i think i'm just noy cut out for b/f

[PassMeTheKleenex]

i know it's early days, as DS is not even 3 weeks yet.

I am b/feeding, but really not enjoying it ...this isn't something you hear many other women saying, you hear about pain/difficulties/worry about supply. Am i the only one?

I feel like DS is attached to me 24/7 - so DH doesn't get a look in with him or me.
He sucks for comfort, when i can feel him nibbling/tickling the very tip of my nipple, which is not painful, but it's beginning to feel like torture, as mt nipples are really sensitive to any touch.

I can't honestly say that I get great feelings of b/feeding being a wonderful, bonding experience, a special thing that many other women seem to feel. So I concentrate on the 'logical' reasons for doing it ie the convenience (ha!), health reasons etc etc.

But I am starting to feel that this isn't enough to keep me going - like I say, I know it's early days - but when I hear 'don't worry, it will get better in 3 months, and you won't even remember this bit', it may as well be 10 years, as I honestly can't envisage getting through another 3 days, never mind 3 mths.

I am fed up of spending the day crying, and it can't be nice for DS to keep looking up to see tears running down my face.

I don't really know what I'm looking for, except maybe someone else who has felt like this to come and tell me how they got through it.

Thanks to the additional posters on this thread - i am so glad to have something to come back to at low points.

It's been up and down for the last few days. Yesterday was awful - in the feeding chair for literally hours, with no let up. It's not the boredom or even having to stay put and not get anything done, as I am fully armed with mags, Sky+ and Mad Men box set! it's the pain of nipples that really feel as if they've been in a fight with a cheese grater and lost.

however, DS has obviously got a 6th sense for when I am about to go over the edge, as today, he's had 3 sleeps, the longest of which was 3 hours & meant I could get out of the house for a walk - in the sunshine!!

So I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel on odd days, and am hoping they start to outnumber the bad days. I am also seeing a bf person on Sat who will hopefully be able to point out if/where I am going wrong. (There is a lot of hoping going on here!)

Elasticwoman - I am fully convinced of the health benefits of bf...but sometimes that doesn't feel like enough - like when you're crying so much in pain and with tiredness at 4am that you wake your DH who is sleeping next door. Lots of other people have said it - perserverance is sometimes just not enough. I have the WILL, just not the SKILL to get through this experience with zero questionning about the right thing to do. And IMO, bf needs both.

I hope to come back with a positive update soon! thanks for your support ladies

Kleenex - I remember that tears of pain at 4 am business. What helped me a lot was a simple thing - a sleep bra! You can get one from the nct. It saved my life at the time.

Has any one told you about moisturising your nipples with your own milk, which has antiseptic qualities? Also, put raw white cabbage leaves down your bra when not feeding to soothe.

It is a learned art, it's not easy, in fact it can sometimes seem impossible. But in my experience it is the women who are most highly motivated, who manage it in the end. You would think it would be the ones who can do it without pain and other problems from the beginning, but people perceive the feeding of babies in different ways.

Good luck.

Glad to hear things are getting a bit better Kleenex. It's amazing what a walk in the sunshine can do for the spirits isn't it.
Just take a day at a time, as you say it is still early days and things will settle down (OK you'll just have to trust me on that!)
You're right about the will and the skill- but it's not just you who is learning a new skill, it's you're LO one too.
Hang on in there!

Saw your post on the endless other thread!

Just wanted to say. have you got some lansinoh? This is v important for abused nipples

Also - if dummy gives you a break then no need to keep it for emergencies. if it keeps you sane then use it IMO.

My experience: I don't feel that BF is terribly bonding wonderful feeling etc at all. It is a good efficient way of getting calories into babies, and it is a food designed for them, so I BF. But I find it boring TBH and a PITA not being able to leave baby with anyone else. However,the first weeks are the worst, and things actually settle down quite quickly, they feed more efficiently and their tummys grow so they go longer between feeds. So (barring growth spurts) it just gradually gets easier and easier. Then when they get the hang of solids you can leave them with other people and the whole thing gets loads easier.

Anyway, I am glad that you are feeling better. Take it one step at a time, if you accept that for you it might not be a tremendously emotional thing but simply a good way of feeding your baby then hopefully you will stop feeling bad. Maybe expectations were a bit high there. I always thought it would be agonisingly painful so was just grateful when it didn;t hurt that much!

Also if he is messing around with your nipples don't be afraid to take him off - and either relatch or not depending on whether you think he is still hungry. If he is chewing on the end of your nipple it will be very sore for you.

Good luck

ISNT - thank you for coming to find me over here. I really thought you spoke a lot of sense about the reasons that people can't/don't want to BF...and whether others think these reasons are ''good enough''.

I do indeed have some Lansinoh - it was great when my nipples were very cracked, then I eased off it when that particular problem went away. I'm going to start using it again - prevention must be better than cure. Can you get a cream that shrinks your nipples back to pre-BF size - I swear my right one is about an inch long now

The dummy is no longer an emergency item...

I am glad some people are seeing both sides of the feeding debate..... i am bf and quite enjoying it.... BUT there are days when he throws up on my breasts or messes and fusses and when my breasts are sore. Its ok to have dys like these and in the end you do what is right for your baby but also for you and the whole family unit.... a miserable mummy is not nice for you or your ds. Do whats right for you lovey and NEVER EVER feel guilty for any decision you make. I ff dd1 and she is fin$e, eats well, sleeps well and is very healthy, she is clever and polite and downright fab. bf ds too is great and very conveniant when i am rushing in and out on the school run!!!!

ds has a dummy amd it stops the sucking for comfort and also helps shit the more deep rooted wind. i got him a BILLY BOB dummy..... look them up they are hilarious.