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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Incessant feeding in 5 week old BF baby - DH wants to try formula

30 replies

lucky1979 · 30/11/2009 18:22

Since yesterday DD has been almost consistently feeding, or demanding to be fed. She normally sleeps for 2-3 hour stretches throughout the day and quite well at night but since yesterday she is practically hysterical if she goes for more than 1 hour without being fed, and has barely slept. The feeds go on for much longer than normal as well. DH can't settle her either, she usually responds really well to him but now seems to only be remotely content when she's with me.

My Mum thinks no baby needs feeding that much, and she's "playing me up" and DH thinks that we should try giving her formula so that I can get some sleep. I've heard of cluster feeding, but thought that was something that happened in the evenings, not for a 24 hour period. I can't bear to not feed her as she screams almost hysterically but would prefer not to give her formula either so don't know what to do.

She was 6 pounds 1 oz when she was born, and had gone up to 7 pounds last wednesday when she was weighed so has been putting on weight well so far.

Does anyone have any experience of this or advice? (Or just some reassurance - am exhausted and feeling like an incompetent mother right now)

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 30/11/2009 18:25

she's probably going through a growth spurt. she needs more milk, and the way to get you producing more milk is to feed more frequently.
she should settle down in a few days.

or you know, sometimes they just change the rules! but trust me (btdt!) it will change, and she will go back to "normal"

you shouldn't feel pressured to give formula if you don't want to, and neither is she "playing you up", she's only a teeny tiny baby. she's hungry and she is doing exactly what she is supposed to do

ShowOfHands · 30/11/2009 18:29

A 5 week old baby doesn't 'play you up'.

Your baby is probably going through a growth spurt. Breastfeeding is based upon a very clever relationship between you and your baby. As she grows and needs more calories to aid her development, she will signal this to your body. She does this by feeding almost constantly. Your supply will adjust to increased demand and she will settle again. Introducing formula can interfere with this process and with supply.

You want to bfeed and what you need to look at is ways of facilitating that. Have you a sling? Would you consider co-sleeping? Do you use a dummy at all? The people around you need to support you. On sofa, dvds, snacks, drink and them helping you to succeed in this.

1 month old is a classic growth spurt time. It will pass before you know it. These early days are such hard work and it gets better.

Kellymom is a fabulous website and very straightforward if you want to read it and show it to dh/your Mum.

Hang on in there. You're doing brilliantly.

hobbgoblin · 30/11/2009 18:33

You are responding to her needs instinctively, she is gaining weight and flourishing so why allow others to question the status quo. If you are exhausted then ask the MIL or DH to take as much other pressure from you as poss by housekeeping for you, cooking for you, whatever but don't stop your good work.

2ChildrenPlusLA · 30/11/2009 18:33

Get your helpful mum to make you some homemade meals that you can microwave and then get you in bed tucked up with the baby for a couple of days. This is absolutely normal 5 week old behaviour and it won't last. The best thing you can do is give all access and the growth spurt will be over faster.

logrrl · 30/11/2009 18:33

you are not incompetent! sounds just like DS at that age, when we had a weekend of hell.

sounds like a normal baby going through a normal growth spurt, building up your milk supply in an expert way... you sound like a normal mum thinking wtf, I just fed you... and your mum sounds like a normal gran who has forgotten what the little baby stage is like / doesn't get bf...

hang in there, honestly, it's normal. you will get some sleep. there are various coping strategies such as feeding lying down you can use. was a life saver for me. trawl the older posts on this board with your one free hand

am sure lots of others will come along to tell you the same

hobbgoblin · 30/11/2009 18:34

sorry mum not mil

SnotBaby · 30/11/2009 18:37

Growth spurt! I can understand your DH thinking that a switch to formula is the solution, but no, this is what a successfully breastfed baby does from time to time.

Please note word "successfully" - as ShowOfHands says, it means that you and your baby are sharing rhythms and preparing together for the next phase.

Tell your DH he can help to feed his baby by stepping up on housework and providing you with snacks.

Well done!

NotQuiteCockney · 30/11/2009 18:40

If your DH wants to try formula, he should. (I hear it tastes rank, though.) Keep sticking with the breastmilk for the baby, though, if that's what you want.

This does sound entirely normal. That being said, if you have any nearby BF support groups, a visit to talk this over, and discuss latch, should give you reassurance if nothing more. (If you say what town you live in/near, I can have a dig for support groups for you)

funwithfondue · 30/11/2009 18:40

As everyone else has said: this is totally normal, and will pass before you know it.

Also, there is a chance that giving formula now could lead to you giving up breastfeeding sooner than you may wish.

As a mum to a nine-month old (still bf), those hazy days of hour-long feeds, day-long cuddling in bed, watching TV/surfing mumsnet on a laptop while feeding my tiny dd, seem so long ago already, and I miss them! I also miss dh and grandparents making themselves useful by waiting on me hand and foot. Just tell your mum and dh that by feeding/watering you, they are by extension feeding your dd!

Enjoy it - this time is fleeting, and before you know it, you'll just about manage to pin your dd down for a quick five-minute feed before she darts away to practice crawling/standing/rearranging your bookshelves...

