Support thread for bf 6-12 months

[Hulla]

We've passed the ebf stage but we're not quite extended bf-ers. Any other "inbetweeners" want to join me in a general support thread?

We can chat about anything - bf & weaning, night feeds, going back to work, coping with pressure to stop, biting when feeding (ouch!, whether to stop, whether to carry on...anything.

Pull up a comfy chair and lets support each other. Chocolate biscuit anyone?

Can I also jump onto this thread?

My DS is 9.5 mos now, and started nursery a month ago when I went back to work. Other than some formula on the first night of his life when he was in special care, I breastfed him exclusively for 6 months, and the fed alongside solids (which he took to slowly but is now OK with). When he started nursery, I was expressing milk for him to have during the day, though I provided formula as back-up. Over the last few weeks, I have found it hard to keep the expressing going and so he is now mostly having formula during the day, but I am continuing to breastfeed him when he wakes up and also at bedtime.

I am a bit conflicted about whether to try a last effort at getting my supply back up a bit and expressing again during the day, or just to settle down to 2x a day breastfeeds - would certainly aim to keep those up until DS is 1. He only has formula at nursery; at weekends I feed as required, although not in practice that is only one extra feed, mid-morning when he needs a nap. One other thing I am slightly concerned about because of that is that he is not drinking much milk altogether - don't know whether I should put him to the breast more at weekends. He is pretty fidgety now as a feeder though except when sleepy, and so doesn't settle to it as well except when sleepy! Plus he has plenty of teeth so there are some biting incidents

Highs for me:

• Feeding after birth in the recovery room
• Being told DS was 'an excellent feeder' by watching midwife visiting us at home
• Watching DS sleep contentedly in front of me on the MyBrestFriend cushion (great product but it's not true that babies can't fall asleep on it!) while I watched hours of recorded TV when he was little

Lows for me:

• Desperate tiredness in very early days
• Illness at 6 months which severely affected my supply - I used to gush like a fountain but was never the same after that
• Not being able to donate breastmilk because of medications and medical history

DS is now sleeping through about 50% of the time, and waking once the rest, but till he was nearly 8 months he was waking twice a night, more on occasion. We moved him to his own room then and that seemed to make the difference. But I think also he just started sleeping more when he was ready.

Very glad the thread is here as this period is a tricky one and does seem to fall between 'core' and 'extended' BFing.

DD bit me yesterday. Really, really hard. She did it in her sleep and I was half asleep and pulled away but she had it tight between her teeth. Its agony feeding off that side today and you can see the tooth mark! Im going to try Lansinoh on it today.

Cara I hope you dont mind me asking but how did you end up with an unplanned homebirth? I'd love a homebirth but can never have one after dd's birth. It absolutely breaks my heart.

Hulla - ouch that's not good! Are you feeling better now? Your apple pancake with a bit of cinnamon added was fab. Really sorry to hear about your home birth issues though. That's sad

Bunny - I'm so pleased nursery is going better. That's such a relief

EightiesChick - the MyBrestFriend cushion literally saved my bf when I had terrible back problems. I love it! I still use it now with 7mo DD although she's getting a bit big for it. I remember her falling asleep on it when she was tiny too. I'm also trying to decide what to do about bf after going back to work 3 weeks ago. I am at work 3 days a week and have managed to express so far but it's flippin' hard work.

Hello, a couple of people asked me about what sleep training I've been doing with my eight month old...

It was a form of controlled crying. We've been doing it for 7 days now, after trying just about everything else, on paediatrician's advice, and much soul searching. We'd been co-sleeping, up every hour for weeks, I was beyond shattered and felt dangerous driving (and can't avoid driving every day), and dd was upset, had deep bags under her eyes, not napping in the day either. She's also on the 97th percentile.

Anyway... we started two weeks after moving her into the nursery. The first night she cried for 1 hour 20 minutes, with us going in every 2/3/4 up to 10 minutes. We've never let her cry longer than 10 minutes, but at that stage she's more murmuring than full on crying. The second night was 1 hour, the third 30 minutes. Now she's falling asleep after 5 minutes of on/off complaining. All week she's been sleeping for straight 11 - 12 hour stretches, which is amazing. She's so much brighter, happier, got colour in her cheeks, and has just started crawling properly this weekend.

