Training to be a BF Support Worker....BF & non BF mummys what are your biggest concerns? Feedback appreciated.

[clouiseg]

I am Training to be a Voluntary Breast Feeding Peer Support Worker for the La Leche League.

Just wanted to put my feelers out and see what the general (and most common) concerns are in the real world?!

I BF dd1, FF dd2 and mixed fed dd3. Have had cracked nips, poor latch, mastitis, the works!!

I am volunteering to help other mums and mums to be both in the home and in the Post natal wards (plus lobbying to offer antenatal support before LO's arrive!).

The only problem I have faced, is that in my very small group of fellow trainees, 99% have found BF a breeze with little or no difficulty. I feel that gaining a realistic picture of worries, concerns, anxieties or even just opinions would enable me to give the group an insight into what it is like to struggle to BF at times.

Any comments, input or funny stories would be much appreciated!

Thanks, Claire. xxxx

tiktok my apologies, I wasn't referring the PSC as a co-ordinator, I meant Breastfeeding Peer Support Counsellor (PSC) which is what we are called training with the LLL. Sorry, I wasnt intending to suggest you were something else!

Indeed when faced with a problem I would refer the woman for further help, but in the case of my LLL cousellor, she correctly identified me as having mastitis and encouraged me to visit my GP. I do believe that PSCs should have as much experience as possible in order to convey the correct information, but having 3dds (I would hope) will give me much more experience than the literature provides. I does irritate me sometimes when people offer advice with no experience (midwives with no children who tell you they know better for example!)

I was treated badly, and sadly I am not in the minority. So many people I know have suffered the same and there looks to be very slow, if any, change for provisions in the wards. So I guess we are the 'bods' filling the gap . Having taken advantage of the counsellor service I am sure women would be grateful for any foot in the door to gain the help they need. If this means volunteers like myself are the first port of call then so be it. It will be more support than I and many others received...and I know sometimes - hormones raging - you just want someone to sound off to!!! I feel that if a mum just needs encouragement or a chat, I would be much better equipped to offer that than say, a midwife who is extremely busy and rushed off her feet. It goes without saying that every case must be judged on its own merits, and equally I may end up chatting to someone in dire need of specialist support. Who knows?

What a few people haven't realised is another very important key role is that we advocate and encourage BFing in any given setting. With BFing figures dwindling its without doubt an important void needing to be filled. So in terms of the future of breastfeeding , we are urged to stay positive, reinforce it when possible and generally sing its praises...but bearing in mind as I said previously I would NEVER pressure anyone, or judge someone for FFing!

Its such an emotive subject, that much is obvious from the responses on here. Its a subject very close to a lot of peoples hearts!!

Agree with much of the above. For me, in the past 10 weeks, the issues were:

1. unsatisfied baby on the colostrum days, desperate latch leading to cracked nipples, and a blister. Childbirth suddenly a distant memory.

1. I supplemented a little with FF in those first few days - about 3oz three or four times in total. Felt like an abject failure. Hated myself. But got a couple of decent sessions of sleep as DP took over.

1. Had NHS bf counsellors visit me at home on day 4-6 ish. Was wonderful just to have a nice lady gently amend the positioning, remind me to drink water and simply say it's all ok.

1. Getting royally fed up of "it gets easier after x days/weeks" and near simultaneous "but watch out for the growth spurt at x weeks/months, ho ho, that's a killer". Those statements are not helpful. May I suggest that a subtler way of saying the former is "I really sympathise, you are obviously in one of the difficult periods of bf-ing just now, you have done/are doing really well." Resist the temptation to say "keep it up" - leave that as the implication.

1. Onset of problems - when to ask for help? I spent a few days worrying that the lump in my breast was bloody cancer and being scared but doing nothing about it before realising the far simpler explanation - it was a blocked duct. Went to the GP, got told it was already mastitis. Then (as I've done to death elsewhere and made myself sound a right martyr) developed an abscess, seen it burst, been this close to surgery, and am still waiting for the wound to close up. And the blocked duct is still there behind it.

1. Phoned one of the helplines during above saga (NCT I think). Nice lady, very reassuring and professional, obviously happy to talk for as long as I needed to (I burst into tears as soon as she answered and it was some time before I collected myself). However on reflection what she did was look up all the same websites I'd already tried for mastitis info - kellymom, LLL, BfN - and distilled them for me. What I take from that is that sometimes you don't need to bring anything new to the situation other than a clear head and logical approach.

Lexilicious my gosh you've been through it! Having had mastitis I symapthise, but to end up with an abcess....poor you . I will take on board your advice about how to reassure mothers instead of using the age old cliches!

I agree that a lot of the "counselling" services out there do tend to be fairly repetitive in their input (IME)! I also find (through friends) that much of the time, when we get to the point of phoning, we have already exhausted most of the search engines available so we need more than just recommendations to websites here there and everywhere!

