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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

How did you make your decision?

149 replies

CrosswordGeek · 31/12/2009 17:35

Why did you choose breast or bottle feeding?
Why didn't you choose the alternative?
Do you have any regrets?

Genuine intrigue!

OP posts:
MumtoEliane · 03/01/2010 16:33

CG, my mother in law had 5 children and bottlefed all of them, reason: couldn't be bothered breastfeeding. Her own words. I suppose she means the "flashing", the pain, etc.

I have been in tears right this morning cos one of my friends just had a baby and boasts that she is so good at breastfeeding, feeds so well, 20 min. and then sleeps... and I couldn't. I wanted to BF as I read that reduces the chances of getting breast cancer and my mum has died from that. I was in agony, baby had colics, I was totally sleep deprived going downhill and hating every minute of my life. So we started bottlefeeding. DD is 12 weeks and I still cry thinking that I coudn't breastfeed her. I do wish I tried harder but then at the time it seemed impossible.

The positive side is that I am a much happier person, I love feeding DD and the overall mood of the household is so much better! So if I have another baby I will try harder but my partner doesn't want me too because I was so depressed. We will see what happens. I think us that can't are under too much pressure, formula is perfectly ok for babues to!

sparklycheerymummy · 03/01/2010 19:57

hey mumtoeliane...... dont beat yourself up about it!! I couldnt feed dd and have since had friends talking about how easy it is..... so this time i started out thinking evryone else can do it and i should be able to.... i got a bit obsessed. Anyway ds has taken to it no problems and its going fine..... each time is different. my dd is fabulous, healthy, eats well and healthily, sleeps well, is intelligent and polite etc etc etc so i feel she is living proof that it doesnt matter in the end!!! formula or breast .... its your mental health and sanity that counts in the end. I couldnt feed dd because i suffered puerpal psychosis and was really unwell. Am still battling it this time so if bf gets too much i will not feel guilty about ff!!!!!!!!!!

Beveridge · 03/01/2010 22:15

I always assumed I would BF barring any major problems, in which case FF would be the last resort.

Always made sense to me, as breastfeeding is what babies are designed to do. And all the Biology teachers I know have BF, which I think says it all!

pippaNnippa · 04/01/2010 07:45

Initally I wanted to Bfeed to get back in shape easier (which happened by 6 weeks) but the ease and convienience has kept me doing it.

The more I feed her the more I enjoy it (she's 6 months) seeing her smile and feeling the pride that I have nourished my baby and given her anti bodies is brilliant.

Also dp has been really ill with colds and even developed pluricy while dd hasn't had anything more than a runny nose

redtabby · 04/01/2010 11:16

Always planned to bf, as the natural and best thing to do, and looked forward to the closeness aspect. Have ended up slightly mixed feeding (just one bottle of special high calorie formula at night, because of very small baby, failing to gain and not very good milk supply). DS is now 7 months and an still bf apart from that night bottle (and some food now obviously!) despite having gone back to work full time when he was 4 months.

I love love love bf and dread the day we have to stop, plan to carry on for as long as possible. I agree with one poster who mentioned the extreme serenity of giving a feed. There is nothing like it, the outside world and problems just melt away and you and the baby are the world...

trellism · 04/01/2010 12:24

I had to bf as my famly have a history of atopy. I was damaged by formula. I also think that as a mammal, I should do what mammals do. If bf were really that hard, we wouldn't be here - my dad's dog didn't go to classes, she just did what came naturally.

I went to some classes, did some reading, and was looking forward to it.

After a six day labour and emcs, dd latched on to dh immediately. I fed her whilst in recovery, against the midwife's advice. I've been led by dd ever since.

I've had thrush and mastitis, and yes, it was sore for a few days at first - I was prepared for that. At no point has it occurred to me to give up. 2 months later, I am enjoying it and am proud to get this far.

kathryn2804 · 04/01/2010 18:40

Was expecting twins and thought I'd give it a go. Knew all the helath benefits for me and the babies. Thankfully, they were quite good at it and as they could do it, I decided I had no right not to give them it! I wavered occasionally with the odd bottle of formula but by 3 wks had stopped that. they fed until 13 mths.