It was very hard to do, but I now feel in my heart that I did the right thing.

I'm giving her as much milk as poss in the day (still feeding on demand, along with blw) - probably 5 - 6 proper feeds. I'm also feeding her 'almost' to sleep after her bath and story, and before we put her down.

Has anyone else been through this?

EightiesChick Can I ask - was your DS feeding lots in teh day prior to going to nursery? DD (now 10 months) will be starting nursery in the new year (at just over a year). She's still a BF fiend, feeds a LOT during the day and I'm slightly worried - well, very worried actually - about how she'll ever cope without it. I can express so she gets the milk, that's fine (I would rather she didn't have cow's milk although I know she can at that age) but I'm more worried about all those occasions she feeds cos she is upset/ tired/ won't sleep otherwise (and that's a whole other issue..)

I am not worried about the nutrition really - if she's hungry she'll eat more - just about the change being so dramatic for her. Any thoughts, anyone??

Also, another question for you Eighties - can you tell me more about expressing at work - has it been really difficult then? Thanks!

funwith that sounds like you have done the right thing for your baby. I can imagine it was very hard though.

eightieschick my 10mo baby sounds exactly like yours!

kiwipanda BB fed with a vengeance until I went back to work, to the point where I thought he'd never want to stop, but now his feeding habits have completely changed. He sleeps fine with his grandma, without needing milk, and she has other tactics for when he's upset. I have found going back to work to be a major thing for both me and BB - a positive thing, but not without difficulties. There have been times when I've been in floods of tears!

Hulla Aaah sorry to hear about the biting! That's awful. No worries about your Q; I love talking about BB's birth! I am really lucky as I have a close friend who is a midwife, and she looked after me (in her own time) and also delivered my baby. To cut a v long story short, I had a seriously quick first stage, had to have an ambulance called to take me to hospital, stomped upstairs like I was Queen and refused to f'ing go to the f'ing hospital, and then gave birth in our bedroom! OH had to be second midwife as we couldn't get one until 10 minutes before BB was born. The two paramedics (female) stayed and helped out, and the dog was upstairs at one point as well. The second stage was fairly long and difficult, and it took the threat of being taken into hospital for me to finally give birth. It was an amazing experience and I am definitely pro-homebirth. That said, it wasn't all rosy as I lost too much blood, went horribly anaemic for weeks and weeks, and had some pretty awful internal stitches (again done at home thanks to my friend). Homebirth is great, but the most important thing is the safety of mum and baby and I think that, as long as you end up with a healthy baby, it doesn't matter where it takes place.

Drcosy I went back to work 7 weeks ago and found I had to express for the first few weeks, otherwise it was painful, but during the last couple of weeks I have been able to just feed morning and night. He has formula when I'm not around. Expressing at work is very difficult to me because of the job I do/lack of time to express.

However, I only work two days a week so you may not want your LO to have formula so much if you're full time.

Hi kiwi and all,

I am lucky in that I have my own office to express in at work, but the problem is time. I am likely to have people coming along to see me at unpredictable times during the day, plus it's just fitting in the expressing. Foe the first few weeks back at work I was on a flexible schedule and went home to express (I don't live far away) but now it's more full-on again, I am finding that in the struggle to get my DS ready for nursery in the morning, plus myself, it tends to be packing the pump etc that falls by the wayside. I have been telling myself that I will pump in the evening instead, but I'm finding that a) I'm tired and still have other stuff to do, and b) I'm hardly now getting anything - 1 oz a time if that atm. So I need to decide whether I go back to making a concerted effort to express or decide to let it go and have DS on formula during nursery days.

DS did feed a lot in the early days - it now seems like most of my mat leave was spent feeding. I was feeding on demand day and night. What changed it was when he started to get more comfortable with solids at about 7 months, and then he naturally dropped down to feeding less. When he started nursery I took in as much BM as I could express, and also provided formula, saying that if and when DS had had all the BM, to offer formula when he seemed to want it. As it turns out, he will have some but doesn't seem to go mad for it - his meals and water there seem to fill the gap, and as cara says above, it seems that other strategies work at nursery when if it was you, you would feed. So actually, though I was worried, it seems to have sorted itself out. Fingers crossed your DD will do the same. How is she doing with solids?

