Thats it, suwoo's breastfeeding journey is all but over.

[suwoo]

I thought things had got better after my visit to the baby bistro on Friday.

We got to the point over the weekend where he wouldn't even take the breast into his mouth . I think he is having a growth spurt (12 weeks) and I don't think I have enough milk to cope with it. Lets face it, I barely had enough milk anyway.

He was starving and had barely wet nappies so I had to give him a bottle which of course he wolfed down. He did bf overnight but this morning had a small feed and was crying and rooting for more but wouldn't go near my nipple- just cried.

He has had two 4 oz bottles and one breast feed since 7 am.

I have been crying all weekend and desperately hope that I may be able to give him a bed time feed and that my milk will stick around in order to do that.

I pumped four times yesterday and only got 2 oz (yes, I know its no indication).

As those of you that have followed my threads will know, I have tried everything to make this work, but unfortunately my body has got the better of me.

To have fed him for 12 weeks is more than I could have dreamed of, but that also makes it worse because we have come so far and now I feel it is being cruelly snatched away.

Anyway, enough of my waffling, just wanted to update you all and thank you for being with me on my journey.

Here endeth my self absorbed post

Oh suwoo I know exactly how you feel.
I wasn't able to breastfeed my two - although I tried but by 5 weeks I had to give up. I found out I have hypoplastic tubular breasts (thanks to PCOS ) and will never be able to produce enough milk to satisfy my babies, I just don't have enough milk producing glands
I fed and fed and fed for 5 weeks practically 24/7 - literally getting the odd 10 minutes break. My DC's still continued to lose weight.
It makes you feel like such a failure (you're not!)
It hurts a lot, no one seems to understand. Saying "you tried your best" doesn't make you feel any better. It doesn't make your breasts produce the milk you so want them to.

Just wanted you to know I understand completely and I'm amazed you have got so far (not that it's any consolation)

xxx

sounds like you've had a rough ride too Fruitb, hope you get that exotic honeymoon to make up for it.

thanks facebook

Fruitbatlings, that is exactly how I feel, it really doesn't help when people say that.

Cleanandclothed, thank you for saying I have been an inspiration, that is a lovely thing to say and I really do hope that I have helped someone. I never thought I would be this determined, but I have certainly proved to myself that I am not weak willed.

Tryharder, I tried supplementing with a bottle previously but DS got very confused and latching on needed to be re-remembered and was very painful and frustrating for me. S I suspect the feeding won't be an equal mix.

Stealth, yes you have remembered correctly, it is me that has had a breast reduction and other 'ishoos'.

He has had 5 bottles today but has also had some sucks at the breast lasting a few minutes.

I have pumped twice and got 6 oz, so that will do for his overnight bottle, but I am hoping he'll latch on and feed whilst he is sleepy.

Its been a very emotional day, but MN has got me through.

Suwoo ((hugs)) you have done a brilliant job and given your ds the best start in life.

Suwoo I really do feel for you. I am still trying to breastfeed dd2 after 4.5 months of fairly successful feeding, or so I thought. Took her to be weighed last week and she's only put on 3oz in a month. HV said must feed her more but hard to know how when she doesn't ask for or want anymore. Had trouble getting milk out of left breast so might be that she's not had enough, I don't know if that's what caused the weight stall. Panicked and gave formula top up a couple of times and now she's really complaining at left breast, screaming and crying, that sort of thing. Think I might have made it worse. Right breast not too bad but definitely not what it was. I've never had breasts I could squirt though!

Couldn't breastdeed dd1. Felt gutted about it, nearly drove me mad. Was so delighted and proud of myself for feeding dd2, even through thrush. Now feel gutted all over again that it might be coming to an end, probably through my own fault.

Just wanted to share my experience. You're not alone. I don't know why we beat ourselves up about it but we do. I try and think that if feeding her is my biggest problem then I ought to be grateful, there are lots of mummies out there that never got to feed their babies at all. Sorry to be morbid but I desperately want to get some perspective on life at the moment!

