MIL gave dd3 chocolate today...

[misdee]

it was literly a tiny crumb of a piece. she seems unsettled this evening, please tell me i'm being paranoid and upset for no reason (apart from MIL going against my wishes).

[jasper]

Someone I know told me today he gave his granddaughter a mars bar to suck on. She is TWELVE WEEKS OLD!

[Heathcliffscathy]

cod cod cod cod! she is 12 weeks old! honestly i know you are (rightly) against prissiness in mothering but misdee also has big allergies in her family... i think your MIL is bang out of order (have never used that phrase before!) and you should kick her arse (have used that one )

seriously, i would be livid. you need to talk to her so she doesn't continue.

[jasper]

misdee I would be hopping mad.
Have a word with her

[Sponge]

It's not the fact that it's chocolate. She shouldn't be eating anything at 3 months. Toast is probably worse.
I would be very pissed off as well and I would certainly say something if are consistently trying to feed her things before you're ready for her to have them.

[cheekychops03]

Hi misdee
IMHO your MIL is very wrong. I too am strict about what goes in my 2yo mouth and if anyone had given him chocolate at 3 months I would have hit the roof several times over.
I know its really difficult but you do need to try and talk to MIL. My Mum kept asking if she could give ds cakes and chocolate. I kept saying no then after one nag too many I 'lectured' her on why we had made the decision about our baby. We wanted to give him the best possible start in life and fully accept that when he is older, he will eat sweets, go to McDonalds () and all the stuff we don't agree with but that's something we deal with then. Hopefully, the healthy meals and snacks we give him now will do something positive (at parties, he already goes for carrot sticks etc and isn't bothered about cake - off his own back - if he wants a little bit of that at a party that's fine, we don't stop him. He's just not going to get it at home on a regular basis).
Anyway, sorry to rant on but this is a subject very close to my heart.
Got to go - suitase needs to go in the car.....
BE BRAVE - talk to them. You sound like a fab Mum.
CC

[Tommy]

My Mum gave my DS2 ribena when he was really young and had only had breastmilk - I went mad at her (fortunately it was my Mum and not my MIL)so I sympathise with you misdee although I wouldn't worry too much - it's probably hurt your feelings more than your DD's health

[marthamoo]

Well she's far too young and your MIL is bang out of order (I have never said that either, soph!)

Top and bottom of it though is that no-one should give something to your child, whatever their age, without checking with you first. You're entitled to feed your 9 month old chocolate HobNobs and think that someone who doesn't is OTT - but you are not entitled to take that decision out of their hands and feed them these things yourself.

My children do have chocolate, crisps and biscuits and (shoot me down in flames) the occasional McDonalds. But that's my decision, for my children.

I don't even give my bf's dd (2) a biscuit or chocolate without asking her first. It's polite!

[hunkermunker]

Yeah. What Marthamoo said

Coddy, can I feed your children my breastmilk? Go on, please. You're an OTT weirdy if you say no.

[oops]

Message withdrawn

[koalabear]

misdee - i AM actually alergic to chocolate - was given it as baby and ended up in emergency - if you baby is ok, there's nothing to worry about - but i would speak to MIL - there are generally good reasons we don't give unsuitable foods to little people

[hunkermunker]

Misdee - realise my post was a bit flippant - would be totally livid with MIL if she had given DS chocolate. V difficult situation though - sympathise greatly.

FWIW, a crumb of chocolate won't be the reason she's unsettled IMO. But if there's a "reason" you can give to unsettled behaviour in a baby, you always will - but some nights they're just unsettled.

Don't worry, but try to explain to your MIL in words of one syllable why she shouldn't do it again!

[ThePrisoner]

Why does anybody think it's OK to give someone else's child (of any age) anything to eat or drink without asking the parent/carer? I have childminded children with severe food allergies/intolerances, and for families with moral or religious reasons for not eating certain foods, and get really ratty with other parents at toddler groups etc. happily giving out biscuits, drinks and even sweets to children that they don't even know!! WHY???

[busyalexsmummy]

WOW 3 chocolate at 3 months!!!!!! and ice lolly????
I would have gone spare, that is totally unnecessary. I think you need to sit fil and mil down and explain why their behaviour is totally out of order.
I think giving a child who cant ask for it chocolate/crisps/ice lollys is bang out. it makes me sick seeing people in the street feeding their 6 month olds a bag of milk buttens or a bag of wotsits, WHY????? they are not asking for it so why give it to them and get them into bad habbits and sugar cravings from early on??
Im no earth mother or anything but I endeaver to do the best i can for my son, He only had things like rice cakes/bread sticks/raisons/grapes etc up until my dp's cousin gave him choc whilst babysitting on afternoon(which i wasnt too pleased about), hes now 16 months , he occasionally has crisps, but only jumpys or pom bears as they have no artificial rubbish in them and rarely does he have chocolate. I dont think hes deprived in any way and he never tries to take sweets/choc off of other children.

[busyalexsmummy]

Ps and i agree with theprisoner, why do other people think its their godamm right to feed your kids what they like?? I always check with the parent before giving a child something, besides all the health reasons its just bl**dy politeness, something that alot of people nowdays dont have.

[mears]

Misdee - I would have been absolutely fuming. Infact MIL went to give my DS1 cream off a cake at about the same age and I shouted at her!!
Tell her clearly that you are wanting to exclusively breastfeed until 6 months and you do not want her to be given anything else to eat. Tell her about risk of allergies etc. Be firm, she is your baby. You decide what she eats and when.

[roosmum]

misdee - fil tried to feed ds a boiled sweet at abt 4 wks...& carried on like it was some joke even after i'd said NO. followed by trying to get him to suck on chocolate fingers a couple of wks later, it makes me MAD! pil are looking after ds next wkend whilst we're at a wedding & i dread to think what my baby (who's only ever been bf at 19wks) will be forced to eat, i hardly want to leave him with them azs i just can't trust them not to feed him rubbish, sigh
just because they used to feed their kids anything/everything ridiculously early, they think they can feed mine , it's just not on.

[misdee]

thats why i'm not 100% at leaving hewr with them at the weekend. that and i havent got enough milk in the freezer, so would have to have a couple of cartons of formula handy just in case. so am not going. that and dh is ill.

[lunavix]

I'd be fuming.. but I'd like to stick up for cod in that misdee didn't mention her first two had allergies before. In which case MIL should DEFINATELY know better.

People take no notice do they. Ds was weaned very early, and MIL feeds him junk daily much to my annoyance and shouting. Friends and family have always given him 'treats' - the most annoying to me is hula hoops. He's 14 months, has only 5 teeth, they don't melt, and he's choked 4 times on them. Still, he's given hula hoops.

[roosmum]

sorry to hear that misdee...it's a shame that we cAN'T trust our (almost) nearest relatives to do what we say/want for our own babies huh?! i'm so sceptical abt them that i prob won;t even believe them if they say they haven't fed him anything...
i bet they will - which wd be so sad as then dh & i will miss roo's first bit of proper food...
grrrr!

[misdee]

thing is, their kids have allergies as well, their ds4 had bad milk allergy, and he wa son soy milk then goats milk when older. MIL had to stop bf him as the diary was getting through to him via her milk. this was 21years ago.

[misdee]

dd3 actually seems to have allergies as well. poor luv had eczema and atopic shiners. think she suffers hayfever as her eyes are very red.

[mandyc66]

this wont make sense to anyone....are you there groovy!?