culture) feeding habits. Would you feed another woman's child? Would you allow your own child to be fed / comforted by another woman?

And anything else the programme brings up...

here

OP posts:
Original poster
RubyBuckleberry · 04/03/2010 21:05

in fact i'm sure i've seen a story of a chinese woman bfing lots of orphans after a natural disaster...

OP posts:
Original poster
RubyBuckleberry · 04/03/2010 21:06

yup

you go lady

OP posts:
cravingcroissants · 04/03/2010 21:06

Yes I would feed someone elses baby in an 'emergency', mother was ill, unable to feed etc.
BUT I'm really not sure if I would like another mum to feed my baby, though maybe EBM would be ok?? Mmmm. Not sure.
I think it's a lovely thing to do just not sure how I would feel in that situation.

TruthSweet · 04/03/2010 21:46

A friend and I have DDs born 3 weeks apart and we were at a child free wedding. We ended up in DH's car pumping together and she was going to dump her milk as her DD wouldn't drink ebm. I just couldn't see it go to waste so suggested I take it home. Luckily that Kate Garraway prog had just been on so she thought it was a good idea.

I have no idea when DD drank that milk as I didn't mark the container 'friend's milk' but she never turned her nose up at any!

loopyloo82 · 05/03/2010 08:31

Yes and yes from me.

My mum has told me a story about when I was a small baby; she was driving myself, a friend and the friend's baby (also breastfed) on a long journey and I wouldn't stop crying. This was in the days before car-seats were compulsory, so her friend attempted to feed me. I apparently rejected it, but I always think it is a lovely story anyway; it just sounds natural to try to comfort a crying baby in the best way you can.

StealthPolarBear · 05/03/2010 08:34

no idea
think i'd feel quite odd with both ut might
no problems with othersdoing it, or ebm

thighsmadeofcheddar · 05/03/2010 08:38

Yes and yes from me too.
My SIL had lots of problems establishing breast feeding and the hospital gave her lots of expressed milk from the milk bank. She was really grateful.

helenwombat · 05/03/2010 08:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eggontoast · 05/03/2010 09:04

For a family member, yes I would feed their child if asked, I would not dare to offer. I would not ask, but if they offered, and they were close, like sister (I don't actually have one) then maybe if it was 'needed' I would have them feed my child.

I don't personally see any reason to do it 'for the sake' iyswim, just in a mothers time of need, what ever that may be (ie. long wished for night on the tiles etc. or hospital stay etc.)

I would only feed a strangers baby, or allow stranger to feed mine in extremely extenuating circumstances, given risk of infectious diseases etc.

DitaVonCheese · 05/03/2010 09:14

I'm fine with both too. I was fed by an aunt when I was a baby and my cousin was fed by another aunt (and that's just the swapping I know about!). I told SIL when she babysat that she could bfeed DD if necessary and have offered to feed my relatives' babies (though none of them took me up on it!).

Lexilicious · 05/03/2010 09:21

My friend had her 2nd baby two months after mine, and was painfully engorged at 5 days pp or whenever it was that we visited. Can't remember whether she asked or I offered but my son did a good job relieving the pain for her and then as the nipple was no longer doing that half-inverted thing that happens when the boob is so full, it was easier to latch the teeny baby on.

Wouldn't offer a stranger's baby my boob, not from eewww or wrongness, just don't think it's likely they'd accept and would then end up defending myself. Would in an emergency, easily - who was that lady on these boards who gave someone else EBM who'd run out of bottles on a journey when they were stuck on the A3 in the snow a few weeks ago?

Idontknowhowtohelpher · 05/03/2010 09:59

This is quite an interesting site www.ukamb.org/. I had a friend who donated her surplus milk and she was so pleased that it wasn't going to be wasted.

awaywiththehairies · 05/03/2010 10:04

am running with the idea of an elite crack force of breastfeeding mothers to be parachuted into disaster zones in a sort of 4th emergency service sort of way.

Mark my words - this thread will end up on The Wright Stuff next week!

