Photo of DS2 today has gotten me worried... :( Come and re-assure me!

[angel1976]

Hi all,

Can you all please do me a favour? Come and look at the two photos of my two very beautiful DSs that I have posted on my profile and tell me that DS2 looks healthy? I took the photo of DS2 (I've been taking photos of both DSs in same clothes at around same age for comparison) today and having posted it next to photo of DS1 at the same age, it has gotten me worried!

Background: I tried desperately to BF DS1 and limped to the six-week mark before giving up. I have a medical condition that fucks up messes about my prolactin level so it's difficult to tell if that played a part in it though the BF-ing counsellor seems to think so. With DS2, I gave up a lot quicker (at week 1 ) due to my medical condition still persisting and that I suffered a prolapse on day 2 so just couldn't struggle with BF-ing on top of everything else and I told myself I was going to enjoy DS2's baby days a lot more...

DS2 is a lot more contented and smilier than DS1, just an easier baby overall. But he is so not interested in his milk. I was obsessed with DS1's weight and he was weighed every week at the baby clinic. Again, I told myself I wasn't going to stress so much about DS2 so the last time he was at the baby clinic, he was 10 weeks old and 10lbs 6ozs. He's just turned 16 weeks. At the moment he has 4 bottles of milk (I make up 5oz each time) and hardly finishes each bottle. He will then wake up once a night to have a 3/4 oz bottle. So he is having anything from 20-24oz of milk a day, which I just don't think is enough...

I've tried everything - feeding him more often (not interested, clamps his mouth shut); giving him a dream feed (again, not interested, clamps his mouth shut and 'fights' off the bottle), changed formula (made not an ounce of difference). Now being pressured to give him baby rice by MIL. Arghhhh!!!! Can you please come and hold my hand and tell me he looks healthy and happy? DS2 is such a sweet little soul. He is alert, happy and poos once/twice a day and plenty of wet nappies. I am going to take him to the baby clinic on Monday and really dreading it... But he just looks so dinky next to DS1 (can't believe I used to worry about DS1's weight!). Thanks!

they both look absolutely gorgeous and healthy

dd1 was a massive chunky baby with huge rolls on her thighs and everywhere

dd2 was a bout the same

dd3 was totally different (less chubby than your ds2) but its just how she is meant to be

lease dont worry
they both look very happy and completely healthy

Oh! your babies! they are so beautiful.I think they both look really healthy.Your older child is obviously a bit chubbier in that pic but they both look lovely.

You have all honestly made me feel so much better tonight. I am sure the worry will start up again tomorrow... They are both a little bit cute... DS1 is now chunky and solid built (though still fairly short), I guess DS2 is going to be a lightweight...

MumGoneCrazy - 12lbs at 6 months? Gosh, I would be worried if DS2 is not 12lbs by now. Mind you, he is a boy though... Can't be too lightweight! How else is he going to defend the girls?

We thought DS1 had hair till DS2 is born. He is due for a haircut on Monday as his hair is actually in his eyes.

They are too cute.....but seriously he looks fine - just a bit slimmer but in no way does he look emaciated or like he's not thriving.

My two boys have kind of tracked each other in weight but DS1 seems so much smaller than DS2 who has always been chunkier for some reason. They both drank similar amounts of milk to your DS2-never big drinkers really. Don;tr think it will have anything to do with the BF so don't beat yourself up about that.

My friend has 2 x DDs. The first is a serious unit. She must weigh almost 50% more than my DS who is 8 months older. Her second DD is completely different -still long but all skin and bone.

Both beautiful babies they are totally gorgeous!!

I wouldn't worry, all four of my dd's have been completely different in sizes, dd1 is very tall whereas dd4 is 16mo and wearing size 6-9 p.j's tonight They are all individuals

What gorgeous lovely looking little boys you have. You're very lucky.

To me they just look different. DD was 25th to 9th centile as a baby and was always skinny. DD is 75th to 90th centile. Same mum, same dad, same womb, same parenting, completely different children.

And your DS2 does have a bit of fat on his thighs so he's obviously getting something in. Maybe he just uses the milk he does get very efficiently and doesn't need as much.

Angel

Some of us are big, some of us are small. Were they the same weight when they were born?