It is tricky as in the early days I would never have imagined giving DS formula even now - my supply was so good in the beginning that I believed I would always be able to express as much as he needed - but now it's not like that, and given the limited amount of time I have I am finding that I'm prioritising laundry, work, eating dinner peacefully etc over expressing, knowing I can do that because the formula is available. I figure he is still getting breastmilk so will have at least some of the benefits. But it is a difficult compromise.

Hello - can I join. 8 months BF now and feeling sad at prospect of stopping - I love it and so does DS.... only thinking about stopping because back to work in 2 months and won't be able to express during the day (hectic teaching).

At the mo Ds has
no morning feed as fed at 4am,
solids at 8am
post nap BF 10.30 ish
solids lunch
afternoon BF 3.30 to 4 ish
solids supper
milk at bedtime (am topping up with formula to help nights)
11pm bf.

Other babies I know have a lot less milk than this and DS is HUGE. Do you think I am feeding him too much?

Don't want to stop BF but can't see how I can continue once am working 3 days - surely my supply will drop off so I won't be able to bf on the other 4 days?

Anyway - I too am a big fan of BF. Tho I got mastitis in the first week and it was hellish.

Cara that sounds fab. I wish I'd had a home birth with dd rather than going to hospital. I wasn't treated very well from start to finish and now I'm left with all kinds of problems. Still, thats for another thread.

Hi dycey I think you can mix feed by 8 months and your supply will adapt. There are women on here doing it! So if you want to continue to bf when you're with ds then you can.

My own dd isn't interested in milk unless its straight from the source! She had some ebm in a sippy cup last week and drank it with gusto until she realised it wasn't and spat it out! My friends 10 month old daughter is the same and refuses milk at nursery (she's ff) but catches up at home. She panicked at first but accepts it now & its obviously not just a bf thing!

cara your homebirth sounds fab. I would also love a homebirth but it definitely wasn't an option last time and doubt it will be this time either Am lucky that I was treated very well in hospital though.

Are people still wearing nursing bras? I desparately need new bras (only have one that fits OK now!!!)

The last time I went to La Senza and bought two really nice nursing bras. I am wondering whether I still need nursing bras now he is 10 months and on 3/4 feeds a day. Would underwiring be a problem?

Oh for a decent looking bustline again!

I'm still wearing nursing bras and probably will be for ever! I think underwiring is fine if its well fitted though, especially at this stage. So long as you've not had lots of problems with blocked ducts I would go for it. I'm feeling quite at the thought of nice bras actually

lol tasmanian yeah I had to explain to one of the girls at work why I needed to express! She looked a little awkward.

Hulla I know two other mums who had the same situation with their babies, nothing but BM straight from the boob. BB took a bottle of formula from me today Was quite sad about it in a strange way as he always used to refuse it from me. It was an attempt to get him to nap, as he booby fed but woke up half an hour later....didn't work though. he finally napped at 5pm!!

dycey at 8mo my BB was still on about 6 feeds a day so I wouldn't worry. he is still growing like mad, with lots of BM and BLW too.

Thanks gs I tried on one underwired one that was lurking in the back of my undies drawer and wow!! So much more flattering. La Senza nursing bras did save me though, I was in these hideous mothercare things before that - they just ride up the back and make you look saggy Nice.

Payday tomorrow so I'm going bra shopping

That's a good question - what stage can you ditch nursing bras? I'm fed up of them. DD is 8 months, still on 5 - 6 feeds a day...
Do extended bf (past 12 months) still wear nursing bras?

Hello, I am still bf Felix (DC4) who is 6.5 months. I am actually very proud of making it this far. Three things have helped, apart from MN:

underwired nursing bras by Anita

An electric cool bag that can plug in the mains at my office and also plug into my car's cigarette lighter during my commute.

An Avent iQ pump.

I have even managed to train him not to bite me!!!

Wow - very busy over here. Well done again Hulla for setting this up

Dycey - my DS is nearly 9 months and has 1 extra feed in the day plus between 1 and 400 (well it feels like it sometimes) during the night.

Cara - I'm still in feeding bras too, usually with a damp patch, despite nipple pads. Am very sexy.