That said (before anyone picks up on it) I am not insulting the value of pointing out said websites, there are of course ladies who will need the information. I think in the internet age we live in, I would be more inclined to ASK if the lady has visited any helpful websites, i.e.....! And then offer the info as required.

tiktok just for info, I had already said I would NEVER refer to a lady as 'mummy' in a support capacity. However, on here I assumed that it was an informal 'chat' forum whereby I don't have to watch every word. And I had mentioned the context issue. Now if we could leave it alone I'd much appreciate it! Thanks

To all of you who have taken the time to reply and share your experiences, I can not thank you enough. There is so much to take on board, and I feel humbled by your responses. Also, I feel strangely comforted by the fact that I identify with so many of you. Whilst BF issues are not something to be happy about, we can at least rest assured that somewhere out there, SOMEONE knows how you feel!

xxx

Another one whose dc couldn't suck and lost weight rapidly. In my case, I found out 11 (!) years later that it was nothing to do with me but entirely due to her hypotonia. So that's one to know to look out for.

TO be fair, I had very good support from midwive/HVs?hospital breastfeeding counsellor. But unfortunately, I was so heavily into message breast-is-best and demand-feeding-is-always-right that I couldn't take in the fact that my dd was simply too weak to demand any food at all. We ended up in hospital.

What would really have helped me would have been if the people around had realised that this is what happens with hypotonia and been able to tell me 'look here, you are not a standard case, this is something medical. never mind what usually happens to breastfed babies, this is different; even maybe had us referred to a paediatrician.

(in our case, hypotonia was a sign of a connective tissue disorder that I have since found is genetic in my family; it has rendered dd disabled since age 7- early diagnosis would have made all our lives easier).

For dd, early top-ups or even bottle-feeding would have made a big difference. For me, the realisation that there was a medical cause behind her failure to thrive would have alleviated the guilt. And stopped me making things worse by just shoving the breast at her when she wasn't coping.

ANother one to look out for is that Methyldope, the blood pressure drug usually recommended for breastfeeding, can render some women very dopey and/or depressed. I went around like a zombie until my GP pointed out that I was actually putting ds at risk. But I was so anxious to breastfeed. Looking back I am just thankful that I didn't drop him on his head. When I stopped breastfeeding earlier than intended and changed drugs it was as if an enormous cloud lifted and I became connected with the world again.

Obviously, you won't be dealing with the medical side of things, but it's the kind of very emotional decision you may need to support someone through: what to do if your medical needs (or the baby's need to be looked after by somebody who is awake and competent) clash with your baby's need for breastmilk. It was a very emotional decision to make.

I'm expecting DC1 and my biggest concern is bf and whether I'll be able to do it. Before I got pregnant, I thought it would be really straightforward and natural but, the more I learn about it, the more I wonder if I'll be able to do it/bother to continue if it gets tough. I've read quite a few books but I think that there's going to be a lot of difference between a written explanation and doing it in practice. And there doesn't seem to be much practical help available. In the NCT class, the men were (bizarrely in my opinion) shown how to hold and position the baby for feeding (so that they could support us when we were feeding) whilst we were shown nipple shields etc but told not to buy them as, if we needed them, we were doing something wrong. I've asked my MW what support there will be on the post-natal ward and was basically told that I'd be lucky to get any support given how busy all of the staff will be but that she will help as much as she can when she visits me.
Also, all of my friends seem to have experienced some pain at least in the early days so being continuously told "if it hurts you're doing it wrong" doesn't seem that helpful.
Fingers crossed that I'll figure it out but I can see a few tears being shed in the process.

thedollshouse, I think it's a good idea to put something in your birth plan and talk to your midwife at antenatal appointments about the fact that you really feel a need for more bf help this time round. I didn't manage to bf ds1 in circumstances which sound quite similar to your story, but I have managed to with ds2 after a lot of initial problems. I got a lot of help from the hospital bf counsellor because I kept asking for it, but there was only one of her.

Murtette, I think it's valuable to be prepared for problems and I hope you don't actually have them, better than the other way round. Come and ask questions here if you do though.

I would also find out where local bf support groups are - normally pregnant women are welcome, perhaps go along at the end of your maternity leave and have a cup of tea and a chat then, then it won't be as daunting to go back when baby's born, whether it's help or the social side of it you need.

clouiseg - I come from a family of breastfeeders and never expected to have any problems. At about 4 days old, DD started to refuse the breast. Sometimes if I expressed a little then re-tried she would be able to feed, but some days she just couldn't latch. In desperation I tried nipple shields and she was finally able to latch and feed. After 3 weeks she was able to feed normally. Still feeding 9 months later and intend to continue until 18 months.
Some members of my family scoffed at the 'problems', accused me of attention seeking - typical comment was "For god sake, what do you need to see a Lactation Consultant for??? You just wait until the baby opens her mouth and then stick her on"

I'd have liked someone to tell me, in advance, that it is difficult. It takes time to get it right as you and the baby learn together.

