Is giving the odd formula to BF baby really that bad?

[Positron]

Hi all, am new here.

I am a bit mixed up in the head about this whole breastfeeding thing.

I wasn't able to BF my DD (now nearly three), and was determined to BF my DS who is now 4 months. I had problems with latch initially but now BF has been going reasonably well since.

However, I am having to give him the odd "rescue" bottle of formula now and then (mainly when it's his last feed before bed), because I simply have no more milk left to give him. I have found however that this is happening on a more regular basis. The poor guy is getting hungry and frustrated and it is really upsetting me that I cannot offer him any more breastmilk - hence the formula. I feel that the healthcare professionals might look down on me for this, but what else am I supposed to do? I'm trying the usual advice to keep up my milk supply, but not always working. I want to stop beating myself up about this, but am finding it very hard, as everywhere you look, there is a poster advising exclusive BF for first 6 months. Is having the odd bottle of formula here and there so bad? Please help.....want to feel sane again!

Hi Positron
I haven't read all of the above posts, sorry, just wanted to add if you haven'd been advised already - visit your local drop-in BF clinic if you have such a thing, they are great, and also I gave a top up bottle from day 1 as my milk supply wasn't in (caesar baby, not sure if related) and I am still BFing 10 months later -I have given a bottle when I felt necessary all through.
I do agree that it affects supply though - I only gave a bottle after a BF if she was still hungry.
I am not looking forward to the end of my BFing career - I am really glad I stuck with it!

Thanks again for your advice/stories.

Last night, having been sleep deprived for a good few nights now, I thought I would try and go to sleep as soon as I put baby down just after 7.pm. All was going well - gave him a feed until I put him in the cot. But he wasn't having any of it! He just cried and cried and cried. I was soo tired, I had to get DH to take over, so that I could get some much needed kip. He managed to soothe him with some singing, and he eventually nodded off after 9pm (although DH had pressed to give him a bottle, which I was reluctant to give, but in the end caved in - although it was expressed breastmilk). Tonite, I don't know what's going to happen. I have no expressed BM for tonite, and DH may put pressure on me to give a bottle of formula if it comes to it. Does anyone else feel pressured by partners/husbands/families to cave in with a bottle?

Today at Starbucks was a DISASTER! I took my DS and DD (nearly 3) for what is usually a relatively civilised trip. DS got into such a strop. I tried to breastfeed him discreetly, but he wasn't having any of it! He roared the place down and seemed very distressed. Despite ordering food for DD and me, we had to pack up and leave, as I'm sure I could feel hundereds of pairs of eyes watching me! I was this close to tears, but managed to keep my nerve. Next time, I may have to bring a bottle of expressed BM just in case.

2point4pets,

I tried visiting a local BF counsellor in a cafe - she has these sessions there regularly. But I'm afraid I didn't find her very attentative, and she seemed to be slouching around on the couch drinking coffee, rather than really trying to take that much of an interest (I'm not trying to tar all BF counsellors with the same brush though). I have got so deperate for some supervised advice, that I am seeing a lactation consultant privately on Saturday. I think she needs to check things out and observe. May be too late as DS nearly 5 months now, but as I intend to BF upto a year, there maybe some advice I could pick up. Let's see....anyone else seen a lactation consultant?

I have figured out that the only way for my DS to get a reasonable stretch of sleep at night, and to get him off to sleep in the first place, is to give him a generous bottle (aiming for expressed breast milk if my supply will allow), and then gently nurse him until he falls asleep before putting him down in his cot. I found that if he glugged a bottle and I then put him down, he would be whaling for my boob! (I wish though that he would settle himself on his own...but I've tried everything else).

I then express some milk around midnight, ready for the next night.

This is what works for me, as long as I keep expressing my milk at midnight. Some might say giving the expressed milk will give a longer gap between feeds, reducing suckling at the boob and hence milk production. But it won't work for me any other way. Besides, what's so wrong about trying to get a good stretch of sleep for both DS and myself (once I've expressed my milk)? And I am counting on the fact that expressing my milk again after giving an expressed bottle should in some way compensate for the long gap between suckling at boob - it's still stimulating the breast to produce more.