(((((((((SUWOO))))))))))))
for you having such a hard day

suwoo, hope you are having a more positive day today .
Have you considered a supplementer? I just thought in view of the problems with baby getting confused it might help?
I too understand that others saying "you tried your best" does not make you feel better and why, however it is still so true. In years/decades to come you might look back and appreciate the amazing achievement you worked so hard for.

Thanks pacific, I've been using one for a good 4/5 weeks now, but it was giving him a terrible latch and was a royal pain in the arse.

Am feeling better and I'm currently pumping again! He did feed from me in the night and this morning, but he had bottles aswell. He had 6 oz this morning and 7 oz three hours later so it must be a growth spurt. If I can carry on feeding him at night, then that would be brilliant.

Dawnybabe and fruitbat for you both too.

Secondcoming, thanks for your support. It was a bistro up here near me. We should meet up one day.

Suwoo I've been following your journey and I'm very for you.

Others are right- you have been an inspiration. I'm ashamed to say I don't think I'd have shown the sheer determination that you have over the past few months.

It's distressing when your body lets you down. I've had fertility ishoos and have been quite angry with my body at times.

I struggled to BF DS1 and he was FF. I used to put him to the breast for comfort for a little while. It did take me quite a while to get over it, but I did.

Please try not to be too hard on yourself (easier said than done - I know)

From what you've said your BF journey isn't over, but perhaps the pace has just slowed a bit

((((((((((((((Suwoo))))))))))))))

Suwoo, its people who post on here like you who keep others going. You have done a fantastic job. I've got issues and still want to Bfeed, 12 weeks seems like a lifetime away to me and if I reach that milestone I'll be delighted.

You should be giving yourself a massive hug every day and enjoy bedtime snuggles with your wee one.

My MIL 1960s childcare book suggested buying a new hat when I felt down after having the baby Not sure how that will help with feeding, but it might work

You have tried really hard and have not failed at all. I promise as soon as those bf hormones subside and your baby is happily guzzling a bottle you will wonder why you put yourself through so much guilt. My first two through poor advice only managed 16 weeks ish and that was both babies losing weight.

the amounts you are getting when expressing are amazing - hope you can keep going with that as well!

See, you're STILL BFing, hard though it is. But you're still providing his nutrition and comfort by the magic of your body. And so you've had to struggle and change things and adapt and tweak how he gets fed? It doesn't matter: you're still feeding. And so you need to pump here and there, and maybe sometimes add in some formula if you have to? It doesn't matter: you're still breastfeeding. Keep going if you want to and he wants to...

You're still breastfeeding. Brilliant.

Yes, I am still breastfeeding

I am feeling much, much better today. I pumped 3 oz from 10 minutes each side this morning, so I am really pleased with the quantity I am getting. I did feel a bit pissed off and questioned my decision, but I know 3 oz wouldn't be enough to sustain him and I doubt I would have that much again 2 hours later.

I fed him in the night and this morning when my boobs nearly exploded, they were so full.

The only bad thing so far, is the 3 lots of projectile vomit DS did last night . That upset me a bit as I know he wouldn't have done that from just breastfeeding but he must have got a bit greedy with the formula.

The main thing that makes me feel I have done the right thing is knowing he dropped down to the .4th centile- thats got to be a wake up call.

Thanks for all the positive re-inforcement and the comments about being inspiring to other people, that makes me feel so proud.

obviously

you going to start a new thread as this title is no longer relevant?

"suwoo is actually still breastfeeding although not as much as she was before"

Catchy isn't it

Maybe just the first bit

Yay!

I only managed 7 weeks with my DD and was distraught when I had to give up but I look back now and am grateful I managed to give her those seven weeks.

And starting to bottle feed was a real turning point in bonding with her because I didn't feel as if every feed was a battle.

You have done really well and tried so hard just focus on what you have been able to do

Well done you on pumping that much.

Well done on feeling more positive on what you are still achieving! And wow at the quantities !

I always felt it was unfair/wrong/demoralising that all MW/HV/GP records only allow tickboxes for "formula fed" or "breastfed", and sometimes "mixfed". What about "mostly breastfed"??

You are so most definetely still breast feeding. Such a good way of putting it.

New thread: "Amazing suwoo is BFing queen"?