My DD's are like chalk and cheese. DD1 was 6lb 13oz at birth, and was a tiny doll-like baby, she was always in clothes an "age" younger than she actually was, and her weight floundered along from 25th centile dropping down to 0.04th centile by the time she was a year old. But she fed well and was chubby, healthy and happy.

DD2 was 7lb 13 oz at birth, and was born chunky, we called her Buddha when she was a baby because she had rolls of fat on her, double creases in places!! She had nasty colic and reflux, which turned out to be a cows milk intolerance and cleared up when I cut dairy out of my diet, and she fed like a starving child and still eats like a horse. She has been on the 50th centile all along, and has worn DD1's clothes when she was far younger than DD1 was when she wore them (if you can follow any of this!!).

Both my girls were born at 39+5, so neither was in utero for longer than the other, both are breastfed, and in fact I continued to nurse DD1 whilst pregnant with DD2, and then in tandem together. They were both started on solids around 6 months of age, and both have been happy, healthy children. They are just very different sizes. Even now, aged 6 & 3, they are built differently, DD2 is heavier set then DD1, and I'm guessing probably always will be!

We are who we are, your DS2 is not skinny, he has chubby bits and creases, he's far from unhealthy, and is very beautiful indeed. In fact I'd like to order them both, when can you deliver??

And your DS2 does have a bit of fat on his thighs so he's obviously getting something in. Maybe he just uses the milk he does get very efficiently and doesn't need as much.

Gorgeous babies...my ds1 was chubby ds2 not so chubby. Both healthy but ds2 still dinky and still healthy. Don't worry they are really cute..I am sooooo broody!!

Thank you all for your lovely compliments, I genuinely was worried, not posting photos to get compliments but nice nevertheless...

GreenMonkies - Believe it or not, DS2 was actually 3ozs heavier than DS1 in terms of birthweight. Which is why I guess I thought I lucked out the second time round and I wouldn't have to worry about DS2's weight as much as I did with DS1. Little did I know!

Of course I can grasp the concept in my brain that we are all different so why do I compare them both? Because I am truly an idiot who cannot help worrying about her two babies (I get the feeling that ain't going to change much in the future...). And I think I get so conditioned as well by HVs etc that FF babies are always going to be bigger than BF ones.

I am so going to lamp that BF-ing advocate I met at one of my ante-natal clinics who went on and on about how FF babies are usually obese when I see her next...

Angel how old is ds? just asking so I can have a look on the growth chart in DD's carnet de sante and put your mind at rest.

It seems to me that ds2 has slighter build than ds1 as well so it's not just the question of fat. He looks absolutely healthy, beautiful and has got some fat on arms and legs.

I think it has been established that they are cute (they are!). They look v healthy too.

Oh good grief, they are lovely!

DS2 still has chubby little legs. There's no way he looks gaunt or drawn. Those eyes!

winnybella - DS2 was 16 weeks on Wednesday, 4 months old next week.

Thanks Chaos, it's re-assuring to hear from everyone. I just keep telling myself he is fine cos he is happy otherwise but of course, I took that stupid photo, put it next to DS1 and got myself into near hysterics with it...

Angel

DD3 was 5lb7ozs born and is still small because when she was 4 months she caught a stomach bug wouldnt/couldnt keep her milk down and was taken to hosp dehydrated, she lost quite a bit of her weight and had to be fed something that looked like water but had stuff in it to put some nutrients back into her and then we had to very slowly build her milk back up

Thankfully 2 months on she feeding 7ozs every 4 hours and putting weight back on

Sorry to hear that MumGoneCrazy. I can't even begin to imagine the worry! DS2 had quite bad reflux (but not enough to have medication and I wasn't keen anyway...) when born and was throwing up badly at least once a day and I used to sit there crying cos it had take him an hour to finish a 5oz bottle, only for him to throw it all back up! Which is why I don't dare 'press' him to drink more as he has a sensitive gag reflex and will throw up. Thank goodness it all settled down once he reached 3 months old but he still likes to keep me on my toes by doing the throwing up thing 2-3 times a week...

Ah, sorry just reread Op and saw he's 16 weeks.
So...according to the growth chart in dd's carnet de sante he is between 25% and 50% centile -if he is 6 kg that would be 50th.

That is in no way alarming. At all. IT IS ABSOLUTELY NORMAL.

Also if he was 10lbs 6 ounces at 10 weeks old that would put him on 25 centile. So he is following the curve nicely and if he's 6 kg then even going up the centiles.