Murtette · 30/11/2009 20:01

I'm glad I'm not the only one to have experienced this! I had no idea what had hit me this weekend. DD was 5 weeks on Friday and on Saturday she fed hourly from 6am til 2am on Sunday by which time I was almost crying with exhaustion; she then slept for about 3 hours and then fed about every two hours yesterday but today she was back to normal in terms of when she fed (about every three or four hours) but seemed to eat less at each feed. As we had no visitors coming today and DP was back at work, we both had a "duvet day" and it was lovely to just lounge around and recover from the weekend's feeding marathon. I'm already feeling so much better than I did over the weekend.

rubyslippers · 30/11/2009 20:03

my DD did this - i posted on MN in bits

she fed from 1 in the afternoon until 11 pm and then woke hourly for a feed in the night

she had hit the 6 week growth spurt with a vengeance - it passed within 48 hours

but it was hell in the midst of it

keep going!

minxofmancunia · 30/11/2009 20:09

it's not unusual for them to do this every so often especially in the early days.

It sounds like you're doing a great job, if you persevere even though it's difficult at the time it will be over quicker.

DwayneDibbley · 30/11/2009 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Taramuddle · 30/11/2009 20:22

Keep going Lucky!

It is a shock & utterly exhausting looking after a new baby but it gets so much easier. I can rember feeling just how you do. Everyone on here feels for you because we've done it too. Well done you, you've made if this far, do one day at a time & be reassured that this stage is normal but will end. Don't feel that you shouldn't feed or pick up dd when she cries for you, she's not 'playing you', you are not 'making a rod for your own back' or any of those nonsense things some people say. You are in fact doing what is just right for your baby & she is asking you to do it.

Keep going as the really great bits are just around the corner!

mollybob · 30/11/2009 23:20

I'm just 15 wks pg but have already told my Mum that any comments anti bf at any stage will not be tolerated - heard all this last time with DD. DH is very positive about bf and understands now - have you a good bf book - get DH to read it so he will be the support you need. He is probably just worried about you rather than really anti bf.

Keep going - you're doing so well.

radstar · 01/12/2009 00:19

this happened to us too quite frequently, "just keep doing what you're doing" to quote my health visitors whenever I asked about it. I'm so glad I stuck with it, your body does work to make what they need, it's pretty amazing really when you think about it. It does get better, just eat and drink lots to keep up!

Lovesdogsandcats · 01/12/2009 00:25

My advice - simple - lock yourself in house, ignore door/phone, and do what you are doing best- feed baby! As and when needed. put feet up at same time.

Bicnod · 01/12/2009 08:53

You are doing brilliantly. Ignore your mum - a 5 week old does NOT play you up. My mum/MIL etc all tried to persuade me to give DS formula when he was around the same age as I was getting no sleep and he was a very hungry baby. Happily I ignored them and we got through the growth spurts. There is no magic bullet for sleep with babies - formula is NOT the magic answer. If you don't want to do it don't do it - stick to your guns.

Explain to DH why it's so important to you to continue bf and ask for his support in doing that.

Oh, and eat cake. Lots of it.

This too shall pass, this too shall pass.

Builde · 01/12/2009 10:43

It could be that your baby is harder work than usual because they have a bug. In which case, all the more important to keep BFing.

Anyway, good luck over the next few days. It will pass and you will get back to an easier rhythmn at some point.

JackBauer · 01/12/2009 10:52

As everyone has said, normal behaviour for a growth spurt, completely normal.
Stick the telly on, put your feet up, get anyone who makes unhelpful comments to go and fetch you cake/chocolate/both and just feed. It doesn't normally last longer than 48 hours so hang in there!

SnotBaby · 01/12/2009 12:06

Builde has a good point there. Mine suddenly woke every 45 minutes for a feed last night as he is coming down with a cough. He's been at it all morning as well.

I am knackered but so glad I'm bfing as he can have a little something whenever his throat is sore, rather than having to wait for a bottle to be prepared. I think I'm getting it too, so thanks to antibodies I'm helping him to get better.

Sofabed, DVDs, laptop, cake, clementines, hot chocolate. Quite festive, really!

SnotBaby · 01/12/2009 12:06

oh and I hope you're feeling more hopeful today OP!

Original poster

lucky1979 · 01/12/2009 12:54

Hi everyone!

Thank you so much for all your kind words (they actually made me cry - but in a good way). We're doing better today, the feeding continued until about 1AM, then she had a few stretches of sleep for an hour through the night, and has been much more chilled this morning, very regular feeds but only for 15 minutes rather than the constant nursing of yesterday.

I didn't mean to give the wrong impression in my previous post, both DH and my mum are utterly supportive of my BFing, mum BF both me and my brother for 9 months+ so I think logrrl is absolutely right, she's just forgotten what it's like in the early days! DH and I are first time parents so neither of us quite know what's normal and what's not - he just suggested the formula as we thought that maybe my milk wasn't enough on its own and his priorities are DD not going hungry and me not going insane through lack of sleep He came home with flowers, ready meals and lovely snacks for me and mum is on her way round later to do the washing up so they're helping in the way you've all suggested!

Thanks again - think I would have had a bit of a breakdown without all your lovely supportive words

OP posts:

SnotBaby · 01/12/2009 13:19

Very pleased to hear that you are getting the support you deserve! Lap it up now

Original poster

lucky1979 · 01/12/2009 19:39

Just as an additinal update, the health visitor came round to weigh her and she's 7lb 8oz, so she's put on half a pound in 6 days! So obviously the mammoth feeding sessions are working. Feeling very proud of her Thank you all again :D

OP posts:

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