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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Should I complain? - Not allowed to bottle fed while BF-ing is allowed?

32 replies

angel1976 · 12/02/2010 14:43

Was at the Museum of Docklands with DH, DS1 and DS2 on the weekend. They have a great section for the kiddies called Mudlarks that has a soft play area. Also a seating section in the corner. Three-month-old DS2 is bottle-fed from week 1. I had a lot of issues trying to BF DS1 (including medical issues) and was in pieces about it for weeks before reluctantly giving up at six weeks with DS1. Doesn't sound like a long time but I went through hell and back that time and even the BF counsellor told me to give DS1 formula and even got the health visitor to come and see me as she was so concerned about my mental state. With DS2, I recognised a lot of the same issues and gave up BF-ing very quickly as I had DS1 to look after as well. I still have a complex about not being able to BF and conscious about feeding DS2 in public (but I promise you I am not the mad woman in Bluewater from the other thread! !).

So we got to the museum and DS1 headed straight to the Mudlarks area. I went to go in and the 'helper' was being a bit pedantic about stuff ('No water, no food' and checking the heights of the children before allowing them into soft play and actually refusing entry to a couple of siblings just over height restrictions! ) so I casually asked if I could feed DS2 in there. And he said BF-ing is allowed but not bottle-feeding...

Pardon me? I couldn't quite believe it and checked with him again and he said no to bottle feeding. So I had to sit outside, in a badly lit sitting area to feed DS2 instead of being able to watch DS1 playing with DH. I did feel very much the outcast. I have to say I didn't ask the reason why though...

Are they justified in doing this? Is there a good reason to allow BF-ing and not bottle feeding? I want to make a complaint cos to be honest, it's a contentious enough issue without family-friendly places like that making more divisions... Thanks.

OP posts:

bratnav · 12/02/2010 14:47

WTF? A baby should be allowed to be fed wherever, whenever, regardless of whether it is breast or bottle. I could understand if it was solids, but that is outrageous.

I would complain. {I'm a BFer btw, so no axe to grind on this}

MadamDeathstare · 12/02/2010 14:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

angel1976 · 12/02/2010 14:54

I did ask opinions at my toddler group with this one and they said maybe it's an allergy issue? Like some kids might be allergic to milk but it's not as I am about to spray that stuff about iykwim? Good idea MadamDeathstare. I didn't think about how DS1 would have missed out if DH wasn't with us... Thanks.

OP posts:

Bumperlicious · 12/02/2010 17:02

Funny if they are worried about 'spray' and mess as I had one comical incident of DD delatching and watching my milk spray in a perfect arch to the other side of the room . Fortunately I was at home but sat next to a friend who, bless her, didn't bat an eyelid!

Bumperlicious · 12/02/2010 17:02

When BFing obviously, as that was my point.

thedollshouse · 12/02/2010 17:11

It sounds an awful place. Why don't they just bar children, they obviously aren't welcome there.

CharCharGabor · 12/02/2010 17:14

How disgraceful Babies should be able to eat wherever they are. Definitely complain.

confusedfirsttimemum · 12/02/2010 17:30

That's awful. I could understand if they only allowed formula or water (i.e. no other drinks and no solid food) and I could understand if they said only babies (i.e. toddlers have to go outside the area for a drink), but that rule is really unfair. I'd complain if you feel up to it.

I feel sooo strongly that there shouldn't be this public division between FF and BF. I even get a bit about the breastfeeding and formulafeeding areas in the John Lewis baby room (although others think it's ok because the BF is more private and they want to keep it for self conscious BFing mums who don't want to expose themselves to the dads changing nappies!)

Original poster

angel1976 · 12/02/2010 19:50

Thanks guys! I will complain as I feel strongly that there shouldn't be a division between breast and bottle feeders. Funnily enough, when I was BF-ing DS1, I never felt shy about BF-ing in public as I felt it was such a natural thing to do. Whether you are a breastfeeder or a bottlefeeder, no one should make you feel like a second-class citizen, which was how I felt on Saturday. Mind you, those minders were completely over-zealous. I felt so sorry for the kids who were told they wouldn't be able to go into soft play with their sisters/brothers just because they were that teeny bit taller than the height restriction. Also, we literally left the area and DS1 wanted to run straight back in and they told us to go and get a ticket for a future timed session as it was not too busy (and it wasn't)! WTF!