But I am going to stop feeing guilty about giving formula if it is required. I want to enjoy my last few weeks with my baby before I start work again next month - I don't want it to be such a battle. Besides, I will need to cut back some breastfeeds soon, as I ain't going to be expressing at work (won't work for me!). I will still aim to BF him in morning, when I come home from work, and before he sleeps.

Dear Positron
I am experiencing exactly the same issues as you. Breastfed my DS until he was 9 months and wanted to do the same for my DD who is now 11 weeks. However she is feeding for hours at a time. While with my DS I could do this, it is impossible when I have a 3 year old to look after. My DD is a happy soul by day, only waking once in the night, so it indicates she is satisfied with supply, but her weight is not changing, and the minute she is off after having both breasts, her fist comes in her mouth and she is chomping/sucking for dear life. Have given her the odd bottle of either expressed or formula and like yours, she gulps it down like she is starving hungry. Last night I went out for the first time and my DH ended up giving her both full bottles I had left (one was, I thought, just for an emergency). I am really torn I want to continue to give the goodness of the breast but do not want to not give enough to my little one, or spend my whole life feeding her whilst my DS is stuck in front of the telly!!!

CazzaB,

Totally understand where u r coming from.

Could it be that your DD is having a growth
spurt round about now? I must admit, when mine went rhough his growth spurts, I gave formula top ups, although this isn't the official advice, which I suppose is to persevere with nursing more often, as milk supply will take another 2 days to increase with more frequent nursing. Not easy when there's a three year old to take care of
too - just not always conducive to optimal time for nursing. Like you said, don't want to stick the child infront of telly all day - not good for them either.

I have come to realise though that as long as we r trying our best with BF, and all the natural goodness we r giving to our babbies, then why beat ourselves up about a bit of formula here and there. I tried to find the anser to this question (i.e. the title of this thread), but in the end, I have answered it for myself, and hopefully you will answer it for yourself too.

I feel a big weight is lifted of my shoulders for being able to move forward - just want to enjoy what time I have left with baby before I go back to work - before I knew it, he is now almost 5 months, and I am going to have to start introducing more formula soon anyway, as I will be going back to work next month.

great thread. I wonder is there an issue with digestion when introducing formula for the first time. Will it upset her tummy??

DD2 is 13 weeks and EBF. I have ready made formula that i want to use for practising with a bottle. (she won't take a bottle).

My SIL suggested offering an 1oz a day of formula since it is easier than trying to express then offer (takes less effort to just pour a bit of formula into bottle and try that). once she takes a bottle no problem then i can just use formula for emergencies. but the key for me is getting her to take a bottle.

Dear me! What a lot of anguish over breast feeding, I can't believe all the fuss and horror expressed over using formula milk - and the guilt!...WHY? What do you think will happen to your child if they are not breast fed, become juvenile delinquents? Have low IQ's and horror of horrors, not get into a good university?
The thought of breast feeding my children made me cringe as does seeing a child being breastfed (can't help it, it's just how I feel). None of my children had one oz of breast milk. ( and the eldest was weaned starting at 6 weeks as he was a big baby) My babies were never ever ill, never vomited, didn't get colds etc (it's the truth!) The eldest is on his way to gaining A* in every GCSE subject (except French!) The youngest is just as bright, sings in the Cathedral choir and is a goods sportsman so RELAX, give the odd bottle of formula it won't do them any harm. As soon as you go outside the child will be breathing in all the fumes from your 4X4's, much more harmful than anything Nestle will put in your child's body.

Eh?

Have you actually read the thread?
Seems as if you have some issues yourself tbh.

"The thought of breast feeding my children made me cringe as does seeing a child being breastfed (can't help it, it's just how I feel)"

That's genuinely sad.

And I give the odd bottle of formula and don't feel guilty.

That's an unpleasant post, realworld. You may have issues which you cannot help, but this should not give you license to belittle other people's concerns and request for support and clarification.

Don't you agree?

Realworld, I take it you are not aware of the well researched risks of Artificial Infant Formula feeding? Of the 35 million pounds a year spent by the NHS on treating illness in babies caused by NOT breastfeeding?