I would also have liked to have known at certain points they will have a growth spurt and be feeding all day.

I'd like some recognition of the fact that you can breastfeed to a rough schedule, rather than always on demand. I got really annoyed when someone on here said 'schedules are for bottle-fed babies' - actually, pretty furious. So if I can't function without a schedule, I should just give up and give him formula? None of the benefits of breastfeeding matter if you're not feeding on demand?

FWIW, DS is almost one and has never had formula. I breastfed three-hourly (until he started to drop feeds when on solids) and we managed fine.

Rian, rigid schedules make breastfeeding less likely to work.

Many mothers and babies actually can't make it work on a three-hourly schedule - but some babies naturally fall into that pattern, and some babies can be encouraged to adopt it.

I don't think formula fed babies should have a rigid schedule either.

I'd have like to have known that breastfeeding was quite so demanding early on. I had my baby early so hadn't got around to reading my books and was totally unprepared for how you could feed 18 hours out of 24.

I'd have also liked to have known that breastfeeding can come without engorgement, leaking and feelings of fullness. I was convinced it wasn't working properly because I had none of those common problems.

I'd have also liked to have known in advance that expressing can't indicate supply. In fact I'd urge most new mothers to not bother to buy pumps unless there is a pressing reason to do so. Why many of us do buy pumps in advance I don't know. But that way madness, supply problems and downheartedness lie.

To add, I'd also have liked to have known how utterly wonderful it can be. I cannot imagine feeding my 1 year old any other way. I know my other bottle-feeding friends pity me for breastfeeding my baby to sleep for every nap and bedtime but after some expectation readjustment, I view it as a huge gift.

Mind you, breastfeeding and worrying about my daughter's weight (she was weeny at 5lbs) was ALL I did for 6 months. It's all I read about, all I talked about (I bored my husband rigid) and all I worried about. But I think it was the naturally the main focus of a post-natal anxiety disorder.

That it can be quite so all-consuming took me by surprise.

I bought a pump in advance and it was a lifesaver as DS wouldn't latch on until he was a week old. It would have been a nightmare trying to sort out getting one after the birth - the shop round the corner sold formula, but not pumps, so which would have been easier? Although having to sterilise 3-hourly through the night at least put me off the whole idea of bottle-feeding! Once he could latch on easily (at about 3 months old) I felt very grateful that all I had to do was lift him up and put him to my breast with no faffing around!

don't the hospital supply proper heavy duty ones? Mine did in Singapore.

My shop bought one didn't work with me and some friends have said similar. Surely that can lead to disheartening feelings that you're not producing, which could derail the process in the early days.

I'd rather go down the route of going to a breastfeeding counsellor FIRST, rather than reaching for an Avent Isis/Medela Swing in the event of problems. Any time spent faffing about with pumps and not suckling/trying to remedy the issue could lead to problems.

And I know what those problems can be like as my early baby took some bother to get going.

And, erm, can't your partner or a family member nip to get a pump for you if problems arise and you absolutely have to have one?

I just think it's one piece of expensive, faffy, stressy equipment that gets in the way of many women establishing a proper breastfeeding relationship, but that we get suckered into buying them when we walk around a baby store -- much like feeding chairs, sterilizers.

I can see the American obsession with pumping though, as most working mothers get only 12 weeks mat leave so efficient pumping is a goal for many.

Nope, hospital didn't give us one. They gave us a couple of syringes for the colostrum, but that got 1ml max at a feed. I got lots more with a Tommee Tippee pump, and when my milk came in I could get 180ml a time.

Family weren't around and I needed my DH with me for support - he did pop into town at one point and I was phoning him asking when he would be back constantly.

We did try other things to remedy the issue. Constant skin-to-skin, every feed trying to breastfeed first, lots of people looking at me and DS. He simply wasn't interested in latching on. If I hadn't had a pump I wouldn't have managed to breastfeed - my milk would probably have dried by the time he got the hang of it, and I would have had to give him formula in the meantime to stop him starving.

I guess it's a personal thing. For some people they could cause problems, for me they were a lifesaver. Just not sure if there's a way to know which you'll be before the birth!

Well, glad to know you got there in the end I know how it feels to try to feed an uninterested baby, and also know how it feels to be so isolated -- I was thousands of miles away from anyone I knew.

i'm very late to this thread but just want to say to clouiseg that i am in Lincolnshire and when my son was born 4 years ago the BF support i received was dreadful and i struggled for 8 weeks and then gave up. I hope to have another dc next year and will be trying to get a BF support network in place before i have a baby in my arms.