OP posts:

HerBeatitude · 12/02/2010 19:55

They're wankers
You're just as likely to have a spillage with breastmilk when a baby pulls away suddenly, as with formula

I'd complain

GhoulsAreLoud · 12/02/2010 19:57

YADNBU

skidoodle · 12/02/2010 20:01

It must be some little shitbag getting the wrong end of the (no water, no food) stick. Nowhere would have a policy as offensive and ridiculous as this.

I'm quite unfamiliar with the process of bottle feeding a baby, but I would imagine there is a far higher chance of milk getting all over the place with breastfeeding than bottles.

KimiLivesInStarbucks · 12/02/2010 20:08

I would complain my head off, a hungry baby is a hungry baby no matter if it is getting fed from boob or bottle.

negrilbaby · 12/02/2010 20:12

I've found a huge difference between the staff looking after the softplay area. Some rule the place with a rod of iron and some really try to help the children have a great experience. I've always brought snacks for my DS and so have all my friends who use the area - and that does include milk. No one has every challenged us about that. Think you might just have been unlucky.

ilovegreenbeans · 12/02/2010 20:38

angel, we'vew complained to Mudlarks in the past over their rude and unfriendly staff, so you're not alone! (In our case it was a she though, so it prob wasn't the same staff member, shame!)

I think you should complain and follow it up too. I can't see any reason that a mother can't feed her child in a children's area.

It's not like you were asking to feed him on the slide or anything!

Best of luck with it.

NotQuiteCockney · 12/02/2010 20:40

I can see that they wouldn't want kids running around the play area with a bottle or cup. (spillages, allergies) But bottlefeeding a baby is a different thing.

ExplodingBananas · 12/02/2010 20:59

If they allow bottle feeding maybe they are worried people will want to warm bottles with those portable flask thingie, that wouldn't be very safe in a soft play area.

Original poster

angel1976 · 12/02/2010 22:03

ilovegreenbeans - There were two different members of staff rotating and both of them were as bad as each other! One he and one she.

ExplodingBananas - The seated area in the kiddies area where you were expected to feed your baby was set about 4-5 feet back from the soft play area, which was blocked off by a low soft wall anyway. So it wasn't in the same area iykwim. Just felt a bit like I was banished to a dark corner of the museum where I couldn't see anyone and no one could see me!

OP posts:

ilovemydogandmrobama · 12/02/2010 22:11

That's shocking.

Although I was recently in a museum (not in the UK). To get to the children's area, had to go through an exhibition and was told 'no food, no water...' I asked if DS would be able to take his bottle with him, and was said they would confiscate it.

We just ended up leaving.

None of anyone else's business how you feed your baby.

Dawnybabe · 12/02/2010 22:28

I wouldn't even ask. I'd just get on with it. Woe betide anyone who asked me to stop feeding my hungry baby. But that's just me....

Original poster

angel1976 · 12/02/2010 22:37

I don't even know why I asked... Stupid me! I would have liked to see them try and turf me and the baby out!

OP posts:

BelleDameSansMerci · 12/02/2010 22:40

Dawny - my thoughts exactly!

But absolutely you should complain. Bloody ridiculous. Who the hell do they think their target audience/demographic is likely to be? If you treat parents with disdain they're hardly like to want to bring their children back. Poor business on top of poor attitude in general.

Original poster

angel1976 · 12/02/2010 22:44

Tis a nice museum but such a pity about the staffing... I took DS1 to a storytelling session that same day 5 minutes late and was told it was over. What? Turned out they had quite a few parents and kids turn up early so in an effort to get to the crafts bit early, they started the session early and kept it short. It was so disappointing! Thank goodness DS1 is only 2 and doesn't quite 'get' disappointment yet!

OP posts:

pigletmania · 12/02/2010 23:50

That is disgusting , babies need feeding whether their breastfed or bottlefed. They should have had an area where people could feed their babies breast or bottle then!

BooHooo · 12/02/2010 23:53

Complain - seriously complain that is outrageous!

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