Have loved reading about BFing highs and lows, makes me appreciate how easy I've had it. Here are mine:

Highs

• the first feed just after DS was born. He latched straight on and just went for it. I remember thinking 'thank god one of us knows what they're doing.'
• knowing that DH is still comforted by it.
• DS's 'boob face' when he was new born.
• it's the only time in the day when he's vaguely still and calm

Lows

• expressing. Urgh, felt totally violated by the breast pump, took ages, could only force a drop out, only to find DS refused it in a bottle.
• DH still being comforted by it in the middle of the night
• General tiredness, especially on the 4th feed of the night (post 6 months).

Can I come and join you all too? DS is nearly 10mo and has been pretty much exclusively breastfed but I've just started giving one bottle of formula at lunchtime as he was treating me a bit like a snack bar, wanting to cruise over and have a quick drink every few minutes between playing and getting cross if I wasn't permanently 'available'. I don't think he really needs that feed anymore but he'll glug formula then so I'm kind of hoping the extra calories might go a small way towards solving the night feeding issues which are extensive

General plan is to get to 12mo and then see - might carry on if he goes down to morning and night feeds. ATM he's feeding more or less 3 hourly day and night still so not sure I'll carry on if that doesn't improve...

well hello there, chums from the six month non sleepers thread! and hulla, long time no see.

i love the highs and lows! i will start with my negatives

1 - my boobs are positively saggy after 10 months of ebf. they are never going to be the same. i suspect i will be able to tie them in a bow by the time ds is a year.
2 - nursing bras are ugly and do nothing for my 'shape' - i have never been so excited to put on a normal bra
3 - my employers' failure to provide a comfortable space to express in. not only do i hate the tedium of expressing, i resent the feeling that i'm the only one (in an organisation of 1000's) that's doing it!
4 - the feeling that i'm starting to make other people uncomfortable by feeding my son. and that i should justify it..very depressing in this day and age

Positives are much easier

1 - cuddles! milky cuddles. sigh. i am going to find it hard to give up feeding
2 - no periods. hooray!
3 - free calories - how am i going to stop consuming all my extra calories?? i am going to turn into a womble.
4 - boob fixes everything. bit upset? have some boob. bit too hot? boob? too cold? booby? poorly tummy? boob'll fix it. they are magic.

seriously i am intending to give up at 12 months as i'd like to conceive again fairly soon. and i am in danger of throwing ds across the room if he bites down hard one more time. but i am surprised by how much i've grown to love it.

Drcosytiger - I went back to work this week (DD is a week shy of six months) and have so far managed to express enough for our shared nanny to give her the following day. This despite the Tommee Tippee electric pump, which has been a total pain. A decent letdown causes milk to squirt up the air tube and risks electrocuting me, so I've just ordered a Medela double pump instead. Luckily I brought a manual pump as backup... I've been using the Medela cooler bag, which holds four bottles - I freeze the cool pack overnight and stick the bag in the fridge at work during the day, and no one knows what's inside it. So it can be done!

I wish I didn't feel guilty for taking an hour to express during the working day, though. Obviously I give up my lunch break to do it, but a few colleagues clearly think I'm being perverse.

stainesmassif - have you tried Freya or Anita nursing bras? Figleaves.com have them. I also like Elle Macpherson's range but evidently supermodel's breasts don't swell much because they only go up to a DD or thereabouts. M&S nursing bras are hideous.

I find bfing so enjoyable - it calms me like nothing else...

I am off the nursing bras and wearing the lovely soft ones I bought for pregnancy which I can just tug down....

Wondering if anyone else has had this curious experience? - DS will only feed on one side - started this at 5 months. It's the faster flowing side - the one that used to choke him when he was tiny, when he preferred the slow side. Now am lopsided and the slow side has almost given up the ghost.

Amazing if one is providing enough milk.
Can't fight him over this one!

LO teeth coming through and really hurting - can see why people give up when teeth come into play.

BoffMonster - talk to me about the biting training that was a success...at the moment the little sharp bit of her bottom teeth which has come through the gum seems to rest on the nipple when she feeds. it is so sore. misery. biting will be next i suspect..

I too hate hate my greying grim nursing bras. they are so deeply unattractive..but think i am too tight to buy more at this stage!