Now expecting no 3 and can't wait to try breastfeeding one!!

sparklycheerymummy · 04/01/2010 21:40

my poor ds is ebf and has got a horrid cough and cold at 3 weeks so i am gutted!!!! thought it would prevent stuff like that!

StealthPolarBear · 04/01/2010 21:45

trellism, if you don't mind me asking what do you mean by "I was damaged by formula"?
Please ignore me if you'd prefer

StealthPolarBear · 04/01/2010 21:46

scm, sorry to hear your ds is ill, it's awful when they have colds and are that little

mistletoeandjuan · 04/01/2010 21:49

trellism - of course you should be proud of yourself for breastfeeding but I'm sure if you read most of the comments on here you wouldn't think that people give up because of thrush, mastitis or being sore for a few days.

ladylush · 04/01/2010 21:51

Bf both dc. Wasn't easy and didn't enjoy it but I knew it was the best thing for them. Simple as that.

sparklycheerymummy · 04/01/2010 22:05

am finding bf easy...... i am even thinking of donating breast milk i have so much!!! .............BUT i am lucky and didnt manage it with dd due to severe puerpal psychosis!

neversaydie · 04/01/2010 22:48

I was very clear that I would breast feed - family histories of allegies for both me and DH and an agriculture degree made me very clear about the potential benefits.

I was very indignant with the HV who asked me why I didin't have a steriliser before DS was born.

I found it incredibly hard at first - DS lost more than 10% of initial weight in the first week, my nipples were agony and he just didn't grow very fast (9th centile all the way - and both families are big!). And he had colic!

I never succeeded with expressing, so when I went back to work, we supplied his CM with ready mixed formula, which he guzzled as if half starved for 3 months. He went from the 9th centile to the 95th in three months, then settled down and refused formula thereafter.

I kept breast feeding him morning, evening and night all through this, and eventually weaned him just after his 2nd birthday.

I am glad I persevered, although I struggled with the process. The support locally was well meaning, but not especially knowledgeable and I suspect that if I hadn't been so committed to making it work, I would have given up in the first week. Ds still has eczema, but I guess might have been worse if I hadn't BF.

BadPoet · 05/01/2010 10:10

My mum, aunt and other female relatives all breastfed and I remember them feeding their babies when I was a child so I naturally assumed I would breastfeed and I did. We also have loads of allergies and eczema in the family which wasn't a deciding factor but probably strengthened my resolve.

DC1 was extremely difficult, bad birth, hand expressing for SCBU stay, milk didn't come in for 6 days, cracked, bleeding nipples etc etc followed by everyone in the family being ill when we finally got out of hosp but I just did it somehow. I could never express much and also have a dh who really needs not to be sleep deprived so I just got on with it and co-slept which really helped me get as much sleep as possible. My mum was supportive although miles away at that point. She's been a bit freaked by me continuing to feed way past 2y though.

DC2 - comparatively much easier, but still time-consuming and exhausting in the early days, but I was on such a high after the birth that I floated through the worst of it. Looking back I was a bit of a zombie really but a fairly happy one. Was dangerously sleep deprived at about 4-6 months and I do regret that, but not breastfeeding - we should have cut back more on other commitments.

I was thinking on New Year's Eve that I've been pregnant or breastfeeding now for nearly 8 years .

Builde · 05/01/2010 11:24

It wasn't really a decision for me.

I didn't realise that people did use bottles and formula...(considered really common where we grew up to bottle feed!)

Got on with it fine but - after about nine months - actually found it a bit of a tie.

However, our girls are so healthy that I'm now really pleased that i did feed for almost a year with both. The youngest still hasn't seen a doctor!

MumtoEliane · 05/01/2010 11:27

Thanks for your words sparkly, its great to read that it worked for you the second time, hopefully it will work for me too!

trellism · 05/01/2010 12:36

I have read the comments. The op asked for our experiences, not our judgment on the choices of others.