On a serious note, if there wasn't the social stigma within our culture about this then it might give bf mothers a wee bit more freedom whilst safe in the knowledge that their babies are still getting the best. My DD would never touch formula milk (or cows milk for that matter) nor would she drink from a bottle. As such, it was me me me all the time until she was weaned and could survive my momentary absence with a yoghurt.

Original poster
RubyBuckleberry · 05/03/2010 11:49

completely agree awaywiththehairies - i am thinking agency breastfeeders too

apparently during hurricane katrina there were real problems amongst ff mums and babies as there was no clean water / formula .

OP posts:
thedollshouse · 05/03/2010 11:58

No and no. I have no problem with others doing it I just find the idea uncomfortable, not sure why. I would be happy to accept donated breast milk and I would donate milk myself.

I remember a couple of years back reading an article about a woman who offered to feed a strangers baby in an airport queue as she could see the mother was having difficulties. I would have been offended if I was the mother but each to their own I guess.

Lexilicious · 05/03/2010 17:26

I suppose that's the way to offer - "can I help in any way" and some way of phrasing the "it looks like you're struggling" part without it going down the wrong way. You never know, the answer could come back 'well, not unless you're lactating' and ta-da! well indeed I can help you there. I still think most people are too wary of strangers to accept help which is sad. I had the classic struggling on a bus (with-a-buggy-and-more-shopping-than-I'd-intended-to-be-coming-home-with) moment today so I have been thinking about this more than I might otherwise.

Reallytired · 05/03/2010 17:36

I have donated breastmilk and I would accept donated breastmilk if needed. I would not want another woman to breastfeed my baby anymore than I would another woman to sleep with my husband.

Donating breastmilk is not the same as cross feeding. I have no idea what babies my breastmilk went to. I hope they are are alive and well, but I certainly have no emotional bond with them.

missismac · 05/03/2010 18:11

Never thought I would, but my BF had a very hard time with a poorly DH when her daughter was just 12 wks, my son was 6 months then & fully BF. I knew that if I could've got to her (we live a hundred miles away) I would have BF her daughter at night to give her some rest. I couldn't go so it didn't happen, but we discussed it after & she agreed that she'd have been happy to do that. Equally I know that I would've been happy for her to BF my son.

10 years ago there's no way I would've imagined myself saying that, but feeding my children has completely altered my attitudes to BF now.

MamaGoblin · 05/03/2010 19:52

I'd be happy to bf another person's baby if I had permission or there were dire, extreme straits involved. And I don't think I'd be upset if it happened the other way round, although would rather be asked first. I can't really imagine a scenario where it would happen, though.

As for a baby refusing another breast, nipples are surrounded by little ducts that produce oil that smells uniquely of You, and a lot of people think this is key to a newborn baby learning to latch on and to suckle - it's a smell thing as much as anything else. So quite possibly a baby wouldn't want someone else's nipple if it smelt very Other.

On the other hand, my 2 yr old DS does occasionally grope Granny and ask for 'Buda' .

WorzselMummage · 05/03/2010 20:01

My DD had lots of donated breastmilk when she was tiny.

Thankyou all you donaters !

WoTmania · 05/03/2010 20:40

yes (I find it v hard holding upset babies and not offering them milk) and probably - thinking me not there/unable to bf

FrumpyPumpy · 05/03/2010 21:03

OK with both. When I was still BFing DS we went away for the weekend with friends. I knew I'd drink a lot so took some frozen expressed BM. Friends DS got fed a bottle of my BM from the fridge by accident rather than formula. Fine by me and she wasn't arsed much bothered.

scardypants · 05/03/2010 21:23

I read a lovely story in a magazine a few weeks ago. A lady had sent in a picture of her and another lady who she referred to as her milk sister. Their mums were friends when they were babies and her mum had difficulty feeding her so the friend fed her instead and from then on they called eachother milk sisters.

Yes and yes, no problem.

dawntigga · 06/03/2010 09:33

As a contributor to the http://www.chestermilkbank.org.uk/ Human Milk Bank I have. It's nice to be able to do something like that and it takes about 15 minutes a day.

I'dEncouragePeopleToDoItTiggaxx

rubyslippers · 06/03/2010 19:27

I have checked out that milk bank thing - as i have had a transfusion i can't do it