You should only worry if a baby that was at, say, 90th centile at 10 weeks, drops to the 30th in a couple of months, for example.

Angel, ds was born 8 weeks prem - he was 3lb 7 at birth. At 10 weeks corrected (so 18 weeks actual, but the same as your ds at 10 weeks, IYGWIM), he was 10lb 11oz. At 16 weeks corrected, he was 13lb, or 5.92kg. I can't remember what he had per feed, but do remember that due to reflux a lot came back so he never got all (maybe not even most) of what he had IYSWIM (we didn't use bibs but cot sheets when winding him). And he was bottle fed.

He is now 8 and somewhere around 3 1/2 stone. There is no fat to him whatsoever, and never has been. If he strips off, you can count ribs and vertebrae. He also never stops eating and is extremely healthy (in this house it is me going to the GP with ear infections, having time off due to stomach bugs, never him). Looking at your pictures, your ds2 has more fat on him than my ds has ever had.

And as has been pointed out, the colouring on the photo's is different, so don't go by that. You said in your first post that "he is alert, happy and poos once/twice a day and plenty of wet nappies." - all good signs of a healthy baby. And he looks such a charmer, he is absolutely georgous.

Do go to the clinic, for reassurance (I know I did enough times in ds's first year or so) but take from the posts on here as well, he is georgous, he is alert (look at his eyes in the picture), he seems a very contented baby. You probably never will stop worrying if you are anything like me, you just get used to it and learn not to react to most of your fears. And comparisons? I don't have another child of my own to compare him with, so he just gets compared to his half and step siblings, his friends, children of my friends, classmates, clubs mates, and even that child over there on the street.... I think I'd prefer him to have a sibling, if only to give me a constant to have a comparison with

winnybella - I think DS2 was born on the 25% line but had dropped to 9% at 10 weeks. I don't even think he is 6kgs. Maybe 5.5kgs? Who knows? He is growing lengthwise though as he is filling out his babygros, just at a much slower rate than DS1 and some of DS1's stuff looks positively massive on him! Thanks for the re-assurance though. I think girls are lighter... Damn, if only he was a girl, I wouldn't worry quite that much!

Both cute babies, but DS2 is super cute because he is a long-legged lovely haired little fellow, just like my DS .

I was going to encourage you to look at whether DS2 was tracking a curve on the centiles, but I see winnybella has got there already.

I was also going to say that my DS did drop from 40th percentile at birth to 9th percentile at 3 weeks, and then stayed there. Had me worried initially, but the HVs were very calm about it as he didn't keep dropping. He started climbing again after a few months and has bobbed around the 25th centile ever since.

He didn't do so well on just milk, but has become a bit more sturdy since really getting into solids.

Good luck on Monday. I think your biggest risk is that your super cute baby will make the other mums jealous .

Hmmm...that's interesting, because in my official chart in the official carnet de sante prepared by the anal French doctors and health officials at 10 pounds 6 ounces he was on 25% mark. Are you sure?

Both gorgeous and DS2 incredibly cute - like a little bushbaby with those big (very alert) eyes and tufty hair .

My DS was (is) a chunky little thing- 'solid' would be a good way to describe him, but DD (now 5 mths) is incredibly delicate in comparison. DS was BF till age 1, and DD is also BF. I have had wobbles where I think DD is too little/not gaining enough weight etc, and she's only on the 9th centile line ) DS was always between 75h & 50th), but then I look at her and realise she's alert, she smiles & responds to everyone, she shows interest in what's going on around her, she's active and she's happy. Then I stop worrying.

LRB978 - Thanks for taking the time to post your stories, lovely to hear your DS is now 8, healthy and still skinny. Gosh, I think it's just the fact they are so dinky as babies that you worry more...

IsItMeOr - I already have visions of DS2 as an emo/indie boy with his black skinny jeans and mod hair while DS1 is, well, going to be a bit of a Jack the Lad! I will post an update on Monday after we have been to the baby clinic... DS1 was born pretty much on 25% line and after a lot of bobbing, at two years of age, he seems to have settled on just below the 50% line...

winnybella - I guess British babies are bigger than French ones?

Had a look at English charts for boys and you're right.
The French ones have the same chart for boys and girls up til 3 years, which could explain why it differs.
No doubt about French babies being smaller!
Still, he is a picture of health so I wouldn't worry.