I had a severe allergic reaction to formula which has left me with bad asthma and eczema - I was a very poorly baby for several years as a result.

Squitten · 05/01/2010 15:10

Everyone in my family was FF and they are generally rather anti-BF. All I heard whilst pregnant was how disgusting it was, indecent in public, etc. I did, however, intend to try BF but I do think I already had a mental thing in my head that was working against me.

Anyway, I had DS early on Sat morning and he fed off me to start with and then was pretty out of it (c-section) through Sat. DH had to leave the ward that night and I was very nervous about being on my own with the baby. He woke up that night very hungry and basically constantly tried to feed ALL night. I had no sleep AT ALL. He finally passed out in the early AM on Sunday for 2 hours before he kicked off again. I was absolutely distraught as he literally screamed the place down every time I put him off the breast. I had also had no sleep since the Thurs.

Because the post-natal ward was crammed, we were in the pre-natal ward, which was great for space but lousy for midwife care. Every time a midwife came by, they told me to let him feed and get some sleep myself, which wasn't happening. EVENTUALLY, last thing on Sunday, the midwife had me express and two drops of colostrum came out. DS was basically starving. She had him go onto cup-feeding and he gulped down so much formula that he then projectile-vomited every time. My boobs were red raw and so very painful.

Basically, by the time I went home, I was a jibbering wreck and had lost all confidence in my ability to feed DS. My milk came in on the Tuesday and my supply was low. I fumbled around for a day or two, half BF and half-FF. The community midwife was lovely and really encouraging of BF but my family put a lot of pressure on me to FF, telling me I was damaging DS, and I eventually caved in and switched to bottles totally.

I have made my peace with the decision and DS has thrived but we are currently ttc and I really want to BF with the next baby. I feel more prepared for what might happen and more educated about what to expect (as with so many things!)

NiceShoes · 05/01/2010 15:22

started off bf,struggled with prem baby.Was in agony so gave up due to inadequate support and needing to feel I was attempting to feed.To this day I suffer terrible guilt and anxiety.Not helped by coming on MN and seeing any mum can feed and breast is best messages. when i did FF feed outside at a baby group i was stared at and talked about by other mums,saying things like "I hate to see a baby drinking from a bottle" "You think she would at least try" etc.That really hurt.

tiktok · 05/01/2010 15:24

squitten - that's terrible post natal care Just about everything that was done to you was poor - including the expression of two drops of colostrum (that will have been the lousy technique of the midwife ).

Someone coming to bf with a negative vibe from their family is bound to need a lot of support and practical help and information with the skills of bf...and you were left to flounder, and it wasn't fair. You were left low in confidence, in pain, and subject to even more family pressure.

How useless of the health service to leave you in that state

Starberries · 05/01/2010 15:26

We will be bottle-feeding as partner and I are both female, and we both want to feed our baby the same way. Partner does not want to go through pumping/expressing for every single feed and will have periods of several weeks away from the baby so formula feeding is the choice for us.

StealthPolarBear · 05/01/2010 16:43

I always planned to bf, which seems strange as I grew up knowing nothing about babies (bf or ff) - thought SMA was some sort of mashed potato, and as for bf, well I'd never really considered it at all.
And yet by my first appointment I remember saying I wanted to bf.

Squitten · 05/01/2010 19:16

tiktok - Thank you for your kind words. Yup, it was pretty bad! I so wish that I had had the lovely community midwife with me in the hospital as she was so great about it all. I still remember that first night with DS, feeling almost sick with nerves when DH had to leave and then panicking when he kept crying all the time. It was really awful and I honestly think it did affect my bonding with him.

I don't know what I'm going to do about my family next time around. Every time there's a discussion about babies, I always make a point to say that I will be trying next time but it usually gets shot down I know they'll give me hell every time I visit if I'm BF a baby but DH is very pro-BF and my in-laws are too so I will have some support! Fingers crossed, eh?

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