Yes it is real research real facts published by UNICEF www.babyfriendly.org.uk/page.asp?page=28

see www.whale.to/b/thomas.html

Nothing wrong with formula feeding if it is your choice and you are well informed.

Its great that your kids turned out fine, but some children are prone to allergies, and the research says those kids are better off breastfed.

Please, these ladies want help and advice because they WANT to do it and need the support. Many ladies give up earlier than they wanted to. Lets try and give them the support, rather than implying they may as well not bother cos its not worth it

Realworld,

I wasn't able to breastfeed my firt child (DD) despite all good intentions, but thankfully been able to do it for DS (albeit not entirely exclusively). However, please don't make us feel bad for feeling guilty if we can't breastfeed optimally - we just want to try to do the right thing by our children, as I am sure you do too.

Having said this, I do sometimes feel that some in the breastfeeding community do not give a pat on the back to those who are genuinely trying their best with breastfeeding but simply can't manage to do it exclusively - it's like they have a kinda all or nothing approach to it...I don't know.....maybe I'm wrong .

Anyway, I saw a lactation consultant who came to visit me privately this morning, and I have to say, she was fab! Even though DS is now almost 5 months, I still feel I had a lot to gain by getting my latch checked, and being advised on recognising the stages of each feed, amongst other aspects. I am by no means rolling in £££££, but for me, a one off private consultation like this was well worth it, but just wished I had done it much sooner - I could have done with a confidence boost some time ago! As I said before, breastfeeding support local to me was not that optimal, and hence the private approach.

Positron, I'd like to say well done - for managing to BF after your previous bad experience, for working so hard at it and doing the best you can, and for managing to keep some perspective too...I think that if you are managing best by doing mixed feeding, (and lots of the time it seems you're giving Bmilk all through the day)then that's fantastic. It seems that you are now pretty clued up about watching your supply isn't disrupted too much by the evening feed too.

My main contribution has to be in the field of babies that pull off the breast yelling!
DD was a bit demanding, I must admit. There were a few reasons she used to pull off when she was very little:

1. At about 6 weeks she started fussing because she needed winding. She hadn't previously, and would burp and fart quite copiously during feeds, so I knew that was all ok. Then suddenly, she did need winding. Then after a few weeks, it stopped again

2. She would pop off in the middle of feeds and cry, and refuse to go back on....until I swapped sides. The discovery that she wanted to swap constantly was a massive breakthrough for me - and she continued feeding this way until past a year - on each side, swapping back and forth several times each feed. Apparently this kind of feeding helps to up the calories they get too (?)

3. While still little DD couldn't even feed herself to sleep. When she wouldn't accept either side anymore I had to jiggle her to sleep (and I used a dummy to help when she wouldn't accept the breast, but only until 6 months).

PS: I would also say I love the book The Wonder Weeks - this is the newish website, which I haven't looked at yet. It describes the developmental growth spurts that babies have. I found that DD would often have a physical growth spurt, followed by a developmental one, when she would become extra crabby. And any time she was growing she would feed more beforehand and not put on much weight. Please don't be too frightened if your boy doesn't gain weight occasionally, it's completely normal. As long as his weight doesn't start dropping or looking low over a long period.

Best of luck with whatever you choose to do

Hi Positron!!

Just wanted to say hello and give a little support.

You are doing very well. It is exhausting being a new mum with a toddler in tow. Things never go according to plan.
It is so demanding and there is no shame feeling helpless, tired and weepy some days.

TBH not sure being tired decreases milk supply but being tired will certainly make you feel inadequate when baby is a little bit hungrier or fussier.

BF requires perseverance in the long run, and you seem to be doing everything to make it work.
Hang on and really don't beat yourself up about the occasional FF.

Thanks so much thell and slim22. Really appreciate your words of wisdom .

I have decided now to start replacing 1 breastfeed per week with formula as I am going back to work in 4 weeks, (when DS will be just short of 6 months), with the ultimate aim of keeping morning and evening feeds going until DS is at leat a year old...who knows....may keep going longer if it can happen; thought of expressing at work doesn't appeal to me in my work circumstances .